The most lenient state for drivers ed is TX. Required observation time behind the wheel: 7 hours
Then there’s a vision test and driving test to get a license. There’s insurance coverage if you totally screw up and damage other people’s lives.
There are no qualification requirements for being a parent. Amount of time needed to conceive a child: 7 minutes.
No insurance coverage if u totally screw up and damage your kids’ lives.
*. If my father had not contributed his share to our college costs, I would not have been inclined to facilitate a relationship between him and my kids, and my sister wouldn’t have wanted to have anything to do with him.
*
Wow.
My parents did not plan for us to attend college. I would never have let that lack of foresight to interfere with our relationship, indeed it did not occur to me to do so.
We paid for private school for one kid from K- college graduation, the other from K-2nd grade, guess which kid is estranged?
One of my closest friends is divorced. relatively amicable, wealthy and educated parents. Both parents shared custody and were comfortably able to contribute half and willing to until the child had a falling out with the mother’s live-in boyfriend and wanted to take a break from visitation (it had been joint for years and parents live very close to each other). Mom then decided she would not only not contribute, but she wouldn’t provide information and set out rules for the son that included treating the boyfriend like a parent. Son was having none of it and moved in permanently with Dad (so far). Dad did some things to be able to pay the whole bill (possible but not easy) and did. Son will not see mother and I completely understand why. Money seems to be the issue, but it really isn’t. It’s about the son feeling that his mother doesn’t prioritize his interests. I’m curious to see how it will play out. Parents always got along fine and went to events at the same time, but mother is blaming the father big time and thinks he can resolve it. He can’t and he won’t because the son is over 18, but he is not going to let the son suffer because of the mother’s choices. It’s only recently become messy. Sad.
One of the horrible things I witnessed is a divorced father who told his son in May, AFTER the son had turned down various offers and accepted his first-choice within the agreed-upon budget, that he wouldn’t pay his share.
If the NCP is obligated to pay his or her share but doesnt do so, what happens?
wages can be garnished, etc.
I hope that more child support orders in the future will include support during the college years.
My sister had one of those bad divorces, one where her ex would rather go to jail than give “her” any money. And he did, twice. Before they could grab him a third time he left the state and lived off the grid.
When he got out of prison in his other state, he settled with my sister for $23,000 for 16 years of back child support and tried to re-establish a relationship with his kids. It did not work.
“If the NCP is obligated to pay his or her share but doesnt do so, what happens?”
It depends on who established the ‘fair share.’ If it is a court order that is part of the divorce or custody order, the custodial parent has to try to enforce it. Wages will only be garnished if there is a court order to pay through the courts or if the custodial parent gets a judgment and has it executed (not an easy task).
Often, though, there is no order or obligation for the NCP to do anything or pay anything, so there is nothing to be done. He or she doesn’t even have to complete NCP paperwork.
Magnetron, no one would like to be even close to such disagreeable person.
<<<
My sister had one of those bad divorces, one where her ex would rather go to jail than give “her” any money.
[/QUOTE]
See, that’s what I mean by mentally unhealthy. He’s black and white thinking, he’s not thinking rationally. the money isn’t for her, it’s for the kids. But, he’s so angry and he wants to punish her, so he can’t separate the kids from her in his unhealthy mind.
I’m still trying to see the difference between NCP not being willing to pay the EFC and CP not being willing to pay the EFC.
It’s just as bad, but not as frequent, that CPs refuse to pay their fair share of their children’s college costs.
@GMTplus7 I don’t think the discussion has been about “paying EFC”. I think the discussion has been about helping pay for college (whether that is EFC or not).
and, many CPs may not be able to help “pay” for college, but millions of CPs are at least letting their kids live at home for free while they commute to a local college…which is like a $10k per year contribution. The NCP that isn’t helping, isn’t doing anything to help their child.
The usual estimated cost of letting the student live in the parent’s house tends to be in the $4,000 to $6,000 range (food, utilities, transportation, etc.), but that substitutes for a dorm or near-campus living arrangement that is usually estimated in the $10,000 to $15,000 range. But many parents and students seem to think of that as “$0” cost when comparing with the cost of dorm or near-campus living arrangements.
What I meant is, that when a CP allows a kid to live at home and commute, rather than “cut support” (which is what these non-helping NCPs are doing), then that is preventing the student from having to get an apt or do R&B.
The “actual” costs to the CP isn’t really relevant, nor is the fact that many parents just think of that cost as “0”.
This is one of the sad aspects of when the NCP doesn’t help, even when the student is commuting from the CP’s home. The CP has all of the burden to provide shelter, electricity, maybe health plan, some food, etc.
The CP is in a more difficult situation. The non-supportive NCP doesn’t have to say, “move out at 18”…the child is already conveniently “out”. The CP would become the total “bad guy” in the eyes of many if s/he forced an 18 year old of the house while s/he is trying to commute to college.