<p>I agree with MD Mom. I have not seen any of these courses, so I really not comment except to say that they will most likely do some good, just raising the issues. At the end of the day, we are responsible for preparing our kids on facing the many very real dangers that are out there. Just don’t ignore the issued because the topics are ugly. If a person has thought through potential dangers and defense strategies before hand, there is a much better chance of a better outcome. Often it is the reaction in the first ten seconds that can change things. now the dangers, have a strategy.</p>
<p>As always the best strategy is to actively avoid situations with higher potential danger.</p>
<p>S’s LAC required him to complete 2 online courses - a sex/dating class, and an alcohol class - before registering for classes for the first time. That was 3 years ago. They also had a forum on dating and sexual assault, and one on alcohol, during freshman orientation. I hope my D’s college does the same. I think it raises awareness of the issues and sets the ground rules for everyone as to what is unacceptable. I hope it helps, I think it does.</p>
<p>Like a lot of stuff, I think it’s mostly preaching to the choir. If done correctly it generates discussion and better understanding, and hopefully it will be followed-up on campus, but I bet a lot of this stuff has more to do discounts on schools insurance premiums.</p>
<p>My main quarrel with Bogle–I admit I haven’t read her book, I’m reacting to interviews and media summaries–is that she talks as if “hooking up” were something new, where really it’s only the phrase that’s new. What she describes is very similar to the way sexual relationships worked for many of us on my college campus over thirty years ago. I remember little or nothing in the way of a “traditional dating culture” on that campus, but lots of “hooking up.” We just didn’t call it that. </p>
<p>Why does this matter? Because the idea of “hooking up” as a new development is likely to make people worry about it more than they would if they realized it’s just a new label for something that’s been a part of college life (and even, to a lesser extent, high school life) for a long time. And this is probably not accidental, since worry sells books. (Who, me? Cynical?)</p>
<p>I haven’t read the book yet, but I’m wondering if it still could be a useful tool for encouraging discussion. My college experience was very much like yours. We used to call them “one night stands” but I’m guessing “hook-up” is the same experience with a new label. Looking beyond alarmist hype to find useful information is a good skill for kids to develop, too, I guess.</p>
<p>I’ve had quite a few discussions with my college-bound S about casual sex, but not so much yet with my soon to be a high school freshman D. I’m wondering if this book might be a good tool to use with her, too?</p>
<p>Often, the kid’s reaction to whatever it is you present tells you a lot about what they are thinking. My personal favorite is “groooooossss.” I admit I haven’t read the book nor have I heard it being discussed. </p>
<p>My older child was not very social in high school, but when she was little, I took advantage of her love of reading and subscribed to magazines for her. “ZooBooks” featured a different type of animal or animal group every issue and of course, reproduction was discussed in every issue. Her knowledge of reproduction in animals was ever so helpful when the time came to talk to her.</p>
<p>If there are any parents of elementary age children reading, ZooBooks is a great start.</p>
<p>Per comments on Hogle’s book:
Her point is not that this is something new and there is NO “you won’t believe what they are doing” in the book. Instead, Hogle has written a book that largely features the voices of young people. Her ethnographic research lets THEM tell the story. They explain why they engage in casual sex. They describe in their own words how they feel about that after the fact, four years after the fact, and after they have graduated. Their voices, rather than the author’s, dominate. Her strategy enables young readers to assess casual sex for themselves and to identify with the young men and women who tell their stories in the book. Nicely for most parents reading the book, the young people themselves come to the conclusion that casual sex as freshmen and sophomores was not a good idea. The book makes an end run around parental lectures while arriving at the same destination.
As for a high school students reading this book, if you get the sense that your daughter’s friends are sexually active, I think the book would be a good idea. My daughter would not have been ready for this book in tenth grade but probably would have been the following year.</p>
<p>Thank you for the guidance. I’m heading to Barnes and Noble tomorrow. It sounds like the book would be great for my son. I’ll read through it and decide if it’s too much for my daughter. Has anybody come across anything similar that’s maybe more appropriate for young high school students?</p>
<p>A course in sexual assault isn’t going to help when alcohol is involved. Sadly, in many college rapes/assaults, there is alot of drinking and poor judgment takes place.</p>