<p>The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but sometimes’s it’s a bad apple. It’s unfair to always think a spoiled child is the direct result of a questionable upbringing. Some kids are so headstrong, they’re going do what they want, and are determined to have their way. That’s the impression I’m getting from this case here. The parents have been very dignified and keep saying the daughter is welcome home if she follows the rules. She’s 18. She has no business drinking, staying out all night, etc. She’s free to live her life the way she chooses, but not on someone else’s dime. </p>
<p>She already lost the first round of this trial. Hopefully she’ll lose the rest. </p>
<p>The father’s comments strike me as a sarcastic and possibly an understandable reaction to someone he views as a “bad influence”…especially if the parents’ allegations about the Kitzmiller family being overly permissive in permitting their son and his daughter to attend alcohol laden parties and allegedly interfering with his parental efforts to discipline his daughter by having her take inventory at his office by facilitating her running away to their house. </p>
<p>Especially considering Canning’s behavior and those alleged of the Kitzmiller family/son and the reputation for widespread alcohol laden parties permitted by parents of HS aged kids in NNJ I’ve heard about from relatives who lived/still live in the area would seriously be beyond the pale in my extended family or most families of classmates at my Catholic HS. We’d consider this a sign the given teen is out of control, not “normal teen behavior” and act accordingly. </p>
<p>One sign of this alcohol-fueled partying culture I saw while visiting some relatives was seeing large piles of empty beer cans and wine cooler bottles strewn in a wilderness path/woods behind their house. They related that area is a known favored hangout for HS teens with such inclinations and despite frequent calls to the local authorities by themselves and neighbors, not much has changed since they moved there 40+ years ago.</p>
<p>CSIHSIS I raised that question earlier in my first post to this forum. Even if the University extended the offer of admission knowing about her suspension and losing leadership roles on campus - it seems they would be foolish to invite this kind of chaos onto campus without some very compelling reason. </p>
<p>I suspect that the young lady probably failed to disclose to prospective colleges any demotions or school-related penalties imposed on her for violating policy. Which would mean they have an easy reason to withdraw offer of admission based on her lack of forthrightness. In other words, she’s a liar, and that doesn’t speak well as to her character. </p>
<p>Alternatively, if she did fully disclose her past history and was admitted anyway, then I would think the school could still rescind based simply on information obtained after acceptance (like the fact that she’s in a bitter feud with her parents which resulted in lawsuit). Once you’ve sued your parents, no one is safe. </p>
<p>If I were a school, I’d also wonder about whether I’d be paid in a timely manner. It seems like this child could definitely end up very short of any resources she may wish to have–for the last term of her HS or college. If I were a U, I’d be concerned about her ability to pay and the notoriety she’d being to my U</p>
<p>I read that she was already accepted to several colleges, but that was before this public brouhaha. ( although arent most schools just notifying now for students who did not apply ED?)
I have stated before that I think virtually every student could benefit from a gap year, but I admit this scenario never crossed my mind.
A year volunteering in Haiti or New Orleans could do wonders for Rachels ability to make the most out of college, or living on her own and paying for rent instead of gas & movie tickets.</p>
<p>I’m sure there were issues between parents and child, some serious ones, but unless they fall into what constitutes “abuse” under the law, too bad. I’ve said some rough things to my kids, and must admit, that my tongue is sharper than theirs, but they’ve done some foolish things that could have had dire consequences. </p>
<p>As for colleges knowing, it appears that many of the schools are state schools, such as UDE, and they would unlikley to be matching up news stories with applicants, many of their acceptances are out already, and there is no requirement for the student or anyone to tell the college about this fracas. She’s not being accused or is convicted of a crime. This is a family dispute that has gone public. </p>
<p>‘MURICA!!!
Honestly, there are many countries where any judge you brought this case to would have you forcibly removed from the court. To me (and I’m sure to many internationals), this is simply hilarious. I don’t even think you’re allowed to sue your parents in my country - you’d all just get shipped off for counseling or whatever.
Still, sadly it has gotten this far. And as a teenager who attended a Catholic school I can say that Rachel is being ridiculous. You can’t eat your cake and have it - either you live with your parents and enjoy the privileges (and suffer the obligations) therein, or you move out and lose both privileges and obligations. No matter the other strings in the case (except there is abuse involved, in which case she would become a ward of the state I guess), that is all. And she’s 18, so her parents’ legal obligations (but not necessarily their moral ones) towards her are nil. If she is demanding that they fulfill their moral obligation to raise their child right, then
(1) she has no business in court, and
(2) they should be allowed to fulfill that obligation in its totality, including setting reasonable house rules she should be prepared to keep.</p>
<p>@momofthreeboys I might get crucified here…but I think the parents are very unloving and overly rigid. Come on how many parents raising girls have not approved of the boyfriend? How many parents of teens had to deal with alcohol issues? Sorry I would never give up on my kids that quickly. I have faith in them and I want what is best. I would have settled this a long time ago before it made it to court…its not like she was shooting heroin and skipping school and committing crimes. She is basically a good kid who is going through some growing pains and the parents don’t know how to be parents. Jeez good thing my mother stuck by my decades ago and never stopped compromising and guiding I was trouble with a capital T. </p>
<p>I don’t really think I would be okay with my high school daughter moving in with her boyfriend’s family, whether I approved of the boyfriend or not. Who gave up on whom here? The girl was not kicked out.</p>
<p>I don’t see the father’s remarks as even faintly incriminating. Apparently she HAD done just about everything else, and it sounds like the BF and his family were indeed a bad influence. The BF’s mother might want to try to cast herself as an injured party, but if she was giving parties with booze for HS kids…or just closing her eyes to it…sorry honey.</p>
<p>BTW, regarding an earlier post re grading scales at Catholic HSs vs public, our public HS uses the same grading scale as the poster’s Catholic school. An A- starts at 93 or thereabouts. Not at all uncommon.</p>
<p>Personally, I suspect the aim is to get Rachel college $. If the court holds that Rachel isn’t entitled to her college savings plan or other support, she has a better claim that she is emancipated and IMO it increases the odds that some school will give her fin aid without taking parental income and assets into consideration.</p>
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<p>I don’t think appearing on talk radio and giving numerous interviews is “dignified.” Rachel has not spoken to the press; her parents have–repeatedly. </p>
<p>If you think it’s okay to call a young man a “scumbag’” to his face and in front of his mother and to call your D a “foul name” in front of a teacher…we definitely have different definitions of “very dignified.” </p>
<p>That doesn’t sound very nice but those things and many more are not at all unusual during heated emotional arguments. It’s not dignified but it’s also not the point. They don’t owe her college for any reason. No parent owes a kid college. It’s a gift. This lawsuit is silly and she will lose. And, she should.</p>
<p>As I’ve said before, I don’t think a court will force her parents to pay for college. However, if she loses, there’s a better chance that some college will treat her as “emancipated” and give her enough fin aid to attend college. </p>
<p>I don’t think the law suit is “silly” if it accomplishes that. </p>
<p>n fact, if this goes to trial—I hope it doesn’t—the judge may rule that she is emancipated. If he does, then she won’t have to file the FAFSA with parental income.</p>
<p>Moreover, I was responding to posts which said Rachel was a spoiled brat because of the voice mail and emal messages she sent her parents. I think they are truly awful, but HER conduct is also more understandable if this is the kind of language her parents use towards her. </p>
<p>That’s interesting. Aren’t there more dignified ways to become emancipated at 18, though? Other posters seem to be questioning whether any school would want her at all after this episode. It doesn’t make her look good, either. We’ll see.</p>
<p>Who would leave a girl who’s been acting out, suspended, alcohol, eating disorder issues, misused your credit card, still refusing to drop a questionable boyfriend, bullied her younger sisters…for 5 days alone to manage the house - so you and your wife can take a trip to Las Vegas? I know there were people “watching” the house but not direct supervision - parents didn’t want to bring in grandfather since his rules wouldn’t mesh well with what the girls are used to? That’s the part of the story that makes me question the parents. I don’t think by any stretch that any of this is dignified - no party here is blameless.</p>
<p>It is always a matter of degrees. A boyfriend who likes that new fangled rock and roll music - okay, tolerate it. The smell of alcohol on prom night, okay, have the discussion, be happy that they weren’t driving. Deal with it. What has been alleged in this case is an entirely different matter.</p>
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They didn’t give up. They set rules, tried to remove her from bad influences, went the counciling route, etc.</p>
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<p>What?. Kids who did what she did, leave the type of messages she left and sue their parents for money that is not theirs is not normally considered being a good kid. </p>