On TV they never...

Parent Cafe
21

<p>In a commercial, nobody ever wears glasses unless it’s a commercial for glasses. </p>

<p>In a show, if there’s even one line of dialog that seems odd, it’s a clue.</p>

<p>In the first ten minutes of a crime show, a character who has more than a few lines is always the guy who did it.</p>

22

<p>On TV they never…</p>

<p>understand that you do NOT shock someone in asystole (straight line).</p>

<p>transfer someone to the ICU after they’ve performed CPR, shocked them, and done other emergency interventions after a “code blue.” You see the patient sitting up in bed a few minutes later looking perfectly fine.</p>

<p>hang around to document the actions taken during a code where they’ve just saved someone’s life. They just go “wow, that was close” and scatter in 10 different directions.</p>

<p>Sorry, all medical, but just got home after a long week, so medical stuff is on the brain.</p>

23

<p>No one on TV ever asks who is knocking before opening the door.</p>

24

<p>…have to get ice cubes out of the freezer. In the soap operas the characters always have a bucket of fresh ice cubes and tongs waiting on top of their apartment bar soon as they get home to make a high ball. They can be just getting home from a two month trip to Europe and when they walk in the door the ice is already in a bucket sitting on the bar right there magically ready to go.</p>

25

<p>The cases on the legal shows never drag on for years (which is always the way in real life).</p>

<p>I’ve been watching old episodes of Frasier on Netflix. They do go to the bathroom. The character asks to use the powder room as a convenient way to get them off scene while the other characters talk about them. And they also watch TV.</p>

26

<p>Trials happen within a week of the crime. Also, television-days are really long.</p>

27

<p>Get a phone call unrelated to a plot development.</p>

28

<p>Live in an apartment that has any correlation to the job they supposedly do. My favorite on soaps used to be how they did so much before they went to work/took kids to school!</p>

29

<p>I have an always. Whenever there is a car chase seen, they always run over a vegetable cart.</p>

30

<p>When making plans to meet someone they don’t know, they don’t ask for or confirm basic information like the time or location, or exchange phone numbers. It’s always along the lines of: Wanna have dinner with me? Sure. OK, see you then.</p>

<p>I remember a scene from an early episode of Thirtysomething where Hope is actually sitting on the toilet, and thinking that must be revolutionary in the history of TV.</p>

<p>The parking stuff drives me batty. Even in NYC they always seem to pull up in front of an apartment building into an empty space. No alternate street parking on TV.</p>

31

<p>No matter what their profession the clothes look like they just came back from the dry cleaners spotless and wrinkle free. </p>

<p>Nobody is ever as smart as the hero and heroine. And sidekicks by definition cannot be very bright.</p>

32

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<p>I’m sure that must be true. In a 30 minute network TV show the writers have only 22 minutes of actual air time to tell a story. They can’t afford to include much of anything that doesn’t advance the plot.</p>

33

<p>[Home</a> Page - Television Tropes & Idioms](<a href=“http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage]Home”>http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage)</p>

<p>I love this site - details the tricks of the TV (and other) writer’s trade. Examples: <a href=“http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropesOfLegend[/url]”>http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropesOfLegend&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

34

<p>The never work as engineers (and other boring STEM fields)… ha, unless you count the research engineers on Big Bang Theory.</p>

35

<p>bagoshells, get a phone call from a telemarketer.</p>

36

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<p>[How</a> to respond to a telemarketer - The Seinfeld way - YouTube](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hllDWSbuDsQ]How”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hllDWSbuDsQ)</p>

37

<p>They never do any work at work.</p>

38

<p>I love when they see something on TV that’s shocking or major news they immediately turn off the TV after seeing the story.</p>

39

<p>On Mad Men, at least, the male leads sleep with basically anything in a skirt, and no one ever gets what used to be known as VD …</p>

40

<p>On TV they never…</p>

<p>Have morning breath. They go right from waking up to deep kissing.</p>

<p>Yuck.</p>