<p>However, if the mother has not already done so, she should lay out the financial parameters and say “we can only afford $X for your college” in order to eliminate the OP’s obliviousness toward college costs. (But also say, “you can go elsewhere if you can get the price below $X” – that is unlikely to happen, but it puts the responsibility back on the OP instead of being what seems to the OP to be arbitrary parental restrictions.)</p>