OP- you will need to pay a retainer upfront to hire the lawyer. That’s the way divorce lawyers work… but legally, you two are still married, so you own half of everything you have as a couple, i.e. checking account, investments, savings, etc. But you will need to come up with some cash in order to have the lawyer draw up the agreement which says that their firm is representing you in the divorce.
You do not need your husband’s help to look up your son’s account on the website. Most likely your son has a password which allows him in to the portal, and you should feel comfortable telling your son that you want to see if there are any charges on his bill for the current semester which will need to be paid before the end of the year, and ask him for the password. You may need his social security number as well for the look up but presumably you have that. Your son will be able to help you if you can’t manage this by yourself- there are no colleges that I know of that will allow you to register for next semester if you owe them money for THIS semester, so it’s in your son’s best interests to help you look up his account. Because if he owes so much as an overdue book or a lost key to his dorm room… he can’t go back to college until those are paid up. So your son will want to help you check his bill.
Where did your husband keep all the family financial records before he moved out? These files and folders (and/or the computer he worked on) is going to be needed by the lawyer, so save yourself some time and money and start sorting things out right now. Paystubs from your husbands job? Tax returns, W2’s, payoff statements from old loans (your husbands college loans? Your college loans?) all of these papers are important depending on the circumstances of your marriage and divorce. Did you work in the first few years of your marriage to pay off his student loans? The lawyer needs to know that. Is your husband still the beneficiary on your life insurance policy (if you have one)? You’ll need to change that over so your kids are your beneficiaries. Etc.
So give yourself a pep talk and get moving. Your can’t look at your kids as your meal ticket here… YOU are responsible for taking care of them and ensuring a healthy future for them, not the other way around. So you are not going to use your son’s college money to fund your household expenses… if your son’s college is too expensive, you and he will find another college to transfer to.
OK?