<p>How utterly tragic…and so very haunting. All of my thoughts and prayers are with this beautiful young woman’s family and friends and with the community which must be reeling from this senseless loss and asking the never-answered question: WHY???. <em>tears</em> ~berurah</p>
<p>I actually saw a neighbor this afternoon who has a son at UVM, and he told me the latest news. It’s very distressing and disturbing to hear and almost hard to believe, since we’ve always thought of UVM (and Vermont in general) as being a very quiet, beautiful and scenic campus. Apparently she couldn’t have been that savvy, because she obviously was talking to/went with someone who she thought was trustworthy, unless it was a kidnapping and someone snatched her. Of course, I don’t know all of the details, because they haven’t all developed, but I’m sure that there is more to this than the public knows. I always teach my kids to not only be savvy, but also street-smart when they’re walking/driving somewhere and they’re alone and to make sure that they have “eyes in back of their heads” at all times and constantly look around and be totally aware of their surroundings which I know is easier said than done, but I do try to encourage this behavior so that eventually it should become a habit. They lock their car doors at all times when they’re driving (as soon as they’re in the car, it gets locked). They know not to talk to strangers if they’re alone. As an example, an older man could come up to one of them and strike up a conversation by perhaps asking directions. That’s something that occurs quite often when living in a big city. They knew from an early age on if someplace/someone looks sketchy to avoid the area/person, etc. at all costs. But even someone who looks very average could be some kind of pervert, so really it’s hard to trust anyone these days. I’m constantly worried about their safety. Sometimes when they’re out and about, they call me, and I stay on the phone with them until they reach their destination. The kids need to be paranoid and vigilant in terms of using certain safety precautions when they’re out alone whether it’s in a city, suburb or rural environment. In a big city, it’s difficult to always have someone at your side at all times - it’s more of an independent environment, and it teaches them to stand on their own two feet. At the same time, we want them to be safe. And, of course, you can’t always judge a book by its cover - someone could look/act normal and then really be weird. It’s scary.</p>
<p>As frightening as this story is, I think the hype around each and every abduction/murder feeds the anxiety frenzy that is already rampant in this country.</p>
<p>There have ALWAYS been women abducted, raped and murdered. It happened when we were in school too. We just didn’t have 24 hour news to tell us every Natalie Holloway nuance. </p>
<p>Yes, it is good for kids to learn to be savvy, to look around, to be able to assess people and situations. But there is no way in life to be 100% safe, and efforts to be “too” safe prevent people from actually “living” life, as the fear guides their every choice. Yes, one can be TOO paranoid, and it is a life limiting handicap.</p>
<p>Balancing responsible street savvy with irrational fear is hard, for both parents and kids, but it is sure important to try to strike that balance. But I don’t want my kids to be afraid to try new things or go new places because either they, or I, am too afraid they are going to be abducted or murdered. Life can be ruined by living in fear.</p>
<p>I know, I have a friend who used to hitchhike up and down the California coast in the 1970s with one of her girlfriends. They had a theory that they could tell in the fifteen seconds before getting into the car which driver was safe and which was not. Kids have always been reckless and will continue to be so. I think that college girls are drinking more (more often and more quantity) now than before, and perhaps we can remind our daughters that if they are not in their right minds they are easy targets. Very sad.</p>