Our Sons' Experience on Tinder

[Magnetron]

Tinder, at least the free version, has become a poor app for meeting people. The app puts the unpaid users to the bottom of the pile under all the paid users. Only those going through all the paid profiles will get down to the free ones.

Your son really needs better pictures. Find someone with photography skills and photo editing skills to raise his perceived attractiveness and thus his ELO score. Good pictures get selected way more often than poor ones, and getting selected keeps the profile toward the top of the pile.

He should add Hinge, Bumble, Coffee meets Bagel, and other free apps. Especially in thinly populated areas he needs to play the numbers game.

[eyemamom]

My 20 something son refuses to do online dating. I don’t suspect Mrs Right will come knocking on his door so I do worry a little bit about it.

My post grad d would use tinder when she came home, but only did it to connect to boys she knew from growing up.

She is in the early stages of a relationship with someone she’s known for a few years through other friends. My son - sigh - sweet, funny, smart, kind, cute, definitely not cool or suave, but genuine - not sure how he’ll ever meet anyone. It also doesn’t seem to be a priority for him either. I suspect when he feels ready he’s going to go hunt down a woman and marry her in 2 minutes of knowing her.

[sylvan8798]

S met a guy last summer through okcupid. They have been seeing each other for 6 months now. He seems great.

[sylvan8798]

@abasket

Also is he jumping on a date too quickly?

Lol, it appears that might be the case!

[HImom]

My niece met her two long term BFs on Tinder. They were/are both very nice, college-educated, as is she, and very compatible.

[milee30]

And we all know people our age who ended up marrying their drunken bar hookups. But because it “worked out” for someone we know, that still doesn’t mean drunken one night stands found at a bar are how we’d recommend our kids find long term relationships. Tinder is the modern version of looking for a “date” at what us old folks called a Meet/Meat Market (bar). Seriously, old peeps. Your kids and young family members aren’t going to tell you this, but it is what it is.

[abasket]

^^^ I think that’s a little rough.

Suffice it to say no one way is guarantee of a wonderful, “clean”, lifelong relationship.

Bar hookups last forever…and not.

Dating apps last forever…and not.

And apparently I’m not an “old peep” because I’ve never heard or used the term “meet/meat market” for a bar or anything else.

Geez, let’s take all the pleasure out of mostly pleasant dating!

[milee30]

Lol.

Tinder bears as much resemblance to dating as the phrase “Netflix and chill” bears to watching a movie/TV.

[abasket]

Well, people on posts #3, 9, 19, 20 and 30 all had lasting luck with finding a good relationship on Tinder!

You’re doing a disservice to those people by demeaning what worked for people important to them.

I also won’t think less of a relationship that was a result of a drunken bar night. Relationships have various and sometimes different starts.

[intparent]

My niece found a decent rebound relationship on Tinder. ButI agree that it has a reputation more as a hookup app.

[SatchelSF]

Well, people on posts #3, 9, 19, 20 and 30 all had lasting luck with finding a good relationship on Tinder!

And King Croesus cried out, “Oh Solon! Oh Solon! Oh Solon! Count no man happy until the end is known!” (Recounted by Herodotus.)

[MomofWildChild]

Well, everyone has their own experiences, but I assure you that my priest daughter wasn’t looking for hookups on Tinder and she met some lovely men before settling on her current boyfriend, who is on the nerdy side and was definitely looking for a serious relationship.

[PetraMC]

It was definitely a hookup app when it started but I hear it’s not (just) that anymore, just like Facebook isn’t only for college students and Snapchat has moved beyond nudes. Unless I’m mistaken, it’s the most active dating app with people that age, so you’re going to get all types.

He could try sizzle.com (for bacon lovers) or OnlyFarmers.com (if…he’s a farmer) if he wants to specialize.

[deb922]

And my husband picked me up at a bar! We’ve been married 30+ years so it worked.

And absolutely it was a meat market and that’s what I called it.

People laugh when I tell them that, because we are so not cool and never were.

[kelsmom]

My S met his GF on a dating site a few years ago - not Tinder, but some other site (either a site for people who don’t want kids or one that has filters for people who don’t want kids). They are really, really happy. S would not have met his GF any other way - dating sites seem to do the trick.

[raclut]

I keep hearing about this site called My Social Calendar. It’s about going to different fun activities and getting a chance to meet new people. It seems like it’s a bunch of group events where you get to socialize.

You mentioned living in a rural area. Do you think there is a chance he would consider a job in a city where there would be more opportunity to meet young people?

[Knitkneelionmom]

We have three successful relationships that started on Tinder in our family. One led to marriage and the other two have been in a relationship for a year or more. It is not just for hook ups. All live in big metro areas though.

[VaBluebird]

Hiking club, ski club, running group/club, environmental volunteerism, discussion groups, political groups, college alum group/outings etc… He’s very young.
My oldest son met his wife by a dating app, OK Cupid. Man, she is perfect for him. It is pretty uncanny. And now the mother of my second grandchild. He was much older by the time they met and very disillusioned by that point. The rest of us HIGHLY encouraged him to try one of the match apps. I personally know several marriages that came from them.

[HImom]

My relative’s relationships with Tinder–one she dated for close to 2 years and the other she’s now living with, after dating for over a year. I consider both of those relationships much more than a “one night stand” or “hooking up.” Both the the guys were very nice, handsome and well-educated.

[cbreeze]

I would say over 50% of the weddings I’ve been to the last 5 years, the couples met through dating apps. My niece and her husband met through Tinder, she is a successful millionaire entrepreneur and he is a radiologist. Like everything else, one has to be careful and use common sense no matter how you meet people.