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Please don’t assume that you know what other parents “would like”. </p>
<p>I really like the level of respect and independence that exists in my family. I don’t expect my kids to tell me everything that goes on in their lives and that’s fine with me. I don’t tell them everything going on my life, either. </p>
<p>It has nothing to do with “trust”. On the contrary, I love and respect my kids enough to understand why they may sometimes elect to withhold information or try to resolve problems that come up in their lives without involving their parents. </p>
<p>Part of the way that my kids have established “trust” is when they choose to grant me access to sources of information about them – if they had something to hide, they wouldn’t do that. My son chooses to support himself, keep his academic records private, and let me have access to his banking records & email. (I never asked - he just sometimes has found it convenient to have me check on things for him when he’s been traveling and didn’t have internet access). My d. keeps her email private, but shares a bank account with me and gives me access to academic records in exchange for my paying the bill that comes from the bursar. I don’t see where there is a “trust” problem simply because they opt to allow me direct access to records.</p>