The day that my mom was moved from Assisted Living to the Nursing Home, a nurse asked my brother and I what would we want done if she goes into cardiac arrest. Mom was 88 at the time and her dementia was pretty severe. I said to do nothing. My brother got upset and claimed that I wanted her to die. I pulled him out into the hallway and said “today Mom is better than she will be on any day for the rest of her life. She will never get any better.” He told me to do what I wanted. Fortunately, my wonderful cousin who is an RN stopped by and I had her talk to him. She told him that CPR was violent and undoubtably some of her ribs would break piercing her heart or lungs. Then what would he want done?
2 years later when we were together preplanning her funeral, he told me that I was right. He said that he had no clue that she would get to where she was.