One Year Later. "The Moment"

Parent Cafe
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Mid-February. Spouse, myself and the kid travelled to Vancouver, CA. We were spending a week checking out a specialized sports facility in the city, and our kid was having a partner try-out, with the intent of returning there for full-time training.

We could see some airport passengers of Asian ethnicity wearing masks on both the trip there and back. Long lines at the Vancouver Costco as well. Spouse got sick on the trip; chills, body aches for over a week, fatigue - lasted over three weeks. I developed a pervasive cough for over a month. Kid did not appear to be affected. Upon arriving home, spouse immediately began remote work. Telecommuting was a company policy by early March.

Since then, our local sports facility closed permanently, and my kid lost all coaching (one moved his young family back to Europe, another started coaching 90 miles away). Kid spent over a hundred days out of the sport. Focused on school and sewing masks for charity (and lots of Turner Movie Classics binge-watching).

It’s entirely possible that the past seven years of training - plus this past 12 months of losing skills, making it eight years total - won’t result in the kid’s dream of competing internationally in their chosen sport. Sad to move on from this path; so much happened on it.

Moving forward: the kid is completing their second dual-enrollment calculus course with a local cc (two high schools in town worked together to pool resources and make this new 2-semester class sequence happen).

The entire experience of this DE course has been incredibly important for my kid’s development. The professor has been chill in nature, supportive, and much more available for student questions/video conferences than any of this year’s current high school teachers. Deadlines are hard deadlines, tests count for almost the entire grade, and these marks will follow permanently - so there’s been no choice but to step up to the challenge. Learning how to self-advocate and go to the professor for help (as opposed to the 'rents) has been a growth process, during a time of stagnation and stunting.

By contrast, high school courses have been mixed - science and foreign language somewhat challenging, English and History not at all (curriculum changes - summer will be spent enhancing and advancing skills that should have been acquired during the school year).

Both my spouse and child have been remote for a year. Unbelievable.

We are looking forward to spring break at the end of March.

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Several days stick out in my mind.

First weekend in February, H and I were eating lunch with my Aunt in Asheville. My nephew just had his employment in China put on hold. (It wound up being cancelled.) At that point I thought it would die out like Ebola and asked my Aunt (retired anesthesiologist) her thoughts. I was surprised she was so concerned about the death rate. That made me sit up a little.

End of February, older S had just gotten back from visiting a friend at Tulane (happened to be Mardi Gras week). We got together with my in-laws for dinner at Golden Corral. Another nephew (ER nurse) was shocked that he would get on a plane at that time. He said the virus would kill off our elderly population. I thought he was being paranoid.

Somewhere around the time younger S was told not to return after Spring break, I started to change my mind. I distinctly remember younger S telling me “Mom. It’s airborne. That’s what you need to worry about.” when I said all we needed to was wash our hands, etc. When VA shut everything down and work let me WFH during that stretch, I was all in that this would be bad and much longer term than many were saying.

And finally, March 18th was the date we opened our shed gym, aka “Club Coronagym.” It was meant to be open for 90 days. It’s been almost a year. It’s been a life saver for us.

And in positive news. H and I have had our second shot. Younger S will get his on Friday. My parents and in-laws have had their first shots. My mom is hoping for a big get together once everyone is vaccinated this summer. I have not seen my parents since Xmas 2019. (their choice)

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For us we look back on the weekend of Mar 7 as the last “normal time”. That weekend we attended a regional travel expo, I attended my alma mater’s last college basketball game of the season (we ended up winning our last 6, 5 against ranked teams, and were a shoo in for the NCAA’s had they not been cancelled, but I wistfully digress…), and attended a concert at a local folk venue. Was also the last time we ate at a restaurant.

The following Friday the 13th of March, schools were shut down, as did most everything else.

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I am an attorney- and had a huge hearing that was set first thing in the morning March 16. Had been preparing for days. Late Friday the 13th we heard a rumor that the court was going to shut down indefinitely. It was impossible believe, but sure enough, the courts slammed shut first thing Monday morning. Didn’t matter how important your matter was. Nothing was going to get heard.

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The last weekend in February I had a feeling where COVID was headed. We did a list of errands including buying a car and stocking up at the grocery store. My husband thought I was crazy getting TP and Clorox wipes, etc. Then I made the rounds to visit a daughter in the Midwest then to my parents in the south. Finally, we booked a 3 day vacation in Mexico with another daughter. I fit it all in and we were back in time for colleges to start sending kids home, etc. Last but not least, I got my hair colored lol!! I had a feeling it would be a while before I could get professional hair color again (months) but little did I know that 1 year later we would still be living this!!

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I was skiing on March 15. At noon the announcement was made that the mountain would close for the season at the end of the day.

I had been keeping up with the news and hearing about all sorts of things shutting down. Still, the closure felt sudden and disorienting. In the next few weeks I holed up, sewed masks, and felt a bit lost. It felt almost adventurous to go for a walk around the neighborhood.

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I was in Austin, helping take care of my dad who was expected to pass away within days (as most of you know, he didn’t and is doing well now). My sister and I were scrambling to get my mom moved into a nice facility. We had gone with Mom to buy a new mattress. The company was supposed to deliver the bed the following day, on a Monday in early March. That Monday morning, Sis and I thought, “Huh, maybe this isn’t such a good idea…” and canceled the delivery. Then we wanted to take Mom to eat dinner at the facility, but the staff said, “Uh, we don’t think that’s a good idea…” That was when I realized this was real, and that I should probably think about getting home to Maine while I still could. My flight home was surreal - I have never seen the Austin airport look like a ghost town!

Looking back, COVID was a blessing for our family. My parents have had another year in their home with wonderful caregivers. The apartment we picked out for Mom would have been too small for both my parents. When things return to normal, we will find them a place to live.

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As so many of you share your stories I have to say I remember many of them happening as you shared here last year as well, real time. For instance, I remember @MaineLonghorn posting from the various airports on your way home.

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It’s funny, we were just talking about how quickly things moved in a short amount of time last year with my daughter. First, she found out they were going home from Spring Break early. That was surprising but honestly, she was just happy for the week off. Her and her friends went to a large public event that weekend…we really didn’t think much about it. Told her to bring sanitizer and wash her hands. She then came home for break and within a few days they were told they were not going back. That was a big deal but we still weren’t too worried. We made flights to get back to where she goes to school to move her out. After a day or so we looked at each other and said, “I think we should move our flight and go tomorrow”. We were starting to see how fast things were moving and were afraid if we didn’t go then, we wouldn’t be able to at all. We got there and packed her and her roommate up (the roommate lived in California and lock downs were starting). We were sitting in our hotel room and planning our next day (we were hoping to look at some housing options for the following year) and we just sort of all looked at each other and decided we just needed to go home. I think that was the moment. We saw things shutting down and were worried about what would happen if one of us got sick out of town. All this happened in about a week’s time. I think that was the last time we ate in a restaurant. Our attitude about our responsibility to help keep others safe really shifted after that trip.

I would say at this point I am much more cautiously optimistic that we are starting to come out of all this. My daughter is desperate for things to get back to normal but I’ve learned not to share any predictions with her. She has received her first vaccine and we are waiting for our turn. Can’t wait!

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I also remember some interesting conversations if February 27 we hosted the Neighborhood Association we had a good 40 people stuffed into our living room. The mayor was there and someone asked him if there were any plans if Covid should get to NY. He said that all health things were run through the County, but he thought things were under control. Little did he know that we’d see superspreader events in our are, we’d be worrying about how kids would get much needed school lunches and no, the County had not figured it all out. Not at all.

On the 29th we had a bunch of friends over for wine tasting and since they are all biologists we had one of those conversations about which diseases we worry about and why. I remember talking about which viruses are truly deadly (Marburg, Ebola, Rabies, Smallpox among others). It all seemed pretty theoretical.

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Well, for me the story is a little different. March 2 (one year ago today) my daughter went into labor a month early late at night. She was a single mom and the dad was in another city. She called (couldn’t get hold of him til early morning) and he drove in. He managed to get here just as the baby was born March 3. From the time we came in until the time the dad got here the hospital staff had a meeting and temperature checks started being done at the door. Over the next two days it got more and more restrictive. I knew then that things were getting serious. I took a few days off work and then it shut down. Haven’t been back since.

I told my son at college that is was getting a bit crazy. He said that he was in the midwest and would probably be ok. Spring break was the next week and he and his frat brothers were going to Arizona. A day in I told him I read on CC that some schools were starting to close and he better keep an eye out. He still didn’t think much of it. By the time spring break was over (my birthday March 13) the school had extended spring break by a week and the frat had said don’t come back until after that. He did go back and managed to get some more clothes and a book or two, picked up his gf and they rented a condo for the week. By the end of that school was virtual, that had an hour to get stuff out of the frat house (luckily he had listened to me and got a storage unit before things closed down). He went to his gf’s to quarantine for a couple of weeks. After that when things got really bad he came home.

Such an odd time with a new baby. Transition to work at home, everyone at home for awhile, etc.

Now son’s college has announced next semester will be mainly in person classes. I have my first vaccine (hopefully) on Sunday. My husband has had his first shot. I worry most about the baby since he is too young for a mask and people are starting to get more lax with the rules. Who knows when his parents will get the vaccine. I just hope things are starting to get a little better.

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It was when my son’s spring break got extended by a week and the school said please don’t come back yet. Then they went entirely remote. We had to send son back for a few days to get his instrument (music major) and quickly pack and move out of his dorm room. As he was doing this over about 24 hours his flights kept getting cancelled and rescheduled by the airline. His sister was his ride to the airport and also flying out at the same time. Their flights just kept getting cancelled. Finally it was “just get the next flight and get to the airport.” They finally did make it out. That sister was engaged and planning her wedding for July. She was one of the lucky ones in that she had planned a small outdoor wedding to begin with. It got a little smaller (they hadn’t invited anyone they didn’t really really want to be there so that was hard) and even more outdoor and with many changes but they did get a beautiful wedding.

DH is a pharmacist. In some ways our daily lives didn’t change much. He still went to work every day. It made it hard to ever have a very tightly closed bubble and there was and is a sort of constant anxiety with that, but he is now fully vaccinated, and I got my first dose a couple of days ago. He gives Covid vaccines to twenty more people every day that he works. It’s feeling like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

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My moment was Wed, March 11. The first few cases were already here in MD. Warning signs had started that things might shut down for a little while. By chance I had a much needed hair appointment but afterward, I stopped at the store and got fairly well stocked up on groceries. I picked my youngest, a freshman in h.s. up from afterschool practice and as we were driving home, she got an email from school saying someone had possibly been exposed (which is crazy in hindsight as there were so few cases here at the time). They announced school would be closed for the next two days. That was the first thing.

Dh was in London at the time. He was scheduled to fly back Friday, routed thru NY. With cases skyrocketing in NY, he changed his flight to fly direct back to DC. Smart move. That same night we learned about my daughter’s school is when Trump came on tv at 9pm and started announcing international flight restrictions. Tho it was 1am in London, I started texting my husband to tell him to switch his flight and come home Thurs to avoid the crowds of people who would be trying to get back to US Friday. He got so many texts from me and his coworkers that he woke up, figured something was going on so called me, then packed up and headed to airport at 5am. Caught the first flight out (it was empty!).

Thursday night, our governor announced the closure of all schools starting Monday. So my freshman never went back to class - since her school was closed already, they brought the kids back in shifts on Friday to allow them to get any books, etc from their lockers. My son who was a junior at a different high school finished out the week. Both schools had plans already in place for working remotely and did not miss a beat - remote school began that Monday for both kids.

Meanwhile, older son was a freshman in college in NY and supposed to take the train home Friday for spring break. With all the cases in NY, and a layover at Penn Station in NYC, we canceled his ticket. I decided to drive up to get him, and when we heard that week that his spring break was extended to two weeks, and some colleges were considering not reopening campuses after their breaks, I told him to pack up his dorm room and we’d bring everything home. At best, it would prevent a second 10hr RT to get his stuff if his campus did not reopen. At worst, if he did return to campus, he’d only have 5 weeks or so left and could just go back with a minimum amount of stuff to finish the semester. Ended up being a wise decision.

So that Wednesday was really our last day of normalcy! As a SAHM whose husband traveled internationally every 10 weeks and gone for two weeks or so at a time, I had a big adjustment to suddenly having everyone home 24/7 (well except my oldest who stayed in her college apt in San Diego).

Tomorrow is my son’s 18th birthday. A year ago tomorrow was the last time I hugged my parents and had them inside my house. I’m fortunate they are now both fully vaccinated, but since we are not, they will be stopping by outside tomorrow to wish him a Happy Birthday and drop off his gift. Hard to believe it has been a year since we have been able to be together, indoors and unmasked and sharing a birthday dinner like we normally would.

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This is an interesting thread. We had just been talking about this - I guess everyone has this shared feeling of “Oh, wow, it’s been a whole year!” I looked back and it seems that we actually realized very early that something scary was happening but tried to keep going for a few months after that. We live in Japan, and my husband had gone to Hong Kong for a wedding in mid-January. We were nervous at the time because of the anti-government protests, but when he got there, he noticed that everyone was wearing masks. When he asked why, people were kind of vague and he assumed it might be related to the protests. On January 23, we went to a concert - I had given him tickets for Christmas - and by then we were sufficiently concerned that we tried to buy surgical masks and hand sanitizer beforehand. Those things are normally easy to find in Tokyo but we realized they were sold out everywhere. I remember that not many people in the concert hall were masked. After that, I can see from my Amazon purchases that I started to stock up on things, especially imported items like parrot food. But I also went ahead with planning for a trip to Portugal for late April, on the way to pick up our S19 at the end of his semester in Ohio. It doesn’t make any sense to me now, actually, to see that I was doing that in February and March, but I was raised to be a positive thinker! I remember being glued to CC during March and realizing my son’s school was unlikely to make it through the semester on campus. I guess it was when he came home that it really sunk in that this was a crisis. We have been very fortunate so far, but Japan hasn’t even started vaccinating yet and I wish they would get a move on.

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For me, it was Monday, March 16. On Saturday the 14th, I went to the gym as usual and was delighted it was so empty. On Sunday the 15th, I went to the grocery store and was delighted it was so empty!! And then Monday morning I woke up and thought, What am I, the biggest idiot in town? This thing is real, and it’s serious! After that, I went out very little

The most annoying part of that first month or so was trying to order my groceries on-line. The delivery service for my grocery store hadn’t yet figured out how to handle the dramatic increase in volume and for a couple of months it was almost impossible to even get a delivery time. They were only scheduling them two weeks out and they were completely booked. I’m delighted they finally figured it out – I assume they hired more delivery workers.

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Texted my son, today is his birthday. He said thanks, not doing too much.

I said yea, happy on a Wednesday during a pandemic birthday.

I then texted, you are the last people who haven’t celebrated a birthday during the pandemic. He said that the last thing they did before the shutdown, was dinner to celebrate.

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I DO remember having a wonderful family dinner last 2/29 (leap day) at the River Cafe to celebrate my son’s 30th birthday. The very next weekend things started to feel like they were slipping away. How life can change in the blink of an eye.

Praying for a quick rollout of the vaccine and better times ahead.

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I just found this thread! After living in an apartment in northern Brooklyn for ten years, I got a job at the other end of Brooklyn and the commute was killing me. So I found a beautiful apartment working distance to my office at a community mental health clinic and signed the lease on 3/10/20, planning to move on 3/31. On 3/18, shortly after I arrived at work and before my first client arrived, I was told to call all my clients and tell them that we were closing, and we would be doing all therapy appointments on the phone. By the time I moved, it was definitely crazy time. My daughter was working as a patient care technician in a hospital in Rochester , NY, a 6-hour ride away, and reading all the terrible reports about hospitals in NYC, all I could think of was that if either of us got sick, we’d never see each other again, which was such a heartache! I finally learned to limit how much news I consumed, but the Zoom Passover seder my cousin bravely hosted from her home in Somerville, MA, where I had expected to be able to see my family, was my personal nadir. Ugh, ugh, ugh! Eventually we started using Zoom for therapy, and as the weather got warm it became easier to connect with my friends outdoors but it was such a scary and isolating time.

Our office reopened part-time by the end of summer and I worked there one day a week. I have a number of clients that I had never seen, people who could not master Zoom. I invited them to the office one time each, where we talked, masked, across a big conference room, so at least we had a glimpse of who we were talking to. Also over the summer, I rented a car and helped my daughter move to a town an hour and a half away to start (mostly remote, ugh) medical school. She didn’t manage to see my new place until her winter break but it was a joy to host her, and I have visited her several times, most notably the day I got my first vaccine in January. My coveted appointment was at the other end of Brooklyn, almost 2 hours by public transportation and it was cheaper to rent a car than to pay for two Lyft rides. After I picked up the car, I had a little car date, lol, with my bff, sitting inside with the windows open and the heat blasting. Then a trip to Trader Joe’s for my daughter (none near her) and me, then takeout dinner togeether. It is such a relief to be vaccinated and watching the light at the end of the tunnel get brighter and brighter.

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