On the flip side, I totally get why parents make the trade off too - and why proximity does not rule the day. There are things in the East Coast schools that can’t be gotten in Cal, and vice versa. And think of all of those international students. Blows my mind that people send their kids halfway around the globe to a country that speaks a different language. But they do it because they love their kids.
When you get down to it, choosing what the best boarding school is for your kid is the ultimate first world problem. How fortunate we all are.
@CateCAParent I know my kid has a friend who travels 4,000 miles or so to come to BS. Had never seen the school until day 1. Unbelievable. You have a to have a lot of trust in the universe ( and your kid) to do that. @gardenstategal Actually, I think you are lucky to draw blank stares. In our area, people are attached to the various Alphabet soup names, rather than getting the right fit for BS. I guess that mirrors CC.
@Happytimes2001 , I meant it that way! You may have to travel, but you are free of everyone else’s judgement.
As an aside, almost all the faculty kids I know make their decisions without regard for "prestige " but instead for fit. It makes sense that insiders understand what a difference that can make.
I don’t know if the blank stares and the judgment are mutually exclusive here in the boonies… At a holiday party at GK1’s school last night, my husband was wearing an SPS windbreaker. A lady at our table: “Oh is this the church downtown?” Husband: “No, it’s a boarding school in NH. Our daughter is a senior there.” Lady: “Oh! How come she there and your son is here?” Husband: “It was the best fit for her.” Lady, compassionately, “Aww, that’s ok! She’ll be alright!”
What do you mean by this? Almost all faculty kids go to the boarding school their parents work at and live at home while on campus, presumably going to school free of charge.
^^ Not true! Many of the well-endowed schools offer tuition at any school, not just their own. Many do this because they cannot admit all the fac-brats but don’t want to deprive these families of an important part of the compensation package.
I can fill a hand right now with kids I know not at the school where parents teach.
Don’t get me wrong, when it’s a fit - and it’s easy for it to be for a kid who grew up there and whose parents embrace the culture, staying “home” can be a great choice. But insiders often recognize quickly when it will not be.
A lot of faculty kids, particularly kids of Heads of Schools attend a different school. It can be though to attend a school at which you’ve grown up and where your parents work. I know a half dozen or so kids who attended different schools from those at which their parents worked, did not attend the biggest names they could have, and went on to Ivy League or equivalent schools. Smart kids, smart parents, smart choices.
I am sure there are some, and it makes sense for HOS kids, but given the sheer number of faculty kids in my son’s grade it seems the default is staying home. I am sure there are kids for whom it does not work. I am surprised they would pay for any BS, I can see it with Andover/Exeter where they don’t want to flood the grade with faculty kids (though they are quite large so certainly could), but for the others it is quite a bit more expensive if the child goes elsewhere if they are also covering room and board. They are essentially paying for it twice, and I imagine it could add up to a lot of money. I know universities do this for their professors, but even there it is tuition only.
DS has a lot of faculty kids at his school, but there are a few who have bucked the trend to go somewhere very different (and of course, all the girls go elsewhere). I can imagine faculty kids feeling a bit claustrophobic going to school where they have grown up and where their parents work.
As far as looking outside the region, we had no prior BS history (such as family tradition), but there was no reason to look farther than CT/MA — once we added BS to the secondary school mix, we had ample options. For families in NYC the ease of transportation makes a bigger radius easier, having pretty easy access to both NE and Mid-Atlantic (PA, NJ, MD, VA). Plus, the secondary school advisor at my kids’ school was familiar with some Mid-Atlantic and CA schools but not nearly to the same degree. I know of one kid going to CA (Cate) in the years my kids attended.)
And yes, we are lucky to be close as we get to see games, and it has worked out for DS to play his club sport. If he were farther away and less accessible, his trajectory might be very different.