@jym626 I would be short $3500 and I don’t know if MHC would bridge the gap with grants.
Chelsea, you have nothing to lose by asking MHC. I read on another thread that they increased another student’s grant when she asked. I believe it was similar amount. You just need to be polite, and do not hold back any of the information or feel badly asking. Remember you are not doing anything wrong by asking: you are only telling them the truth of the situation. Tell them you would LOVE to attend and absolutely will if it’s financially do-able (if that is true), explain about your Dad and the difficult family dynamics, and explain that you cannot attend if the grant is not increased this amount. The worst they can say is no!
Agree with stacyneil.
“Surely, if my mom can support herself, me, and my brother on $45,000, my dad can support himself on $51,000. He can depend on his girlfriend’s income too… If my mom can contribute $3,500, so can he.”
You really don’t know this.
In the first place, your mother is supporting herself and your brother, not you; you already said that neither of your parents have been supporting you in college, you’re on a full ride.
In the second place, your mother is supporting herself and your brother on $45k PLUS your Dad’s child support, and he is supporting himself on $51k MINUS child support he still pays for your brother. Maybe your Mom has a good bit more cash available than your Dad has.
In the third place, you also said he doesn’t have retirement savings or a retirement plan. Doesn’t he desperately need to address that?
In the fourth place, unless he has gone over his finances, including all his debts and monthly obligations, in detail with you, you do NOT know his financial health. What debts does he have? What does he have to pay every month? If he cannot afford t put anything away for retirement, why do you think he would suddenly be able to give you money (and why should your transferring colleges be a higher priority for him than retirement savings?)
In the fifth place, if he has intermingled his finances with his girlfriend, why should she (in effect) subsidize you transferring colleges? (And is her income even dependable? They could break up tonight for all you know.)
Your Dad already said he cannot afford to pay for a transfer for you, please try to understand what he is quite plainly saying: you can NOT expect money from him. No amount of conjecture or reasoning or cajoling on your part is likely to change this. You asked, he answered; you just don’t like the answer.
@FCCDAD My mom is supporting me in that she pays for my health insurance, my grocery bill, etc. I live at home, so my only expense is gas for my car.
I just wanted to let everyone know that I was accepted to the University of Richmond, but I haven’t received my financial aid package yet.
Congratulations!!! Crossing my fingers for good FA! 
@dodgersmom Thanks!
great news!
@jym626 It is. I should receive my financial aid package on Wednesday.
I’m still hoping that Mount Holyoke will work, but Richmond’s great too.
good luck!
Hey everyone. I received my financial aid package in the mail.
The total cost of attendance is $61,370.
I received $36,760 in grant money ($5,814 more than what I got from MHC). I am eligible for a $7,500 Stafford Loan ($5,500 subsidized and $2,000 unsubsidized) and received a $1,500 work-study ($600 less than what I got from MHC.)
My award total was $45,760. So, after loans and my work-study, I have to pay $15,610.
My mom did tell me this morning that she will contact her attorney to try to enforce the decree.
I am scheduling a job interview this afternoon in hopes that I can get a second job; therefore, I believe I can contribute $6,000 of my savings. This means my parents will (hopefully) both pay $4,805.
I learned last night that my parents don’t think that my attending MHC or Richmond is a good opportunity. Rather, they see that I’ve worked hard to earn those acceptance letters.
I did email Mount Holyoke about increasing my financial aid award. If I could take out a $2,000 unsubsidized loan (since I’m getting one from Richmond) and they could increase the amount of the need-based grant by $2,700, it would be the same price as Richmond.
I hope you can figure this out. I’m rooting for you.
I’ll try to put this as politely as I can: asking your parents to take whatever money they might have and pay it to their attorneys to litigate is NOT likely to produce more money for you in the end than they have already told you they can give. And if what you told us before is correct, the Judge is likely to find that your father has fully met his legal obligations for college support.
There is a legal topic called “standing” that you should familiarize yourself with. That means you must have suffered some harm before you can bring a civil suit. That means that if you have not already transferred schools, your case would be dismissed for lack of standing because you haven’t suffered any harm yet. The Courts will not look forward in time and hear a case based on an expected harm in the future.
So, say you transfer, then after YOU incur your tuition and fees and room and board and other associated bills, you (not your Mom, she isn’t suffering any harm) try to sue your Mom AND Dad to pay for it. (Even if you try to just attack Dad, he’ll bring Mom in as a co-Defendant because she is equally obligated.)
His first defense is that he told you ahead of time he could not support you with more money for a transfer, and that he met all his obligations while you were still at your present school. So, unless you have a contract or order that says they must each pay half the actual costs wherever you go to school, you will LOSE. If it actually says they must pay half the costs at the school you have been in, then that is all they are each legally required to pay, EVEN IF THAT IS ZERO.
EVEN IF you were wrong about what the order actually says, his next defense is that, considering the four corners of the document, it clearly only contemplated them paying a portion of costs for you attending an in state public school, and does not apply to the unusual costs of the private schools.
Basically, no Judge is likely to find that you acquired the power at age 18 to obligate your parents (Dad AND Mom) to pay more than the original order held them to. If you decide to transfer schools as an adult, that obligates only you, NOT your parents.
And filing a lawsuit would destroy forever any relationship you might have left with your Dad.
(And yes, I am a lawyer, although probably not licensed to practice in your state. You are not my client and I am not providing you legal counsel.)
@FCCDAD - As a long time lurker I will use my first post to say I very much appreciate your insight and advice.
@FCCDAD How is HelloImChelsea obligating them to pay more than they agreed to. They agreed to split the value of tuition at a college she does not attend.
@HelloImChelsea The numbers look tight. How will you pay for next year? Maybe you should take a $6500 Stafford this year.
I’ve been going over this thread to make sure I have the facts straight:
Quoting Post #35: “In my parents’ divorce papers, it says that he will pay half the cost of tuition at MSSU. I don’t know if that still applies if I attend Mount Holyoke or Richmond.”
Quoting post #116: “The decree actually says that my dad will pay half the cost of Missouri State University, which isn’t the university I’m attending. He messed up, though and my mom’s lawyer laughed when she read it.
Missouri State’s cost per credit hour is $205.
I’m not sure about this, because I haven’t read the divorce decree, but my dad said he would pay half of whatever Missouri State didn’t cover.”
If Dad can show the paperwork and negotiations from the time clearly referring to MSSU, then this is simply a typographic error. Is there any outside evidence of which school your parents really meant? (For example, is one of them local to you?) The Parole Evidence rule may come into effect here.
If he cannot show that, then you (NOT your Mom; she’s not the one who has allegedly suffered harm here) could sue them both (they would be co-defendants) for the $6150 (+$455 fees) that 30 credits (standard yearly load) at MSU would cost, but only after you transfer and you have actually incurred the higher costs. You cannot sue them simply on the expectation of transferring if you prevail.
For that matter, does it even say your parents will split the costs? Or does it only say Dad will pay half, without saying Mom will pay anything?
That amount in question, $6600 (for one year) (or $3300 if it only says that Dad, not Mom, will pay half) is not significantly greater than your legal fees would be. But if you succeed in getting a judgment against your parent(s), you’d have to pay the balance of your lawyer’s fees first out of that, then your Mom would probably have to pay you the $6600 judgment, and then she would separately have to sue your Dad herself to recover half of whatever she pays you.
Your Mom cannot sue your Dad directly unless and until, at a minimum, she suffers some harm (such as giving you the money herself); neither parent has actually been paying college costs for you, for two years. And she would have to show that she is paying on Dad’s behalf instead of just supporting you because, you know, she’s your Mom. If she gives you a gift, that does not obligate Dad to reimburse her for half.
If Mom agrees to you transferring, and your Dad does not, that might be outside the scope of the decree - you could be letting your Dad off the hook, legally, if you transfer relying on Mom saying she’ll support you when Dad said he won’t. That’s a change that you and your Mom (two adults), but not your Dad, are agreeing to. If the decree doesn’t mention a transfer, the Judge may find that a transfer invalidates it or is simply not covered.
Legally, exactly what the divorce decree says matters. But the Judge will have to consider the Four Corners of the document, and might not interpret it the way you hope; the Judge might “correct” MSU typo to be MSSU according to the communications at the time, for example. And he may also find it has been modified by agreement of all the parties, by you attending MSSU. Remember, it would not be “Family” Court; you are an adult now, and the custody and support cases pertaining to you were closed two years ago.
“Best” case scenario, you can sue your parents for about $6600/year, combined, but only after you transfer. Which is not enough to cover one year, much less two, even after you max out your loans, if you can even recover the judgment from them.
I’ll mention something else you might not have considered: if your Dad is actually making $51k, as you said, then paying $800/month CS for one child (your brother) is really, really high. That’s almost 1/5 of his gross income, if you are right about his income; on the other hand, if he really only makes $37k as you said he says, that’s more than 1/4 of his gross income, for only one child. He can (and should) petition the Court to reset CS according to state guidelines and his actual income. That could free up thousands of dollars a year, that he could then give to you… but it would come out of the money he’s currently providing to your Mom, to pay for your brother. Maybe they agreed that your brother is still a child and needs that support, and you are an adult with college paid for and don’t need it… or maybe they haven’t directly discussed it at all, maybe they aren’t even aware that he’s paying more than he should.
Your Dad is very probably paying much more than the guidelines say he should in CS for your brother. He has the legal right to challenge that and get it reset. Your Dad says he cannot afford to give you more money; he is living with his girlfriend, and has no healthcare or retirement plan. His finances might be bad in other ways - mortgage on the house he rents out, business debts, etc. - that you aren’t even aware of.
Your Mom is reluctant to litigate again. She clearly does not have any confidence that going to Court would work out for the best. And she probably has a much better understanding of your Dad’s financial situation than you do.
Your parents are right to be very reluctant to litigate anything.
@gearmom I have a job interview this week at a bank and I’m going to increase the hours I work at my on-campus job. If all goes well, I should have at least $8,000 in the bank by the time the bill is due.
Also, MHC did email me back. The award they’ve given me is an estimate because they were missing two documents from my dad’s tax return - the K-1 and the Schedule E. I’m not sure how those will impact my award.
@FCCDad I’m not going to sue to my parents. I’m not that desperate or spoiled.
I believe that both of my parents (especially after seeing my Dad today) want what’s best for me (as most parents do).
They see how hard I’ve worked and they want to help me however they can.
I never doubted that your parents were doing what they could, and that they have your best interests in heart.
I worried because there were so many comments suggesting litigation, and you said your Mom was contacting her attorney.
I am truly sorry if it turns out that there is no feasible way to make the finances work for a transfer. I’m sure your parents will be proud of you, whether you transfer or not.