Be prepared. It sounds like your mother is upset about how her life turned out. It is in her best interest to see you stay home or in the area and be available for her. This may mean your chances to succeed are limited. She no doubt sees many people who have children who stay in the area. The problem with your state is that there are not many good opportunities for employment. They call it brain drain for a reason. Your ability to secure any help from her lies in convincing her that you will still visit and that its in her best interest to see you become a success in life. Try to make plans that include her. Sell her on the dream that you might one day have a great job and will be able to help her, or do something with her. While most parents want their kids to succeed, others find it painful if they do. Painful because it means leaving the area, becoming something other than a local townie. The other posters have given you plenty of good advice. You should do all you can (study hours a day) to improve your SAT and ACT scores. Get them as close to 2400 as possible. The higher they are the more money your instate school will offer you. Your state may also have specific scholarships that pay for everything at any instate school. Ask your GC. Contact the admission offices at the smaller state schools, work with them (someone mentioned Indiana State Uni? Schools like that). These smaller state schools might be very helpful if they can get a student with high stats to attend. I agree with the parents who say forget the car.
Just checked into this thread. I’m really sorry that you are in this position right now. Many parents are stuck in their ways and don’t realize it. And for some reason, they think that age automatically makes them smarter, when that could not be further from the truth. Have you tried visiting some schools on your list and maybe meeting with counselors there? Maybe they could speak with your mother and show her the many options you have. I also think that you should begin planting the idea in her head that you are becoming your own person. So maybe drop hints about wanting to study abroad or live in a different state as an adult. Do you live in Indiana? Have you looked into Bloomington? Maybe you should apply to different schools that you want and then apply to the ones she wants. For my family, it took me dragging my mother to Chicago to get some solid answer out of her.
@CaliCash The problem is that there is no in-state school I can afford safely, at least I think. She tells me one day she’s not going to help at all and the next that $15k a year is affordable. The closest school I can likely afford is Notre Dame and it’s for sure not one a school I want to go to. They’d also have to accept a NCP waiver and getting my mother to help with paperwork of any kind is tortorous. It took me almost two years to get her to fill out a NPC form.
Your comment about “she thinks older=smarter by default” sums her up pretty well.
@CaliCash, OP does not have the GPA to get merit aid at IU-Bloomington, and likely not Purdue. He may, however, for Indiana State, or Ball State, or one of the IU/Purdue satellite campuses.
@BurgerMan1, you might also consider Earlham, Hanover, and Valparaiso. You won’t pay the sticker price at any of those - although I don’t know if the final price will be affordable, either - at the small private LACs, the best you can do is apply, make yourself shine on the apps, and wait. But it’s my understanding that those three I mentioned would give decent merit aid to B+ students with your test scores. If their apps are free, they are definitely worth a shot, if you like the schools, too.
Also, it sounds like OP’s mom is waffling because she doesn’t have a definite answer yet - but ti sounds like she will, indeed, pay something toward your college costs. Have you told her yet you will forego the car and the expenses that go along with it, so that money can then go toward college expenses?
edited to add: I may be wrong about IU and merit aid - but based on recent experiences of a few students I know, who are incoming freshmen this year, it seems unlikely. But OP could go ahead and research more, and apply, to see what happens.
@BeeDAre She said the money has to go towards buying a vehicle or I won’t be getting the money at all.
Since a whole bunch of unexpected expenses have been piling up, I need to be prepared to finance my own education for maximum safety.
A lot of what she is saying is probably just empty threats. I got the same exact run around from my mom and it ended up being nothing at all.
The Navy is pretty safe.
I’d take her at her word when she says she won’t contribute to your college. If she does, then great but it is always going to be a struggle, every year, and it will wear you out. You need to look at schools that are in your area, including community colleges. Have you looked at the colleges that are free in exchange for work (Berea)? You may want to look at places that would love to have you like HBCU, the military, co-op schools where you can work for a semester, attend for a semester.
It’s not fair, but it’s your reality.
We spoke earlier about Wabash, and it still may be good to consider. If you live near one of the satellites of IU or Purdue they are worth considering. You can get a solid education and your diploma will say Purdue or IU regardless of campus. They are also very generous with AP credits, so you are already ahead of the game. I hate that you may need to do this slowly but it can be done. Ivy Tech, the junior college can be done with student loans entirely if you don’t qualify for grants. It is not ideal by any means, but they also have transfer agreements that make it a cheap alternative or the first two years. With your AP credits, you could probably get your AA in a year.
@MizzBee I’d probably have to get an apartment if I went to Ivy Tech and student loans won’t cover that.
Student loans do cover “room and board” (including an off-campus apartment) as a category. Are you saying you could not borrow enough to cover the cost of an apartment? That could certainly be true.
@ItsJustSchool Can I work full time while going to school full time? Loans would only play a third of estimated costs at Ivy Tech.
Everyone is different. I have heard advice that working 5-15 hours per week your first semester is all you should imagine; and that really should be an on-campus job (since demands ebb and flow with the school calendar, and you are not going to get fired for reducing your hours the week before finals).
You may want to think about the value of your degree in two ways: How fast you can pay back a loan at post-graduation salary versus how much you can earn while a college student at close to minimum wage; and the impact of working on your grades and subsequently on your job opportunities. Working full-time while attending school rarely makes sense from a return-on-investment analysis.
Similarly, with your ACT score, going to a community college may not be a good idea as most merit money is available for four years at the same school beginning freshman year. You may be better off going for a merit scholarship- reread the entire thread- especially #55, 63, and 91.
@ItsJustSchool I was just hoping there’d be a better plan (a miracle cure, if you will) than working a lot, taking out as many loans as possible, and praying that my mom helps out with costs.
It just seems like everyday at college is going to be packed to the brim and I’d have no time to decompress. Class, homework, study, work, research, internships, walking everywhere everyday for 4 years. How do people do this and get good grades without physically or mentally breaking down?
I just don’t think I’m ready or mature enough for that coming straight out of high school with no job or any timely obligations and barely being able to remain sane. How many gap years can I take before I become a “non-traditional student”? Is there some type of maturity pill I can take?
Is there a clear goal and why this goal cannot be accomplished by going to a state school on Merit scholarship?
By clear goal, I did not mean a major, I rather meant what the OP is going to do after college to be financially independent. College should provide a mean to accomplish that, to have a good job prospect. Math major is very good if you are very very good at math.
"You do NOT need a car at a 4-year college. "- it strongly depends on location. Choosing college based on criteria if you need a car there or not is not a good idea at all. In many places, while you will survive your first year without a car, continuously relying on somebody else to take you places is not a good idea either. And more so since you cannot rely on your parents. If you cannot rely on a parent to hop in a car and be there with you to take care of you, take you where you need to be (god forbid, it is a hospital or Emergency Room, several trips to a clinic…etc.), you definitely will need a car. I am not talking theoretically, I am talking from experience. Things happen, things that we wish do not happen, people get sick, sometime we get very sick and for relatively long (like few days) time. There are less dramatic events when you will need a car. But some locations might be better for a person without a car than others. Nobody is choosing a college based on that though.
Depending on where you are, you will most likely not need a car. In fact, at many colleges, I recommend not taking a car even if you have one. Student transportation is usually pretty good. In addition to that, public transportation will also be available on urban campuses. In many campuses, a car is really more work than its worth. Parking can be very expensive. As far as emergencies, they will most likely not happen and if, by chance, there really is a true emergency, call 911. If not, I’m sure someone will be able to take you in a semi-emergency (If you get sick). It is true that in some colleges you may need a car but in most cases, you probably wont.
Did you look into applying for Questbridge National College Match? It’s due September 28th.
The vast majority of International students somehow survive without cars, even at remote campuses like NM Tech.
There are more fun ways of adding several thousand per year in expenses.
^No car situation is OK in many crowded cities of the USA, but not in majority of the Midwest.