<p>This varies by campus and individuals. For example, hookups were commonplace at my LAC when I was there in the mid-late '90s because dating was regarded as “old-fashioned”. Other factors include student prioritizing academics/political activism over relationships.</p>
<p>At Columbia, the main issue was most students were prioritizing academics, competing for internships at places like bigname i-banks, enjoying NYC/campus life, and dating folks off-campus from other colleges or those who are at different stages of life such as a HS classmate at Columbia dated a 29 year old during her undergrad years.</p>
<p>Yes, cobrat, I know which is why I said PERSONALLY- as in, my own personal experience.</p>
<p>ETA: It’s worth noting, and keeping in mind, cobrat when talking about your experiences nearly20 years ago at Oberlin that you seem to have experienced a very special situation which generally isn’t applicable to most college students in the 2010s.</p>
<p>The biggest disappointment for me is that this was published in the NYTimes. Anecdotal reports like this do not merit the time reading them. I’m certain that the reporter could find just as many students who were dating, monogamous or asexual as mentioned in this article. What about LGBT?
A complete bit of fluff just as significant as the article a few years back about highly educated women opting out.</p>
<p>Some of the quotes are very sad: putting career and achievements ahead of personal relationships. Those priorities don’t seem conducive to happiness and fulfillment later in life.</p>
<p>After I read this article, I didn’t find this thread and posted it to the College Life forum. I guess it was deleted by the mods but I hope we hear from current undergrads. I am the parent of a rising high school senior. My daughter knows a few girls in her school who are extremely ambitious and hook up, more or less as described by Subject A in the article.</p>
<p>I found the article very depressing. The most depressing part for me was the part that discussed date rape as just a normal part of life–the fact that guys assumed that girls who went to a frat party and got drunk had thereby “consented” to sex with any guy who wanted to have sex with them while they were drunk. This happens mostly to freshmen girls, who are usually 17 or 18 years old.</p>
<p>I am more conservative about sex than most on this board–I think it’s something that should be reserved for marriage or at least a serious relationship; it’s certainly not something you should be doing with some guy you like so little you couldn’t get through a coffee date with him.</p>
<p>Yes, I think things are different now. There were one night stands in my day, of course. However, I think most of the time people at least tricked themselves into thinking "This is someone I could have had a relationship with in other circumstances."I also think there was a lot less date rape back then. It certainly wasn’t unheard of but the guys I knew considered obviously drunk girls “off limits.”</p>
<p>There are still young people of both sexes who feel this way. Not everyone finds the idea of casual sex appealing. </p>
<p>At the same time, though, the need for two young people to pursue careers is a real issue. At some point, if a couple is going to have a lasting relationship, they have to make a geographic commitment to each other (meaning that they will choose to live together and move together, even if this involves career compromises for one or both). But it seems more difficult to make this commitment early – like right after college – than it might be later on.</p>
<p>One thing that struck me about the article was the author’s need to reassure us that these were slim, CUTE girls with button noses. You know, not fat, ugly girls with big noses who could be EXPECTED not to be able to get a date or get laid.</p>
<p>I’ve decided the hook up culture is too boring to bother with. In glad my own daughters don’t participate. Other than that I’m bored of the subject</p>
<p>I know of monogamous relationships that grew out of hook up beginnings even if that wasn’t the initial intention of either party.<br>
I do feel uncomfortable when anyone needs to be mentally altered to have sex. That can’t be good.</p>
I agree with this. This kind of phony trend story doesn’t necessarily depict a real trend–or at least, not as big a trend as it suggests. I don’t think things have really changed all that much in the last few decades. There is probably somewhat more “hooking up” than there was, because people are somewhat more likely to be sexually active at a younger age. But there are still plenty of relationships.</p>
<p>Consolation, I agree, this is the worst part! The article becomes more racy if they say they are discussing attractive girls. How offensive is that!</p>
<p>In college in the 80s I knew several people who were date raped, only we didn’t realize that’s what it was at the time. I don’t know if its truly more prevalent now.</p>
<p>I have no data on college sex. But I do know that alcohol use among college females has very radically changed in the past decade (since the rise of alcopops 2001-2003). We have good data on this. Whether there are associated changes in college sex, I wouldn’t know. But things are definitely NOT like they used to be.</p>
<p>I am also conservative about sexuality. I’ve heard most of the time hook-ups are worse sexually for the women because young men don’t really care about a partner they have no tie to.</p>
<p>At the same time, our world is really different. We have to be competitive and focused. The price of not doing well, especially in the US, is quite high - one could be left without proper nutrition and probably healthcare. I personally believe that if you commit to something, you have to be prepared for the requisite sacrifices. Having children while you’re trying to climb up the ladder or go through difficult training can affect one’s ability to succeed. Thus, I can see why people put off reproduction and relationships until they are more stable. I know a person with a PhD who did not get married until her thirties and had a child later in life. Since it is difficult to 100% abstain between the time of sexual maturation and an official relationship - young humans are quite sexual - people will be more inclined to ‘hook up’.</p>
<p>I am a high schooler and most of my classmates feel that most HS relationships will fail and if one can do well and attend a good university, you’ll meet better people that you’d actually like to stay with. As the ‘most UG relationships fail’ thing becomes a more prevalent idea- because of media hype and maybe because of economic realities, I imagine more students will continue that HS approach. Thus the trend is compounded.</p>
<p>My personal views are pretty complicated for many reasons. I do think, however, that there is a strong fixation on idealistic ‘romantic love’ in Western culture. (This is not meant to be taken in support of ‘hook-up culture’.)</p>
<p>I didn’t mean to say the stats are in the article. Their introduction implies it is widely accepted and studies were done regarding the subject.</p>