Yeah so my point is that what he could get in trouble for might be different at different schools. At Oberlin this is a fire code issue most likely. At Liberty? Could be a different story.
2 Likes
THIS is the most important thing. If you are violating the rules for dorm residents at your school, thatâs what matters.
And where I am, there is NO smoking allowed (of any kind) in dorm rooms anywhere I can think of. This could be the violation.
5 Likes
I might be in the minority here, but other than any building safety codes or breaking dorm rules, I really donât see this as a huge deal. Iâm going to assume my kids will all probably drink in college like we did back in the 80âs and 90âs, and that theyâll add to that MJ since itâs now legal. Of course, thatâs not to say we donât have open conversations with our kids about drugs and alcohol and risks, etc⊠But spoiler: when we think âour kid didnât do it but the people around them did,â it might be a wakeup call that maybe we donât really have the full picture. Again â the âfull pictureâ of a 22 year old man smoking a joint is really not that big of a deal IMO. Iâll add that I personally come from a family of drug/alcohol abuse and so Iâve been sober for over 25 years. And I still donât think this is a huge thing, beyond the âhey you agreed to live in a specific community, so you really do need to honor the rules of engagement there.â So, more like a candle infraction than big evidence of gateway drug activity.
ADDING: Iâm in grad school now and am surrounded by smart, driven 22-28 year olds â a LOT of them smoke pot in the same way we used to grab a glass of wine. It really seems like NBD in this dayâs culture, at least here at Columbia, where I am. (Which doesnât mean itâs risk-free â but thatâs another conversation).
4 Likes
Hi all,
Thanks for responding. Yes, it was a very dumb mistake for DS to do this.
He just got an email from the housing office at his school telling him that he has been scheduled for a âconduct hearing meetingâ because he was suspected of using weed.
He should not admit to anything.
What should he do in the conduct hearing then? Should he just admit to his friend visiting and smoking? Or should he just stay silent and not admit to anything?
Not sure if this will provide the best outcome but I would suggest he walk in and be accountable.
This would be my suggested script.
I am sorry!! I was not smoking but that is irrelevant as I am responsible for what goes on in my room. I hadnât previously considered all of the underlying reasoning behind these rules but I can assure you I am now fully appreciative of why my actions were prohibited in the dorm rooms. This will never ever happen again and once again I am sorry.
This isnât a court of law so they donât need evidence to convict. He is there because he is âguiltyâ and they know it.
Most people sitting in judgement will respect the candor and honesty. Most importantly the goal of any punishment is typically to ensure the conduct doesnât happen again. By being so direct and mature you are sending the message that any punishment is just being punitive.
My kid took this approach regarding a closed door party his freshman year and received a warning and a handshake. He of course made sure not to be a repeat offender.
Good luck and sorry this happened.
12 Likes
Thoughts @hanna?
1 Like
Does the university have a student advocate office? I think they usually handle academic misconduct accusations/hearings, but likely could provide good advice on this as well. I would see if there is anyone there who could advise and perhaps be present at the hearing to support him. If not, then I agree with @Catcherinthetoast
If the family can afford it, I recommend getting legal advice. This doesnât sound like a complicated matter, so it could be that a good lawyer would hear the story and say itâs not necessary to actually hire them. But I like to hear that from the lawyer themselves, not speculate.
4 Likes
Is this the reason officially cited? Using marijuana, not smoking in his room? Obviously this is about school rules, not laws, but considering that youâve said marijuana is legal where he goes to school and your son is of age to use it, it seems strange that this is the specific issue rather than breaking some housing rule against smoking indoors, open flames, etc.
Especially if taking @Catcherinthetoast âs advice, I would just want to make sure your kid was addressing the specific issue and not admitting to more than he needs to.
3 Likes
To be clear I am not a lawyer. My comments were based on my âdad adviceâ that happened to worked out for my kid. A survey of 1.
I defer to those with real knowledge.
3 Likes
I think the answers and advice will vary widely depending on what rules were broken:
- legality (youâve already said itâs legal at the state level)
- school campus rules (is it a dry campus)
- housing rules (is there a prohibition on lit things like candles)
- housing rules (is there a prohibition on things causing odors â cigarettes, pot, odor maskers)
- housing rules (anything else in the housing contract about guests, etc)
You donât need to specify which college, but it might be helpful for other answerers if you can clarify which level of rule breaking this seems to be.
May benefit from consulting attorney who specializes in this area.
MJ use Could still be illegal on campus, bc there are drug free zones in some states.
Edited to add - would also want to obtain any report the campus security created about the incident.
1 Like
â Federal Law and Institutionsâ Responsibilities
Despite the variation of cannabis policies across state lines, the drug remains illegal on college campuses everywhere in the country. Cannabis is defined as a Schedule I drug under federal law. The Public Law 101-226 or Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act (DFSCA) of the Higher Education Act requires institutions of higher education to ban the use of illicit drugs on campus. As long as colleges are receiving federal funding in the form of grants, scholarships, and financial aid, they are subject to compliance with DFSCA.â
NASPA is the professional home for the field of student affairs. Student affairs administrators in higher education:
1 Like
Many colleges have student legal services. Have him check if his does. He should be able to have representation at the hearing.
I wish we lived in a society where accepting responsibility would be the best and obvious answer, but it doesnât always work. In my opinion, he should admit nothing. They searched and found nothing, so they have no proof without his confession.
Student Housing can be unforgiving, and hopefully, the worst case is he can be kicked out of the dorm. Depending on his college, though, your son needs to find out if being kicked out of the dorm has any repercussions on his academic status.
This is why most students leave the dorms after one or two years. Itâs not just about smoking, but about so many rules about everything.
2 Likes
Smell, what smell? Nothing to see here. 100%
Also, what are the consequences? That would determine probably what I was willing to admit to. While I agree they will appreciate someone being forthcoming, if there are consequences spelled out, they may be inflexible because they may feel the need to treat students the same- treating them differently can result in lawsuits and claims of disparate treatment- so admitting to it could be a problem. I would see how the disciplinary policy is written, if it is written with a spectrum âstudents who are determined to be guilty of this offense could be sanctioned with a verbal warning, written warning, etc.â would make me feel better than a clear policy that says students will receive xyz punishment.
Typically a student is not allowed to have legal representation at these hearings.
Something is missing. They scheduled a conduct hearing because the RA smelled something from the hallway? Could someone have smoked outside then walked inside dragging the smell through the hall? Could it have been the room across the hall or next door? There has to be some reason that they feel he was responsible.
I donât think housing would refer to it as weed. And âsuspected of using weedâ sounds like the crime was not smoking in the room but that the student inhaled???
3 Likes
These are my thoughts exactly.
DS told me that the housing office agreed to let him see the write-up that the RA submitted a few days before his conduct hearing.
A few people have asked what the specific consequences would be. DS is not sure; the college handbook is very vague. Iâve heard at some schools that being caught with weed in the dorms might lead to academic probation; at others, it leads to a slap on the wrist. Iâm not sure what would happen to DS.
But you said that they didnât find anything in his room, right?
1 Like