<p>If you’re blessed to be in a position where you can afford the more expensive option without the student/parents incurring loans, the decision is much harder to make but probably less painful. If you simply can’t afford the more expensive elite school without heavy loans, the decision should make itself.</p>
<p>With our kids, we’ve told them how much we have to put towards their college costs. Any school that falls within the price range is open to consideration. We consider that money to be “theirs” and already spent as far as Mrs Wolverine and I are concerned. We cannot afford full-pay at any school, so merit money is a must for any “live away from home” options. If they choose a school where their undergrad doesn’t exhaust their money, it can be put towards grad school/car/nest egg etc. D1’s stats made her competitive for nearly any school in the country, but she opted for an OOS state flagship with NMF money and will graduate completely debt free (at least for undergrad 
). She loves her choice and wouldn’t change it for anything. D2 and S are beginning their searches, and won’t even consider schools where significant merit money isn’t possible. I could handle being the “bad guy” if I had to, but it’s much simpler to take non-viable schools off the list before we reach that point.</p>