It is tough to even have in-school activities if the activities don’t coincide with bus schedules or if the school is a long walk from home after a full day of school and then activities. Being out of district must make that even harder.
Luckily for my kids, we lived within walking distance of the HS field and were able to carpool otherwise. That meant me going out of my way to pick up kids on my way home from work, stressful when unexpected traffic meant I was late. However, with my older two I also had a sitter that drove them around. It was costly, but necessary.
It certainly sounds like they have sufficient activities. Depth may often more important than breadth for the tippy top colleges. I actually know very few moms that did not work once their kids hit middle school. Some were home for taxi driving, but most were not. You are certainly not alone in that. We also had nothing like current services like Uber that could be used occasionally.
Good luck to your kids.