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but it's hard for me to get past the feeling that it is a subservient response which just feels weird.
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Look at it this way…
In some languages, one uses the “formal” to address elders, authority figures, or simply adults that you don’t know.
When we travel to Spanish speaking countries, my H (fluent in Spanish) is always careful to use the formal when speaking to adults. To do otherwise, can be very insulting. My H isn’t being subservient, he’s respecting the culture.
My dad used to crack me up whenever we’d be somewhere like Home Depot or Sears Craftman tool area, and he needed to ask a question to whatever guy was working in the dept. He’s always address them as, “chief”…as in “Excuse me Chief, where is…”. When he visited the south, he changed that to, “Sir.” (And ma’am, when appropriate).
Living in the south means rarely having to open a door when there are men around…I kind of like that. And women certainly hold the door open for following people, and certainly open/hold doors for older folks and people with strollers/carts (aka buggies, in the south)
When in Rome, …