Even though this is phrased as “asking”, the types of requests and manner in which such asking was done is such it comes across loud and clear as demands…and some go beyond reasonable as they breach reasonable boundaries(1, 2, 4).
Whether one makes one’s bed, straightens up his/her side of the room, or washes one’s sheets less frequently than once a week(only exception is if it actually does start to smell) is none of a roommate’s damned business!!!
Even if the request is reasonable it sets a bad precedent for future roommate interactions if D doesn’t nip the dictatorial and boundary breeching manner of said roommate in the bud by putting her on notice such a communication style is UNACCEPTABLE.
One older college classmate didn’t learn this lesson as an undergrad unfortunately and ended up having serious issues in the workplace(getting fired for antagonizing others/being demanding/argumentative) and grad school. With the latter, while the Prof conceded his point was correct and sound, the tone and manner in which he communicated it was so antagonizing and disrespectful it violated university rules on treating other members of the university community with respect and civility.
In short, while a few of the roommate’s “requests” may be reasonable, other types of requests and the manne/tone in which they were communicated is certainly not and would rub me and most college-aged students…especially young males the wrong way.
Some of us may take such umbrage at the type of requests and manner/tone that we may actually end up doing the exact opposite of what said demanding roommate “requested” to hint that manner/tone of communicating is unacceptable and won’t get what he/she wants. There’s also a school of thought that one shouldn’t reward such manner/tone of communicating by going along with such demands and that doing so would be as an older neighbor puts it “pulling a Neville Chamberlain”.
Same here. A retort would be along the lines of “Who died and made you the dad/mom/dictator of our room?!!”
And there would have been an added insult to injury in my case as few students at my or many other private colleges are going through college without any parental tuition/expense assistance and paying part of the tuition directly from his summer/part-time earnings as I did.
I’d probably add I may consider accommodating such requests provided said roommate/his parents wanted to take care of the portion of tuition/dorm/fees I was paying myself. 