<p>We were very blessed to be able to have our kids home for Thanksgiving every year when they were away at college. At first, I was buying the one stop fares at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I finally relented and gave them the more expensive nonstop flights so there was less chance of missed connecting flights due to weather.</p>
<p>Our kids attended college 2500 miles away in LA. S then moved 5000 miles away to DC/VA. He chose to fly home for his 2nd Thanksgiving with us since graduating from HS in 2006. D is flying in today from LA, so this will be our first Thanksgiving in together since 2005, before he started college. We are beyond thrilled, especially since they will also be with us for Christmas and New Year’s. (S flying to us in 2 separate trips). </p>
<p>When I attended college and law school, I only went back to HI every summer to work, never for any other holiday or time. My sibs also were not allowed to come back for Thanksgiving, tho some did go home for Christmas, I think.</p>
<p>When I was in college we didn’t fly home for both. We spent the holiday with college friends. For my kids we give them the choice. My husband wants to see them! So far the choice has been to come home.</p>
<p>Long break is great for students who can go home, not so great for those who have to stay on campus.</p>
<p>They don’t need 9 days off for Thanksgiving…most colleges are “out” until after New Year between 12/13 and 12/20. For my non drivable distance kid, this year especially made no sense to bring them home because Thanksgiving is so late. He’s done with classes for Christmas on 12/12. We would have been flying him home essentially for 2 days only to fly him back on Sunday and then turnaround and fly him back home 11 days later. Even if costs weren’t factored in, that’s kind of silly - I’d rather he fly the home between spring and summer or sometime far away from Christmas when he’s coming home anyway.</p>
<p>I never did. This is the first Thanksgiving in 7 years my D is home, and that is because she is independent now, and chose to spend $300 to come home for 10 days.</p>
<p>In her college years, she ether bucked up at school, found friends to share the meal with, or one year threw a great dinner party with her 4 roommates (just the 4 of them).</p>
<p>I won’t lie, I missed her every year, but I couldn’t afford, or justify, spending the $ for a 3 day weekend.</p>
<p>Neither of my young college graduate S’s will be with us for Thanksgiving. Both have work obligations. We don’t have any other family close by so it will just be DH and me.
We’re looking forward to Christmas.</p>
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<p>Going away to school is only the start. There can be travel abroad, pursuing a job in a different state or country, marriage/partnership with someone who also has a loving family. And eventually the child may want to establish their own traditions and celebrate in their own home. Eventually, of course, they’ll have no choice.</p>
<p>D1 is studying abroad this semester so having her come from Europe to California for the holiday is most definitely not happening. Silver lining: no need to battle the airport traffic to pick her up! :D</p>
<p>We had this discussion with youngest D when she was choosing between a college within driving distance vs one several thousand miles away. She chose the farther away school, so she did not come home fall break of Thanksgiving (both 4 days). There is an outing club at the school and she is going rock climbing this weekend with a group. She was a little lonely fall break, but perhaps next year she will go on a trip then also. She will be home for a month in December, but not spring break because she plays a spring sport. My other 2 kids will be home and I am not feeling it is that big a deal that she will not be here. Older D was thinking of going to her boyfriend’s family for Thanksgiving, but then she realized Christmas is on a Wednesday and she won’t make it here for that. They grow up, get jobs, and can’t always be here.</p>
<p>Our youngest who attended college on the opposite coast never came home for Thanksgiving, all four years. No big story – we just couldn’t afford it!</p>
<p>Feshman year, I sent him a charter flight ticket from Los Angeles to San Francisco to be with cousins for T-day weekend. He slept a lot, and got to see S.F. for the first time. He liked the trip quite well.</p>
<p>The next 2 years, he was invited by friends whose families live in L.A. area. Senior year, the friends cooked their own T-day dinner in off-campus housing. </p>
<p>It only felt odd to us all in his freshman year; after that, we were all adjusted.</p>
<p>D’s school gives them a full week for Thanksgiving, so it was a little easier to justify a cross-country trip in past years. </p>
<p>But she’s not home this year for T-day (her final semester), partly because she’s working on her final project but mostly I think because her life really is there now. Plus she has a full-time job in retail, so taking time off this weekend is out of the question. She won’t be home at Christmas for the same reason. We didn’t have her for Thanksgiving last year, but this will be the first time she won’t be home for Christmas. </p>
<p>We will have houseguests for both holidays, including two younger nephews who will contribute the kid factor, so that will help. But it’ll be hard. We do plan to Skype.</p>
<p>OP, this is my first year as ds2 is a freshman on the East Coast. I admit to a few tears in the weeks leading up to it, but it’s just not practical to bring him home. This thread shows you won’t be alone and neither will your ds. Many of ds2’s friends who went to college out of state are on their own. Lucky for me, one of his bffs is flying to see his big sister in ds’s town so they get to spend it together and they’re all going to the friend’s aunt’s house so he’ll have a real dinner. He said several kids on his floor were staying there. He’s really looking forward to seeing his friend. I feel like he’s in great hands.</p>
<p>My older ds is on the trimester system, which I love! He came home Monday and doesn’t go back until after the new year.</p>
<p>This topic is depressing :/. My little sous chef aka my freshman DD is away from me for the first time and I have been weepy all week. It just hit me like a ton of bricks that she won’t be with us for the first time ever. I have all but bitten my lip trying not to tell her how much she’ll be missed. She is loving college life and she doesn’t need to be worrying about me. But I honestly didn’t want her travelling with all the weather IN is having, and for only five days. Still, we’ll see how I fare tomorrow at dinner when everyone asks about her.</p>
<p>My oldest never came home for Thanksgiving but she was able to stay in her dorm and cook a meal with several friends. One year she went home with a friends, but after that she preferred to stay on campus. But younger son’s dorm actually closes during the break. Since it is cost prohibitive to fly him to London for 3 days - he took the train (2 hrs) to visit his sister this year. I’m sure they will have fun and we will be skyping. I miss them a little - but they will be home in 3 weeks!</p>
<p>Missing my girlchild, who opted not to come home for ridiculously short break. </p>
<p>Fortunately she had a friend to visit. </p>
<p>I am sad to miss her and her excellent baking skills, but glad she can spend her downtime with her friend and that girl’s family.</p>
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<p>Sure, but what constitutes family changes over time, expanding and contracting as circumstances change. I was always thankful that my far-away kids were able to make their Thanksgiving holidays joyful and to start to create their own traditions that will carry into what inevitably becomes their “family” and their traditions. Its OK to feel alittle sad with change but try to embrace the moment.</p>
<p>I’ve already cried once this morning.</p>
<p>Our DD hasn’t been here for Thanksgiving since 2005…her senior year in high school. She is here now! Woohoo. Hoping she helps with the pie baking! </p>
<p>Related…she hasn’t been here for Christmas since 2009. She is the one who decorates the house. Glad to have her home!</p>
<p>(explanation…4 years of college 3000 miles away followed by Peace Corps…reason she wasn’t here)</p>
<p>^^Awww try to have happy thoughts about whatever adventure is happening for your kid(s) today. Last year it was son #2, who neglected to bring the turkey into the house before he went skiing so he experienced the “water thaw” method for a partially frozen turkey. Both my sons have been the designated chef in resident for a number of years…this year they bought the food but are abdicating the making of said food to friends. They always send phone pics of the food in process and on the table, I’ll miss those this year but hope for the “feast” pic. That makes me happy that they can make their own memories. I should add they live an hour apart but have spent some holiday time together, especially at food time. This year they will be apart - the oldest is at that point in life now where he’s making his very own memories separate from any “family” member. That’s a change I’m digesting.</p>
<p>Oldest went to school out of state and it was just to stressful to try to fly her home. Last year she was home for the first time in many years. This year she is working on Thanksgiving. She will be the only grandchild missing. My MIL loves this holiday. But because she is working today she will take Tuesday off. With her regular Sunday and Monday off it will give her an extra day and she will come visit. Unfortunately my other D will need to head back to school Sunday AM. They will pass on the highway unless D1 gets off early Saturday and drives down Sat. Night.
Younger D seriously considered a school in Vermont. At times like this I am glad she is just a seven hour drive from home in Ca where we don’t have to worry about snow.</p>