I don’t drink wine…so inviting me over for wine would be for the person doing the inviting. And truthfully, new friends have found it embarrassing when I ask for a glass of water.
I would take some sort of baked good, with a nice note welcoming to the neighborhood. Just give it to them. You don’t need to be invited in to share it or anything like that. It is your gesture that counts.
Ours is a very small neighborhood, and we usually know something about the neighbor’s before they move in. If they are from out of the area, I have a word doc with local retail establishments (grocery, restaurants, pharmacies, Target, etc) and I give that also.
The point isn’t the gift. Sure, some people don’t drink wine, but some people don’t eat baked goods or chocolate. The point is the gesture. No one is going to be annoyed with you if you give them something that they themselves don’t eat or drink. Just be warm and welcoming and offer to help in whatever way you can.
You also have to read the vibe of the people. New people just moved in next door (it is their vacation home), and I made a few friendly gestures – waves, saying hello while they were unloading stuff in the garage – and it is clear that they are not interested in chatting or in getting friendly with the neighbors when they are using the home. It would feel very pushy to show up on their doorstep with wine or a cake.
It is understandable that some people are naturally not very much into interacting with people other than their immediate family members or very close friends, especially during their “off” time.
I actually heard that for many people, they feel more relaxed when they eat their lunch alone in their cubical or office. Even eating lunch with colleagues could be “stressful” for them even when they do not talk about work during lunch break. (At our company, it is almost a universal rule that people should not talk about anything related to work during lunch break. Talking about wedding or sport or vacation is fine. For a certain group of people, even talking about child’s education is a taboo – unless everyone just “smiles and nods.” Who knows. Maybe some day even CCers will not be able to comfortably discuss any topics related to college admissions, and college or high school education! (Don’t you think you prefer to be in Parent Cafe rather than Parent Forum when your kids are no longer in high school or college?’!)
When we moved into our current home (over 25 years ago) a neighbor came over to welcome us with a bag of apples they had picked. It was a very nice gesture (we are still neighbors and friendly). So, I vote for something edible and give them you name and phone number to call to find out local information.
@VeryHappy I agree that GIVING anything is a nice gesture. My point is…inviting folks you don’t know for wine could be awkward…and this has happened to me more than once.
Sure…give a bottle of wine, chocolates, baked goods, a nice card…whatever. Give it and visit for a short time…and walk away, you don’t need to know what the new neighbors DO with your gift. if they toss it, or put it down the drain…or regift it…not your business.
I’ve lived in my house 20+ years - moved in when I was pregnant. I have never been past the front hall in any of my neighbors" houses nor they in mine. We chat - outside - with one or two neighbors across the street, along the lines of “is it hot enough for you.” We say hi to others when we walked the dog. I am very private IRL and just felt that my career and my kids was enough to occupy my time. I can sense when people want to make deeper connections but honestly I just haven’t felt as though I had the time to invest In it. It would be promising a level of friendship I couldn’t deliver if I came over with a home baked cake.
A little off topic but…
Re: giving phone numbers of reliable help…
When we moved into our home (many, many moons ago), the previous residents had left a list of the people they used for service, maintenance etc. of the home as well as user manuals for the appliances (as well as the month/year of purchase). What a helpful gesture, and if we should ever move from this house, we will do the same to the next owners. They also left a very welcoming note and a bottle of champagne.
We did a similar thing @ClaremontMom except we left a plant for the outside yard, and a nice note.
We live in a very small neighborhood. We have several neighborhood events a year…an Oktoberfest that one fami,y does, a holiday event that another family does. And a picnic at our beach for all.
We aren’t all close friends, but we all know each other well, and do take turns watching houses when neighbor’s are away…and pets too.
Our kids grew up together, and its been fun to watch them all grow into young adults (some are still younger).
Not every neighborhood is like this…but there are only 14 houses!
I think that stopping by with some small housewarming present is nice. I would go with a smallish flowering plant. At this time of year around here, primroses and planted bulbs are starting to appear, even though we have several more months of winter.
I’d be prepared to just drop it off or come in briefly, depending on whether they invite you.
I completely appreciate the gesture of a home made baked good and would see it as incredibly kind. I would just not eat what ever was prepared. So I would have to come up with something lame like, thank you so much that was very kind but I am allergic to such and such or I would be throwing it away. No doubt that I would appreciate the graciousness and generosity.
@GreatKid are you seriously saying you would tell the person giving you a housewarming present that you were going to throw it away? Why would you do that? Sorry, but I think that is inconsiderate.
I don’t drink wine. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve received it as a gift. I politely say “thank you” and that is it. I don’t add anything else.
Oh good grief. I’m with thumper. Why wouldn’t you just accept the gift graciously and then when they were gone, throw it away? Why on earth would you actually tell them you don’t plan on eating it?
You all misunderstood! Of course I wouldn’t tell them I would be throwing it away! That is incredibly rude and that wouldn’t have even occurred to me! I would have graciously thanked them and if I couldn’t think of a polite reason to have them keep it I would throw the item away without them being aware and would likely tell them a white lie about how delicious the item was the next time I saw them.
You guys need to retract the claws!
IF you couldn’t “think of a polite reason to have them keep it.” Why would you even suggest to them that they should keep it? Why would that ever be appropriate?
Right…I’m with PG. you just take the gift. You don’t try to give it back to the folks who are offering it. You can pitch it after they leave…but when a gift is offered, the polite thing to do is say “thank you”, and accept it.
What you do after the folks leave is up to you.
I’m quite sure some of the bottles of wine I’ve given as gifts have been tossed. Remember, I don’t drink wine…so I’m really guessing when I pick out a bottle. But would be mighty insulted if someone said “gee…why don’t you just take this back with you because I won’t be able to use it.”
I have a friend who doesn’t drink, but I didn’t know that. She moved into a new house (during a trial separation from her DH that turned into a divorce), and I brought her a bottle of wine when I went to see her new place. She refused to take the wine since she doesn’t drink, but then the next time I saw her she apologized and said she realized she had been rude. I was fine with it all, because she was a good friend, but next time I brought her something I made sure it was something she would enjoy.