New from The Atlantic "Mutually Nonconsensual Sex: Title IX is Too Easy to Abuse"

Parent Cafe
41

I think title ix has become a “weapon” in more ways than one. I use the example of what my son was put through when I form my opinion.

My son had been out with a couple of friends and one of them met a woman at a party and left with her to go to her place. The next morning my son met up with his friend and discussed the night before and told the friend “I would not have gone with her last night. She was too drunk and if anything had occurred she was beyond consent and you could have been looking at a rape charge.” The friend acknowledged nothing happened and thanked my son for the advice. On the surface I’m the proud parent of a son that not only listened to my advice/caution but is sharing it to help others.

Another friend (female) on his dorm floor heard the conversation and misconstrued it that my son had accused the friend of rape. She spread the word throughout the floor. When the truth caught back up with her she was embarrassed and attempted to use title ix as a weapon.

She went to the school and alleged that my son had been sexually harassing her with comments and gestures and because of this a title ix investigation was opened. My son was immediately moved out of his dorm, restricted to only campus buildings where and when he had a class, and was told he had a meeting in 2 days and at that time his housing would be terminated, but very few details were given as to what he was accused of. I attended the meeting with him and this was his only time to answer the charges/defend himself, with no prior knowledge of the accusations.

The immediate result of this meeting was a realization that the charges were most likely false but other witness statements had to be collected. His campus restrictions were eased. A week later, after the witness interviews, he was moved back into his former dorm building (but not his room). The investigation remained open another 2 months, with no certainty to how things would ultimately be resolved. This began Labor day weekend and he received the final resolution (not guilty) at Thanksgiving. He had a black cloud over him for almost the entire semester.

In reading the final report, the initial accuser backtracked on many statements and in reading between the lines and in talking to others involved, she actually came out in support of him, she did not want him suspended or expelled from the school, she just did not realize the potential impact of her report. She had been looking for a way to take the spotlight off of her, for the rumor she spread, and thought casting other blame on him would accomplish that. She thought he would get talked to and nothing more. These were freshmen and I assume she thought he would get a “detention” or similar that you would see if a high school setting.

In my son’s case everything worked out for the most part. His school work suffered, he lost some friends, he lost a roommate due to the forced move, and we went through a lot of stress, but he was cleared in the end, our ultimate goal. He was fortunate that the allegations against him were public comments where others were able to defend him. Most of the title ix case we hear about are not public events and become he said she said situations where I really do believe the first to report has the air of credibility on their side.

I had a long discussion with the Dean of Students after the situation was resolved, in part to ask the very question this lawsuit raises. In the final report there were multiple witnesses that attested to the accuser treating my son in the same way she was treated with regards to harassment. This was a playful situation on both sides. I asked why a title ix investigation was not opened on my son’s behalf once the accusers actions came to light from multiple sources. I never received an answer but was left with the distinct impression that either anything directed to her involvement would appear retaliatory or that it never crossed the investigators mind that both parties could be equally engaged when only one came forward. This is how title ix can be and is used as a weapon.

42

Sad story, @laparent. I’m glad your son was cleared in the end, but sad that he and you suffered along the way.

I do have an answer about this question, I think:

The final report rightly cleared your son. The investigators discovered the accuser had made the same sort of comments as your son-- but your son was cleared, so why would they want to open another investigation for conduct they had already determined was fine? If your son had been pronounced “responsible,” and the accuser had done the same thing, then the accuser should have been investigated as well.

43

That’s not really Title IX, though, iaparent. That is Title IX + malice on the part of the woman + not very good investigative procedures on the part of the specific Title IX office. This should have been resolved more quickly.

For the woman, it raises the difficulty that she now has a record of filing a false accusation. This would make it difficult for her if she ever actually needed the protections of Title IX.

In a lot of cases, Title IX is almost completely useless. I refer to the case at my university, where a woman accused a man of rape and all that happened was that the two were moved into separate sections (one day a week) of a large course, where they still had the large lectures 3 days a week in common.

Sometimes a person accused within a university under Title IX is exonerated for lack of sufficient evidence, even though guilty.

44

This is such a difficult area (which is one of the reasons why I think colleges should be trying to limit their involvement, not expand it). I don’t trust Caitlin Flanagan at all – her last paragraph sounds like a transcript of something Rush Limbaugh might have said on the air – but I agree with lots of what she says. I also agree, however, with @QuantMech 's very thoughtful post – there is a real problem with nonconsensual sex out there, and on the whole it’s not really being addressed fully by university administrators. That can be true even if more often than is really tolerable some student finds himself (almost always “himself,” notwithstanding the current case) being made an example of in a particularly harsh way in circumstances where most people would think he did little if anything wrong.

45

Well, yeah, but what would you have university administrators do that they’re not doing now?

46

double post

47

Perhaps a big part of the problem is that, in sexual misconduct cases, it is very easy for third parties to fail in investigating and judging cases, both in letting the guilty get away too easily and in letting false or murky accusations harm innocents.

48

@“Cardinal Fang” My question involved early in the process, when the witness statements were taken, why there was no case opened against her. This was very much during the “fact finding” phase and no determination of guilt or innocence had been determined and wouldn’t be for almost 60 more days. My understanding was those in the title ix office were mandatory reporters and upon learning of her actions were mandated to at least open a file, that did not happen.

@QuantMech I agree and that is why I say it can be weaponized. It took a lot to get my son to understand that in the end he was in essence a victim but the school had no choice but to impose the “interim sanctions” that they did, in case the allegations were true, their hands were tied. I think this is one of the many issues with title ix, there is no middle ground for the school to operate in and even in my son’s case where he was found not guilty he still was the one that lost. He was prohibited from moving back to his room and roommate, back among his first friends on campus, just to avoid potential conflicts from something that was never really anything to start.

While the female does have the “boy who cried wolf” hanging over her head I can’t see that future title ix accusations from her would be discounted, the school literally can not afford to doubt any claims she would make given the current status of title ix and school accountability.

49

They’re mandated reporters, but they only are mandated to report conduct they believe is sexual harassment, not conduct they don’t think is sexual harassment.

I don’t get why the disposition of this case took two months, though.

50

This is true. Innocents can also be harmed if colleges adopt a policy of ignoring all sexual harassment/assault cases and letting assaulters and harassers have free rein.

51

All this focus on “mutually nonconsensual sex” obscures the fact that there are many cases where a drunk guy rapes a drunk woman. In these cases, she didn’t consent – not because drunk people can’t consent, but because she did not consent. We can’t throw away all cases where a woman alleges that she was assaulted while she was drunk.

52

Perhaps the question that really needs to be answered is this:

How can third party investigations be made more accurate to catch more of the guilty while avoiding acting too aggressively against those who are falsely accused?

53

The rules that say it’s an offense to have sex with a very drunk person regardless of whether they seem to consent are a (hamhanded, poorly implemented) way of trying to deal with the issue of nonconsensual sex. A lot of the nonconsensual-by-any-definition sex that universities are concerned about happens when students are very drunk.

54

Fundamentally, you can’t. Questions about what happened in a bedroom with closed doors and two people present are inevitably he said she said cases that are impossible to resolve. If you want to expel anyone who has sex with anyone with a BAC of 0.08, that’s easier to prove(witnesses saw someone take four shots in 2 hours).

55

Is there evidence that any college has expelled a student for having sex with another student with BAC of 0.08 or anything close to that?

It’s surprising how much information can be found about an accusation, in some cases, with thorough investigation. I’ve read the Doe/Roe report put out by Pomona College. One can disagree about the disposition of that case, but the authorities knew the facts of the matter when they decided what to do about it. There’s no factual dispute.

56

Again, this is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about cases where sober individuals are in openly acknowledged, long-term relationships that include sex. Long-term relationships don’t always last at that age, but some girlfriends don’t take break-ups well. Some girls are retaliating against their former boyfriends by filing Title IX cases against them.

These aren’t cases of casual encounters that involved alcohol that devolve into he said/she said situations. These are relationships that went on for months – sometimes over the course of a year or two – and didn’t include alcohol. At all. The consequences for breaking up with a girl shouldn’t be expulsion from college, yet that’s what’s happening. Investigations need to be handled by police, and accused students deserve to have the same rights the rest of us would have in similar circumstances. Colleges aren’t qualified to try rape cases.

57

One of my college roommates went back for his PhD in 1990. He had to go through a whole new student orientation. He told me, at the time, about the “two drink rule;” if someone had more than two drinks, they were not necessarily capable of giving consent and expulsion was likely if someone lodged a complaint. I don’t know if or how this was implemented at the time. He had graduated in 1986 and we were unaware of any directive like this during our undergrad days.

I thought it was worth noting that this is not a new development at colleges. That was 28 years ago.

58

In one of the prior cases that’s been discussed here, the Title IX office found for the plaintiff on multiple grounds. I don’t remember which one. However, the Title IX office decided the victim was incapable of giving consent because she had three drinks. On that basis, they said the case would still be rape, even if the Doe version of events was factual.

59

Two drinks even three drinks is an unreasonable rule. When I read stuff like that I just think university administrators have lost their marbles.

60

Hmm. Valid point by @austinmshauri.

Guys shouldn’t have sex or even relationships with schoolmates. It’s sad that it has come to this, but this is the current environment.