<p>I would simply like to be assured that the decision to cancel the event was made after a great deal of discussion with representatives on all sides of the issue, and that as a result of the discussion the decision makers genuinely came to new discoveries. I would like to be assured that the change was not a grudging cave-in to political pressure. To my mind, the outcome is really beside the point. What matters is that the process be one that encourages education, not one that stifles it.</p>
<p>Well then we all agree-- bad timing.</p>
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I hereby am retro-offended by toga parties. Making fun of the proud Greek empire like that.</p>
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<p>lol</p>
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Not one kid on free or reduced-price lunches? Impressive! Private school, or just wealthy town?</p>
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You are describing what I would consider an unsuccessful fundraiser then. My point was that I would avoid any fundraiser where (a) essentially everyone who could participate financially would do so and (b) non-participants would be easily identified as having not participated. If only a small fraction of those able are participating then it is not an issue. At my daughters’ schools they have a ridiculously high participation rate on small fundraisers like that, and I would expect problems.</p>
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Not really - there is a difference between “poor” and “not rich”.</p>
<p>My high school had a big senior trip too. Cost thousands of dollars and gave kids “memories and pics to last a lifetime”. Maybe one in ten could afford to go, and those who didn’t weren’t nearly all poor, they just couldn’t drop a few grand on a private vacation. If you lowered the cost of participation to the point where only the poorest one in ten were kept from going, that would be a much, much bigger issue.</p>
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<h1>This school sits in Cummings Research Park where the parents are typically engineers, physicists, physicians, lawyers, or other well-paid professionals.</h1>
<p>Not one kid on free or reduced-price lunches? Impressive! Private school, or just wealthy town?</p>
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<p>@cosmicfish I thought you replied to my earlier post where I mentioned that this was a Catholic high school where the kids wear uniforms. I think it is the only private high school in Cummings Research Park, which is why it attracts many of the area’s professionals. It’s easy for parents of pre-drivers to drop their kids off before heading to work…which my H did until our kids could drive. </p>
<p>But again, typically about 25% of kids show up in uniforms on these fundraiser days…either because they kept forgetting to bring money…or (quite often) the kid HAD PAID but forgot it was “free dress” day. </p>
<p>You mentioned it was a Catholic high school, I didn’t interpret that as “no one is poor”. The Catholic high school where I grew up had a bunch of kids who were there only by assistance, and none of the rich kids attended. The uniforms were mandatory but got recycled as much as possible. I have friends who attended other Catholic schools who were receiving all kinds of financial assistance, including food stamps and such. People went there because of their religion, not because of the quality of education or wealth of the attendees.</p>
<p>Is “Catholic high school” really generally equivalent to “expensive private school”? Weird.</p>
<p>Wait, a fundraiser isn’t successful if 75% of the students participate? EVERY (or almost) potential participant has to participate or it’s not a success?</p>
<p>In that case I am not sure I have ever witnessed a successful fundraiser. </p>
<p>I think it’s fine for private schools to do fundraisers where everyone knows who contributes or not. Donating to the school is pretty much part of the contract when you send your kid there. That is how the school survives, keeps tuition down and quality up. </p>
<p>I think I have a fairly robust sense of humor, but I have never liked that sort of thing as a fundraiser: dunk tanks, fake jails, etc. Humor involving humiliation just turns me off. (When I was a kid, I used to find Leave it to Beaver excruciating. 
) I realize that many, if not most, other people do not share this feeling on my part. I am fully prepared to accept the idea that I am hypersensitive when it comes to this.</p>
<p>So I wouldn’t have been gung-ho about it in the first place. In addition to that, I have been extremely concerned for a long time about the incarceration rate in the US, the for-profit prison industry, and how this disproportionately affects people of color, especially young men. I think this is a tremendously serious problem for our society. </p>
<p>Plenty of work has been done that shows that the arrest rates, prosecutions, and penalties associated with minor “crimes”–that IMHO shouldn’t be crimes at all, most drug possession–are higher for black citizens. To me, it just isn’t a laughing matter anymore, if it ever was, especially in light of recent events. It’s not a question of being “offended.” (O, how I have grown to detest that word.)</p>
<p>And I actually agree with Cobrat about this smacking of Marie Antoinette playing at being a milkmaid.</p>
<p>I doubt that these young men would have planned such a fundraiser right after the Brown and Garner debacles. I think they showed good sense in cancelling it, and maybe it will cause them to think a bit more deeply about what they do and what assumptions they make going forward.</p>
<p>BTW, as a T2 diabetic I certainly am not “offended” by candy and carb-laden spaghetti dinners, I just can’t participate. There ARE ways to accommodate us, and those with celiac, even at a dessert party. Last February a celiac friend and I planned and executed a Valentine’s Day Musicale and Dessert fundraiser. We made sure that some of the desserts were gluten free, and some were low carb and some had no nuts…but all were spectacular and delicious. Not a matter of being PC, a matter of being inclusive.</p>
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Welcome to my world. Participation rates really are up in the 80-90% on the few fundraisers they run. Exceptional performers are singled out (to encourage that performance) but “ordinary” performers are rewarded more quietly because the kids who can’t afford to participate don’t really need another opportunity to have it rubbed in their face how much poorer they are.</p>
<p>When I donated to my kids schools I always had them list me as “Anonymous” because we had had a few years when we couldn’t keep up with the big boy donors and they publish names with categorized amounts. I continued to do this at the higher levels because I realized it helps mask others from embarrassment. At the same time, publishing names really motivates the big egos to give a lot!</p>
<p>Consolation, post 88, thank you. I agree.</p>
<p>@jym626 So it would be okay with you if they did a concentration camp fundraiser? Too soon? How about a Long Island JAP-themed party?</p>
<p>@Pizzagirl The toga was worn by Romans, not Greeks. So if you are Italian, go for it: be offended! :)</p>
<p>“Perhaps alumni of Northwestern (particularly those who are ZBT or KKG) could complain to the administration and threaten to withhold donations in protest.”</p>
<p>The administration didn’t cancel. The students did, because they figured it wasn’t worth enduring the hassle from the holier-than-thou. Meanwhile, all the feels are perfectly intact and the children who would have been beneficiaries (this was for reading literacy) lose out. But no one’s precious sensibilities were offended so it’s all good. Well, mine are - but I’m white and rich so who cares, lol. </p>
<h1>92 - I am kind of wondering how we would feel about a fraternity hosting the sort of auction Busdriver described? That was certainly seen as an unexceptional type of event in my day. Sometimes there were even fake manacles and chains. I would like to think no one would consider that appropriate today. Societal standards change. imho ymmv</h1>
<p>@alh, at this point I don’t think fraternities are allowed to host ANYTHING without be criticized. B-) </p>
<p>The jail and bail idea has been around for it seems like forever. Like kissing booths and dunk tanks. I always thought of these types of events as ways for young people to express their “like” for their peers. Boys bailing or dunking or buying a kiss from a girl they liked but wouldn’t normally be able to get close to, and vice versa. Attributing political meaning to these things seems like overkill to me, but I can see how it may be perceived that way in the current climate, but not last year or before.</p>
<p>Seriously. They could read to the blind and be criticized for marginalizing the deaf. They could help little old ladies cross the street and be accused of ageism. </p>
<p>Oh geez, I cannot believe I typed Greek instead of Roman! I know that! My excuse is that I’m sitting in a rehab center helping my own little old lady (mother) cross the hall! </p>
<p>^^ And here I was going to come up with a joke about getting your chiton in a twist! :)</p>