<p>Add me to the list of ‘this is a really tacky idea’.
If I received an invite with a note about a registry in it (for a grad party), I’d just ignore it. If I’d planned to give, then I would give whatever I wanted to give. I’d rather not have ‘help’ in deciding.</p>
<p>I first heard about this type of “party” in the local paper. They did a story on a young lady who bounced from group homes during high school, and before that lived with friends or on the street. She became associated with the homes because of the guidance counselor who enrolled her in the CNA program which school district paid. She is attending a university about 90 minutes away for nursing and will try to furnish her dorm herself. The university offered her a mixture of aid some grants, scholarships and of course loans. The director of the group home was close to her, and mention they would have a trunk party. Anyone was able to donate new or gently used dorm items. I was tempted to go donate my fridge because I do not live in a dorm anymore. She went to my last high school and I am sure she will struggle to furnish her dorm unless the community came together.</p>
<p>In the end I decided not to donate it because the fridge stopped working on me twice when I lived in the dorms.</p>
<p>Truthfully, since I live in an area where graduation parties run all summer and are primarily meant to give grads money, I would appreciate other options besides the obligatory cash gifts. I know that families in my area really count on the monetary gifts but it would be nicer to give them something like towels or something for the office.</p>
<p>Perhaps it would be helpful to relatives in need of gift ideas. But it would be crazy to expect parents of hs friends to participate… their priority needs to be helping to launch their own kid.</p>
<p>Mercifully, trunk parties haven’t caught on in my neck of the woods. However, I do feel that they’re not over the top if given instead of a graduation party and not in addition to one. Likewise, they can be apt events if the guest-of-honor comes from a disadvantaged background or is the first in his or her family to head to college and could truly benefit from the extra boost that this event will provide.</p>
<p>BUT … here’s my question: </p>
<p>Where are these parties most prevalent? Is there a geographic hotbed of them? How about demographics … are they most common among students from particular racial or ethnic communities? socioeconomic? Or should we expect to find them pretty much everywhere in the decade to come?</p>
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The Couch Party…love it! </p>
<p>Why is phase of life a sales opportunity? Because we are a materialistic “gimme” society. Many kids have wanted for nothing, so the expectation that they will be showered with gifts at every stage of life isn’t so odd.</p>
<p>Graduation parties at which gifts are given are uncommon around here. Some of the kids held parties, and their friends went and hung out. No parents involved, and no gifts, to my knowledge. I’ve never heard of a “trunk party.” It seems tacky beyond belief. Not to mention impractical: given the size of dorm rooms these days, where two kids are often packed into a space intended for one, or three into a space intended for two, how can they fit all this “stuff” into the room? </p>
<p>Graduation is the one time that most people I know seem to give a check, if they give anything, since most kids are strapped for cash, not sheets and towels. (S received UNSOLICITED cash gifts from a few close relatives. S didn’t want a party, and neither did any of his closest friends.)</p>
<p>I did give a friend’s D a set of Spode mugs years ago when she graduated. She was heading off to my alma mater. That’s actually the only graduation gift I’ve ever given. It just isn’t a big thing around here, at least among people I’m friends with.</p>
<p>I used to enjoy shopping for gifts because I was choosing something for the recipient. I dislike unsolicited gift requests/suggestions. So, lately, cash has been my gift even though I feel it’s very impersonal. (I’m sure my kids would disagree.)</p>
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<p>Same here. I have always found the idea of graduation parties where people are expected to bring gifts a bit tacky, to be honest. I can’t think of one of my 5 Ds who knew anyone who had one. Celebrating graduation from high school, college, grad school, law school, med school, etc., is, in my opinion, a family celebration and doesn’t automatically mean the giving of a gift. </p>
<p>I’ve never heard of anyone having a trunk party and my guess is that most here won’t have either.</p>
<p>There was a family at our church that put a coffee can decorated like some animal in the foyer of the church with a sign that said: “Karen’s going to Princeton. Please help feed the pig and pay her tuition.” I think that both the coffee can and the trunk party are extremely tacky. Begging is never really acceptable, and if I want to contribute to charity I’ll contribute to efforts that feed children in the developing world, not efforts to purchase Target bean bag chairs for graduating seniors.</p>
<p>Only in NY…</p>
<p>I have given BBBY gift cards to kids or nice bracelets to girls I’m close with when they graduate HS, but that’s quite rare. D1 didn’t get anything, not even a card, from family members besides my mother when she graduated HS.</p>
<p>Trunk parties are not common in our area. There are tons of grad parties but none of the kids bring gifts. There are farewell get-togethers though right before a recent HS grad goes to college. My daughter and her friends created tack boards for each other filled with memorable HS photos.</p>
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<p>This reminds me back when my daughter was in middle school. One of her teachers in a private Catholic school informed his class that for Christmas gifts he only accepts American Eagle gift cards.</p>
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<p>A lot of folks seem to be saying this (me included). Yet, if you look up “Trunk Party” on Google, you’ll get the impression that they rock on in plenty of places.</p>
<p>So where are these places?</p>
<p>I’m with a previous poster that this could be a good idea if the graduate has a large extended family that always brings presents and doesn’t want repeat/wasted gifts. Sure, requesting gifts like this isn’t the classiest thing, but it beats being given a fridge that doesn’t even meet dorm guidelines. As long as it is clear that gifts are optional (especially for fellow grads!) I don’t see much of a problem.</p>
<p>It makes more sense than registries for bridal showers nowadays anyways. Most of the time, at least from what I’ve seen, the women have lived on their own or with their fiances for a while and have what they need for the house. I feel like the trunk parties may start to catch on because going to college has become more of a common rite of passage, and if the high school graduates are already getting gifts, it’s not much of a step up. Personally, I would never have one- I went out to dinner with my extended family, and they gave me money although I never asked- but each to their own.</p>
<p>I’d never heard of a trunk party till reading about it here. However, I have a friend in Chicago who’s having one for her daughter and said they have several to go to. I guess it’s regional. It seems the difference between this and a grad party is that at grad parties gifts aren’t always expected and at a trunk party guests are expected to bring a dorm gift.</p>
<p>My D (HS class of 2011) was invited to several “trunk parties” of her graduating classmates who had registered at various stores. I was a bit surprised at the idea but didn’t find it particularly tacky. Not much different than a grad party if you ask me. </p>
<p>We live in Chicago and all of the trunk parties she was invited to happened to be for African American grads (male & female). Not sure if that is the only or primary location/demographic having these trunk shindigs, but that was our experience.</p>
<p>Who doesn’t bring a present to a grad party? Other than the Grad’s friends.</p>
<p>What bugs me the most, is the gross commercialization of this dorm business. And why should people spend so much money on it? After all, we’re talking about an already furnished place, tiny at that. With the exception of extra-long sheets, most households already have all the necessities needed to furnish a dorm room. But no – the geniuses at BBB and Target decided these necessities need to be brand new and in cool funky colors. And most girls (and their parents) follow the marketers like sheep. (I say girls, because boys tend to be saner about this.)</p>
<p>Sorry this trunk party thing bothers me. I mean presents aren’t expected at the grad party but they are at the trunk party, which is the reasoning? Seriously! </p>
<p>We went to a grad party this year, it was pretty big, catered affair. In disclosure, neither of my kids had a party so I’m not privy to this information. Anyways, I heard this kid got $4000! My kids had summers during college where they made less.</p>
<p>Why make your kids work? Just throw them parties so other people give them enough stuff and money to buy their beer and late night munchies.</p>
<p>I agree with disliking the commercialization of dorm stuff, and the trunk party seems like an extension of this.
I have given some students- who truly need it- graduation gifts that would help with this- gift cards, a gift certificate to their college bookstore- and stuff they would not have extra cash for, like Starbucks gift cards. A trunk party would feel contrived- especially if the student’s family can afford the dorm stuff. The students I know who could not would feel embarrassed by one.</p>