<p>For me drinking in a business setting is limited to specific situations. If I am out with a client or prospective client I am only drinking if they are - usually I am hosting so the question is posed before anything is ordered. Another instance would be joining a colleague for a drink after work so I would only be doing that with others that drink socially. If there is a group lunch with only work colleagues no one drinks . </p>
<p>I don’t judge you if you drink or if you don’t drink. Our family likes wine and beer and the occasional margarita or martini. My SIL is very judgemental of all of us that drink at family functions, but she’s got her own problems so I don’t judge her.</p>
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<p>Seems like your statement indicates someone is being rigid and righteous about others’ drinking, and it is not the one who does not drink, who is only making a personal choice. (And many drinkers do appreciate the presence of a non-drinker who can drive them home.)</p>
<p>^Yes, I do believe there is some rigidity in many business settings, along the lines of “the customer is always right” type of thinking. Again, my suggestion was specifically framed for those who don’t drink due to the taste, for business events where alcohol is being served. </p>
<p>Sorry, Double post from phone…</p>
<p>“I think a lot of people don’t consider the decision of whether to drink or not drink to be a big deal, any more than they would ponder whether to go to movies, or to eat meat. If they come from a background where these activities are normal, there is no big decision to be made. It’s a different story, of course, if you come from a family where these things aren’t normal–and even more so if they are forbidden.”</p>
<p>As someone who made the decision to stop eating meat as an adult (not for health reasons), even though I come from a very heavy meat-eating culture, I guess I do ‘ponder’ a lot of different things, not just take it for granted that if a culture or a family does it, it’s a given.</p>
<p>I do think the decision to drink or not drink is a more serious one than going to the movies or eating meat. It does have an effect on how you think and act and feel (everything does, of course, but alcohol more so). It does change your state of mind. That’s why it’s not appealing to me personally. I know that’s exactly the appeal of it to some people. So I will honestly admit I am curious as to why people choose to or not to drink.</p>
<p>By the way, a lot of people ask me why I don’t eat meat, and a lot of people I don’t know well ask me why I don’t drink, so I don’t think there is anything wrong to be curious the other way around.</p>
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<p>Y’know who I’d view less favorably? Not the Mormon who doesn’t drink for religious reasons. Not the recovering alcoholic who wisely stays away from drinking. Not the person who doesn’t care for alcohol. Not the person who isn’t drinking tonight because they will be driving. No, those people are making personal decisions.</p>
<p>The one I’d judge unfavorably is the person who urges people to drink when they’ve already said they don’t want to. </p>
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<p>Not drinking alcohol apparently is not a disqualifier to running a major private equity firm or becoming governor of a state with relatively high alcohol consumption.</p>
<p>What CF said. I will add: or a non-drinker who starts a sermon about the dangers of alcohol instead of politely declining when offered a glass of wine at a business dinner or a party. </p>
<p>CF,
Why create an issue that is not being discussed? I made a suggestion to consider. I am not forcing a drink down anyone’s throat. I’d think the worst of all your examples is the person incapable of refusing, once he decides that is his course of action. </p>
<p>I agree, Bunsen. I think less of both the sanctimonious sermonizers and the rude alcohol-urgers. </p>
<p>If you are entertaining clients from South Korea or are doing business in South Korea, you better drink and drink a lot!! </p>
<p>CF,
Have you encountered many alcohol-urgers in your life? I have not, obviously because I imbibe. I didn’t think there was much urging anymore based on my kids’ reports that NO ONE CARES if you drink or not at their colleges. (I used all caps because they always say it that way when I ask. ). Here in CA where everyone drives, not drinking while out is pretty common and not questioned. </p>
<p>If a South Korean wants my business, maybe he needs to lay off when we’re together.</p>
<p>“If a South Korean wants my business, maybe he needs to lay off when we’re together”</p>
<p>I agree, which basically supports the OP’s position of extending yourself in business situations. And if you are looking for Korean business you would be careful who you chose to entertain them. The issue really is not about alcohol at all, it is about making the human connection.</p>
<p>I have definitely encountered a lot of alcohol urgers in my life, including my stepfather. Drinking was pretty over the top in my parents’ social crowd and he made very strong drinks and really pushed refills. I never do that. </p>
<p>I entertain fellow employees (much junior to me) a few times a year at informal dinners out. There are maybe 3 plus me in attendance. They are thrilled when I order a beer or glass of wine so they can follow suit! Of course, some choose iced tea or soda, which is also fine. I never push it. </p>
<p>Look in the mirror, Bay. You’re urging people to drink when they’ve said they don’t care for alcohol.</p>
<p>i think it is very poor form to “push” alcohol on anyone. You offer once and take the answer at it’s face value. I feel the same way about food. Have you ever had someone insist on re-filling your plate when you have expressed you are satisfied? Very awkward as you then feel an obligation to finish what they have served even though you are no longer hungry. This is usually done by someone who really self identifies with their home cooking so you feel even worse.</p>
<p>CF
If I suggest you eat green vegetables even if you don’t like them, is that inappropriate “urging?” I guess we use the term differently. </p>
<p>Bay is expressing the opinion that being a teetotaler may have negative impacts in some business situations. I don’t fault Bay for expressing this view, although I think it is mostly obsolete these days. I am noticing that more and more CEOs are pursuing more healthy lifestyles in general, and they wouldn’t bat an eyelash at somebody who doesn’t drink. These male CEOs are eating salads and declining to eat dessert. Times have changed in this respect.</p>