Infuriating.
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Interesting. We have always had the wife first. The only time I had an issue was when I couldn’t import IRS tax return data into our kid’s FAFSA and spouse had to do it.
I took my ex’s name when we got married. We got divorced 30 years later. I decided to keep my married name because it has been my name for 30 years - professionally and personally. I just use Ms rather than Mrs.
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Same thing happened to me. H’s name is very easy but people frequently change the last letter because that is a more common name. And it is also often mispronounced even though it is an easy name.
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I’ve never had any trouble either, but I use Turbotax vs a direct IRS electronic form. I wonder if that makes a difference? back in the early days when I would do it by hand on paper, I would try to be “fair” and list H first on one (fed/state) and me on the other. But then I’d just confuse myself putting down salaries, etc. on W2s. I just wound up always putting myself first.
And since I took care of all the FASFA stuff, I never noticed a problem with that either.
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I’ve been married for 37 years. I’ve always done our taxes. At first I listed my husband first and me as spouse but after a few years I decided that was dumb and switched to me as taxpayer and him as spouse. There have been no problems and it just feels right since I’m the one filling out the forms.
Edited to add: I also did the Fafsa and other financial aid stuff and again, no problem.
Another edit to add: We recently set up an investment account after I received a substantial inheritance. I set up everything with the advisor and although we both met with him it was clear I was the one who knew what was what with our finances. He set up the account with my husband as the primary account holder. And to change it he had to completely close out the account and set up a new one. Which, to his credit he did at no charge to us and as soon as I brought it to his attention. I was pretty irritated though.
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Me three. My maiden name was a clunker even before many people added a letter in the middle. My DH’s (and my) last name is easy, yet people frequently add a letter in the middle or at the end!
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I kept my birth name but my three sons have their dad’s last name. Part of the reason was that he has an unusual (but not hard to spell) last name and with the exception of one nephew, they were the only ones in that generation with that last name. One couple I know decided that if their child were a girl she would get mom’s last name. They only had one child, a girl, who had mom’s last name but when she became an adult added dad’s last name via hyphenation.
The first town we lived in I was definitely a rarity. Almost every mom I met had taken their DH’s last name. We moved nearby to a town/neighborhood with a higher percentage of professional women and while still uncommon, I have a number of friends that also kept their names.
I was fine with going by Mrs. DH’s name for kids stuff. Most of my kid’s friends or the kids at school if I was in the classroom called me that which was fine. One kid kept calling me Mrs. MyLastName which bugged me for some reason. I remember one time the elementary nurse was questioned my name on a permission slip and I had to remind I was in fact the mother!
Never thought to take paperwork proving they were my kids when flying. Never had an issue, but also did not do much overseas travel.
I also think some folks at my HS reunion assumed I was not married because I didn’t have a different name.
So far my nieces have all taken their DH’s names, although my nephew’s wife is keeping her name so far.