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I’m amazed at how sexist this is. If someone asked me that qustion that way, I’d respond, “Are those the only two options?”</p>
<p>Reminds me of the time I went on a house inspection with my dad. We met up with another engineer there, and he asked me, “Are you your dad’s little helper?” and I calmly told him I was working on my master’s degree in structural engineering. I couldn’t believe he said that!</p>
<p>@limabeans - I agree and wish I had thought of that fabulous response! </p>
<p>The second guy who came to quote the job today was great. No personal questions, got straight to the “here’s the problem, here’s my proposed solution - ask me any questions about my proposal, and here’s the price.” Second guy’s solution was the same as the guy who asked about my lawn but his price was half. After thanking him for his straightforward approach, I hired him.</p>
<p>@MaineLonghorn - Love it! I’m an attorney and they all get REAL quiet after they hear that… although I don’t know why, I’m not in the litigation side of law.</p>
<p>Maybe I don’t remember those issues because when I encounter anyone I’m the dominant force- more likely to intimidate than be intimidated- as a physician I had to survive the male chauvanist world of the 1970’s. I am the lawn/garden person by choice- H didn’t grow up here and I’m physically stronger (and taller). I’m also as likely to get their history as they are to get mine.</p>
<p>Our house painter once confessed that he can’t stand dealing with women…“It’s just the way I am.” </p>
<p>I just laughed my head off.</p>
<p>I always get the marriage question. I assume it is because they don’t want to waste their time with wife agreeing to more expensive project and spouse insisting on a budget. Even though I’m not married, I answer that I make all these decisions. </p>
<p>Sometimes I wait until my sister is in town. She has an artistic vision I lack, and has been around construction people far more than I. I’ve taken my s/ o along for final support. He took me to buy his car, as I’m far better at that. He had to be comfortable fitting his 6’3 frame in the car but isn’t as concerned with specs and negotiations.</p>
<p>Sometimes its small talk, othertimes it may be a way of a quick financial assessment… or pickup line :)</p>
<p>“Once in a while I have given estimates and drawn plans after a conference with one or the other partner of a couple, only to arrive at the home to review and get a deposit and find the partner I conferred with is not in charge of the project or the pursestrings. I prefer to go over the particulars with both partners present to assure there is no major dissension afoot.”</p>
<p>…Bingo!!! They are trying to save themselves work & time. Remember they are giving FREE estimates. This is the only way to get business, but with it goes alot of time spent with no payment. After having deals fall through because of disagreements between spouses, they are trying to gauge the likelihood of that happening again. Another explanation may be that they have more than enough business & are able to be choosy, they hate having a home owner over their shoulder telling them how to do the job so they want to meet both spouses.</p>
<p>Not every couple agree on money. I don’t blame those salespeople wanting to make sure everyone is in agreement. When H was doing our kitchen I balked at the price. Banks require both partners’ agreement to buy/sell house, I don’t see why it would be so strange to get partners to sign/agree when an improvement could be in hundreds thousand.</p>
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<p>Best story I’ve heard in a long time! I’m going to remember this one!!</p>
<p>25 years ago, when we first moved into our house, we needed a new septic system dug. The guy kept talking to my husband, referring to me as “the bride,” and assuming that I was the only one in the house who did laundry. As in, “Now, when your bride does the laundry, . . . .”</p>
<p>“Will you be the only one driving the car?” was how it was phrased the last time I went car shopping. “Yes.” </p>
<p>What I didn’t tell them, until I’d narrowed it down to two possible cars, was that DH had veto power over the comfort of the passenger seat. I felt bad for the salesman when DH hated the seat in my first choice (it immediately made his back hurt). </p>
<p>It was an interesting car hunt, in any case. I measured the cargo area of ten different cars, drove four cars that passed the first test (sufficient cargo area for three standard poodles in their crates), narrowed it to those two, then brought in DH to actually sit in the passenger seat…</p>
<p>I’ve had someone ask if I had PERMISSION to make the purchase decision, most recently when I was talking to contractors to insulate our roof. Well, that was an easy option to eliminate! </p>
<p>When DH and I were purchasing our first dining room set, we decided to go home and think it over. (We always do this before spending $$.) The salesman said, “Oh, I guess your bride needs to convince you!” with a leer in his voice. Have not patronized that chain since.</p>
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Oh my!!! I might have lost my tongue and temper with that comment!</p>
<p>^^We did notify the manager. I can only hope the sales guy was canned. We have had many laughs about it since, though.</p>
<p>This happened to me when I was getting bids for new windows. The local Anderson shop would not come over unless both my H and I were to be present. I told them to take a hike.</p>
<p>Also had a contractor ask me, “Does your husband know you’re doing this?” I realize these folks want to yield a strong percentage of these bids, but ticking off potential clients is NOT the way to do it!</p>
<p>I asked for a Bath Fitter quote once. The guy who called refused to (come in person) and evaluate the job and give a quote unless my husband was also there.</p>
<p>I was glad to tell the sales guy to go %^$& if he wouldn’t understand that I could make the decision on a home improvement job.</p>
<p>Since then I’ve heard bad things about that company so am glad I never wasted the time to meet with the guy.</p>