@dadof4kids I was going to write the same thing. If his afib is consistent or frequent enough he would be on blood thinners.
There is something called a CHADS score (actually two different ones, CHADS2 and CHA₂DS₂-VASc ) that takes into account various factors like age, congestive heart failure, blood pressure, diabetes, gender etc. and gives the risk of stroke. Also it makes a difference if there is a valve issue related to the afib.
You can look it up and figure out his score easily.
If he has had a heart procedure as described, even more certain he is on blood thinners.
I have afib once every few years for 1-2 hours and even then have had to decline blood thinners over and over.
If he is on Coumadin (warfarin) and his INR is too low (INR measures level of blood thinner/effectiveness) he might have had a stroke. Range for most on Coumadin is 2-3.
It is important to monitor INR. I have to really push the Clinic to keep my mother’s in range.
If he is not being monitored, then he might be on one of the blood thinners that does not require monitoring, hopefully one that can be reversed when needed. Coumadin can be reversed with Vitamin K.
Thanks for the extra info. My sister spent the afternoon there. She said things seem normal, maybe a bit more frail since he is pretty beat up, but mentally she thought he was a bit more sharp and quick than normal. Probably due to getting his meds back where they need to be.
The idea of us getting more involved in their medical was a non-starter. I think they are right when things are fine they don’t need help. But when something is off they need a second set of ears hearing what is going on. I guess we will work on that. Maybe get them prepped so when this comes up again tney are planning on us being involved and not feeling broadsided by it.
He does have a “side” job that is 80 hours a week sometimes. That is supposed to be ending in the next year or so. Because of that he is set up fairly well with people helping him around the farm. So I think he will be able to work as much or as little as he feels like once that job ends.
He does seem to have things figured out for at least the next week so he can take it easy. Hopefully he is right that this was not big deal.
If he’s on Warfarin/Coumadin and the dosage is too high for him, he could look like a beat-up boxer. It can cause bruising. I’m on it, and I get big bruises and have no idea how it happened. Coumadin requires monitoring by blood test – if you can see any of his blood work reports, look for the PT/INR numbers. INR should be under 2.5 for most cases. The higher the number, the bigger the chance of bleeding.
I don’t have much medical advice/knowledge but I DO know a fair amount about cow behavior. Most cows will follow a bucket of grain anywhere. It’s easier to get them to follow than to herd them.
I’m guessing it’s not a blood thinner dosage issue. He gets minor things all the time, it’s just part of the nature of the work. I don’t think he usually looks any worse for wear than he always has, at least day to day. He looks pretty rough now. But if he had that type of random bruising from minor things, he would always look this bad. I’m going to try to talk to him about the medications, but I think I have to give it a bit of time and work it into conversation in a few weeks. My parents are being more guarded than usual right now, probably because they (correctly) see us wanting to take a bigger role in their healthcare and they aren’t ready for that.
I also have been designated to talk to him about what the long term wind down plan is. I think really that is what it will be, just a long term wind down. I’m a bit concerned that a nephew will try to take things over, and that my brother in law will be pushing for him to do so.
I have a couple of problems with that:
He's pretty lazy and dropped out of college once. Then failed the state patrol test, then back to college. A bit of marginal employment in between. I think he is currently going for a history degree, but not with education. I'm guessing that history degrees from his college aren't really that marketable. My sister I think isn't pushing that issue because she is just happy he is back in school. But I wonder if his plan is to work for my dad and then try to take things over eventually, maybe by default. Because I don't see any other career path he is remotely pursuing.
My biggest issue with that is that S18 has done more on the farm and wanted to do that but has been pretty heavily discouraged from trying to farm with my dad, to the point that he pretty much gave up on that idea. And he isn't lazy like my nephew. They both worked there the last 2 summers, S18 has for a couple years longer than that. S18 said grandpa is a lot harder on him, we both think because he is trying to teach him what he would need to do if he were really in charge.
I don’t know that either of them really should be doing it frankly, because while I think S18 is better equipped with the knowlege and work ethic, I still question whether either of them have enough to really make a go of it. I grew up with it, and I think neither of them have a realistic idea of what is required. They are also used to grandpa always having plenty of money and toys. He does, but that’s partly due to what was a great farm economy up until the last few years, and also the side job that is a 6 figure income. When I grew up he worked 80 hours a week and didn’t really make anything he could pull out. We had a family of 5 living on one teacher salary. I don’t think either of them could handle that. Plus they just don’t know enough.
@doschicos frequently that is true. But in this case they had escaped into a cornfield. So that would be like trying to lure someone off of the buffet with a cold chicken wing. They could have waited until they returned in at night for water (which is ultimately how the last few were captured), but there were enough of them that they were causing considerable damage to the crop so waiting wasn’t a good option. It was hot enough that those last few were getting tired enough that the guys getting them back in were afraid the cows would end up in the same shape my dad was if they kept pushing them, which is why they decided to let the last few wait until morning.
@dadof4kids My friend farms with her 83 year old dad. She is going through many similar issues. She just cringes when she sees him climbing up the silo or hooking up the grain auger. He shows up every day whether it is -20 or 95 degrees. He literally does not know how to take it easy.
Can you talk him into downsizing out of one or the other of cows/corn? In your area do farms rent out fields?
@“Snowball City” my guess is that he ends up just doing less and less himself. I would say probably for the last 20 years he has been slowly scaling out of the crops. Some things (like a combine) just don’t make sense at his size, so he hires that out instead. That work is the easiest to just have someone else do with custom work, although renting it out completely would be still easier.
The cows are a bit more tricky. I have long thought if he won Powerball he would buy 200 cows to play with and let everything else go. That’s always been where the love is. The rest he did more as a job I think.
As it is right now there are a lot more than 200 cows. His busiest time with his job is during calving season, which is the busiest time of his cattle operation. So he has had the bulk of that work done by a couple other guys for several years. I’m guessing he takes the primary responsibility on Sunday and maybe Saturday night, with hired help doing it the rest of the time.
Since he raises most of his own replacement stock, I think there is a minimal basis in the cows. So selling that out isn’t really an option, and I don’t think there is anyone in the area really equipped to handle all of them. He may parcel them out to different people on shares, I don’t know if that would work or not. But even if he did I think he is going to end up owning a pretty good number until he dies. Both because of taxes and because I think he just wants to.
I do really think that once he quits the side job (my understanding is that will happen by the end of the year, although it has been pushed back I think a couple times) he will have a very managable workload. The danger is that if he has time on his hands he starts doing more of the day to day farming on his own. I think he has one full-time employee year round, and a few that are part-time or more seasonal.
I think he is better than my grandpa was. He kept retiring, but would go to sales and come home with 50 bred heifers (happened numerous times). He said he wanted to quit (he didn’t really), but that they were just too good of a deal to pass up. When he was not physically able to even go to the sales is when finally things wound down.
Just talked to S18, who has been working on the farm all summer (got an early start due to COVID). This is the one who wanted to farm when he was growing up.
He said, “No way am I working this hard for the next 50 years just to get the crap beat out of me by a cow when I’m 70.” So maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about my nephew getting the shot that really should be his.
I’m not too worried that my dad will just give things to my nephew, they have seen that happen in other families, some of which are relation, and the fallout that brings. He cares a lot more about keeping the family together than keeping the farm together. His parents were very fair, and while they didn’t treat him worse than his siblings, they didn’t cut him any deals either. His payments to them were as much as he would pay a neighbor. All 5 siblings were treated equally, he had to buy the farm from his parents, and what little they still had when they died he had to buy 80% of from his siblings. My mom’s family things were a lot more murky. All of my dad’s siblings get along great and do things together a few times a year. My mom’s are cordial but only associate with each other when necessary.
That was one of the reasons he discouraged S18. He basically said he had to split it 3 ways, then I had to split my 1/3 4 ways, and 1/12 of what he has isn’t enough to make a realistic go of it, even as a start.
If nephew ends up there he will probably get a pretty good deal, but still not much more than his share. I do know though that with his work ethic, I just want out. I will have either him or my sister buy me out from the beginning. I don’t want to rent to him and have to worry about whether he will be able to make the payments, or if we are doing it on shares worrying that he is doing a good job.
So there is no way to find out what blood thinner your Dad is on? If he is on one, he most certainly would have bruising/bleeding issues OR stroke risk. It really is one or the other. INR range for many is 2.0-3.0 though 2.5 is a better upper limit if the doc prescribes it.
Legally, you are able to write the doc about concerns and ask that the doc not share the fact that you wrote. But the doc cannot answer you. Before my mother’s dementia, and after my husband had a stroke, I sometimes took that route.
If both your parents are cognitively okay, and don’t have you as a proxy, then I guess getting any info at all depends on them giving it to you. But it would be reasonable for them to share that one piece of info, which might be relevant to the incident.
I wouldn’t judge your nephew for studying history. A degree in history teaches close reading, writing, analysis, research and applies to many careers. A person with a BA in that field has many options. I also think that many young people take breaks from college and return with a renewed “work ethic.” We don’t know him of course, but just making a comment about majors in humanities like history
I’m pretty sure I will be able to get him to share a bit more, just not at the moment. If I had asked last week he would have told me without hesitation. I think that right now they are concerned that their kids are trying to take over. Which we aren’t, we just want to be a bit more informed. But we are all backing off for a bit.
I know he is taking a thyroid pill and a blood pressure pill. I think in a few weeks I can ask and say I just want to know what all both of them have going on so I can know what to worry about and have my doctor check out for myself and my kids. They will be responsive to that. He has an appointment with his regular doc on Wednesday, and he is pretty sure that doc will rope in the cardiologist. They have him doing some monitoring and tracking, at least blood pressure readings and I don’t know if there is more or not. So I guess as long as they are actively checking him out I will back off for a bit.
BTW, I’m a big fan of humanities majors, and I think there is a good chance D21 will go that route. I have been encouraging it. I’m just a bit skeptical in this case. I think while the skills are probably good no matter where you get the degree, the reality is that I’m guessing a history major will not have any trouble getting a job coming out of a school like those commonly discussed here. Coming out of a lower prestige state U I’m less certain. And probably more importantly I think he doesn’t have the ambition to do a job that requires a college degree anyway. Hopefully time proves me wrong.
Tangent off of a tangent:
I find it interesting how different kids growing up in the same household with similar circumstances can end up so different and with different ideas of parenting. I look at some of the things my sisters do with and tolerate from their kids and am just bewildered. (Specifically the complete lack of ambition of her 2 oldest, the youngest it is a bit difficult to predict but I’m guessing they will be the same.) I’m pretty sure the feelings of bewilderment are reciprocated, and they probably feel the same way about each other, although maybe a bit less so. I tolerate a lot from my kids that I probably shouldn’t, but lack of ambition and working towards a goal is not on the list.
Ultimately I don’t want a 30 year old who’s main accomplishment is being good at Playstation living in my basement.
It’s easier to get them to follow than to herd them.