<p>sly_vt- you’re right. It also depends how old they are. 14 and 15 year olds may need monitoring. Hopefully 18 year olds have developed some common sense!</p>
<p>My D’s roomates were more of the “omg, your mom has joined facebook! Are you going to friend her?” types. She had no trouble with it. </p>
<p>She even went to the trouble of “poking” me. What is with all of this poking stuff?</p>
<p>(I actually joined Facebook because I read an article about the founder and his plans to make Facebook the super-duper platform of the future where you’ll be able to do all sorts of unspecified things. For example, if you wanted to find people’s opinions about a Canon camera, you could do it through Facebook. Heck, that is what I use CC for!)</p>
<p>I don’t like any occassion where parents purposefully search out information about their kids behind their backs and without their knowledge when there is no specific reason to suspect a problem (or any time after the child is college-aged or older). This includes searching for them online, going through their room, looking through their car or purse, searching for a livejournal, looking at online history, etc. Yes, you certainly can do these things, but I don’t think that it supports a healthy and tru****l relationship, and I do not think that it reflects well on the parent. To this day, one of my worst memories growing up was when I was confronted about something my mother saw on my internet history (something not dangerous, drug-related, porn-related, etc.). I felt betrayed, and I felt as if I was not trusted or respected. I became obsessive about computer privacy after that, which is something that still remains.</p>
<p>I would not friend either of my parents on facebook. Thankfully, I doubt either would be able to figure out how it works. Sometimes my sister or I will show my parents specific pictures on facebook. </p>
<p>Privacy settings can be adjusted very specifically to the point where only friends can see the profile (and it can be as limited a profile as you’d like), and the person can’t be searched, friended, seen in any listings, messaged, “poked,” or anything else. Most people keep their facebook profiles open to college networks but closed to any regional networks.</p>
<p>Gross 10 char</p>
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<p>I guarantee you are not a parent of a teen. I’m the parent. Until they are adults, I am responsible for my kids. I have let them both know that they have absolutely no right to privacy, and that I will invade it whenever I feel like it if I suspect they are in danger in any way. The truth is that they are both incredibly responsible and have never given me reason to doubt their character. In fact, Son2 deleted everyone from his MySpace friends list that he had not first met in person. </p>
<p>Neither of them like it, just like you wouldn’t, but I figure they are going to hate me anyway, so I may as well do the right thing. Someday they will either understand it and do the same with their own kids, or they will remember me as an autocratic jerk and vow to parent differently. Either way, I won’t care since I am doing the best I know how to do as a parent. They get to choose their own parenting skills when it’s their turn.</p>
<p>WashDadJr turns 18 a week from Monday. That’s the day I pretty much butt out of his life, and try to recast my role as advisor and not coach. In his case, it won’t make much difference since I’ve already mostly left him alone, and he still asks WashMom and I for advice.</p>
<p>I am on facebook and find nothing strange about it. It has nothing to do with “spying” on my S( he provides me with all the information I need…and more) . At first he refused to “friend” me( which was perfectly fine with me) , but recently he added me to his friends( and this is fine with me also 
) . We have some mutual friends( S’s girlfriend included) , and we have our own groups of friends. No big deal.</p>
<p>I show my mom some things on Facebook, but I don’t think I would friend her on it. coarranged, I’ve had that kind of experience too (my mom read my Xanga, and got on my case about how vile swearing was. I don’t think swearing is wrong, and it’s not like I swear every sentence. I’ve been paranoid about my privacy since then, too.)</p>
<p>I know some teenagers do things that are very unsafe, but I don’t think it’s nice to intrude on their privacy unless it’s been proven that they did something stupid. I also know that sometimes it could be too late, but aren’t those cases very very rare? I don’t add random people onto any of my social networking sites (I closed my orkut account because of the lack of privacy it offered, and will probably be closing MySpace too, as soon as a couple of friends get Facebook.) I have a lot of friends that I’ve met online (through websites) that I’ve even written letters to, and called on the phone - but I asked my parents first. I’ve never done anything stupid, and my parents usually leave me alone (they do read things sometimes, though, which irks me. For example, when I leave an AIM window open by mistake. I’m 17, I’m not exactly going to be talking about the stock market.)</p>
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<p>I agree.</p>
<p>My D has shown me a few of the newer features on Facebook - looks pretty entertaining. She also just deleted her Myspace because it was for “lame stalker types”.</p>
<p>Emphasis added.
I’m not sure our statements are mutually exclusive, WashDad. What I disagree with is when parents invade privacy (and I do think that kids should and inherently do have some right to privacy) without reasonable cause.</p>
<p>I might as well stop using Facebook if any of parents ‘friended’ me.</p>
<p>I set up a Facebook page before my daughter set hers up.</p>
<p>I don’t have a facebook but I do have a myspace and my kids are my buddies, as well as a couple of their friends. I did this because they put their account on “private” and I could only access them if I was on their buddy lists where the post photos and blogs etc that they want me to see. Yea, I see many things on there I don’t necessarily approve of (esp on my college D’s) but I don’t say much. I guess thats why they don’t mind having me. I’d rather know whats REALLY going on with them than not, and if I want to know I have to hold my tongue. Its interesting to me to see what people are doing, especially kids I’ve known since they were babies. Some might be appalled to think someone like me is reading their stuff but oh well. Everything on the internet is open season IMO.</p>