I’m getting ready to host two of ds’s friends for a week, and I’d most appreciate a thoughtful, hand-written note afterward. My older ds had three friends over recently for a BBQ, and the note they sent afterward was so special – warm, complimentary, specific. Learning how to write a good thank-you note is a wonderful skill.
“I believe that no one can have too many platters, serving pieces, or small bowls/trays. I also liked the idea someone mentioned of wooden serving spoons. I received wood salad servers years ago and love and use them still. Non-breakable items best for beach house, but does not need to be plastic.”
I think consumable gifts are a better idea. Who knows if these are people who intend to declutter, or the beach house is already the repository for tons of stuff. What about getting bagels and toppings delivered?
A handwritten note and something consumable – bottle of wine, good olive oil/balsamic vinegar if they like to cook, bottle of savon de marseille or other fancy hand soap. Your daughter can get a better of sense of what they would enjoy once she’s there, and you (or she) can send it after her visit. If your daughter is in an apartment or other housing with a kitchen, she could make some banana bread or brownies to take with her as a hostess gift.
I would decidedly not want someone buying me serving pieces. They won’t know my taste or what I have on hand or what my storage constraints are. I have a house full of all that stuff and now I am decluttering it all!
chinablue, I think that most hosts/hostesses will graciously accept any small gift that your D would choose. I wouldn’t worry too much about finding the perfect gift. If this family is at all like ours, just having their child’s friends come for a visit is a gift in itself.
Alwaysamom is right. Go buy some pretty soaps or a box of chocolates and call it a day.
My son goes to college a days drive away and has occasionally stayed with a local student. He gives them a jar or two of my homemade canned jams. I’ve also sent them for post-stay visits. If your daughter bakes, a homemade quick bread would be thoughtful and easy to do - one less something for the host family to make or buy.
I have a presents closet. I find truly great stuff and wrap them up with a post it telling me what is in the box. But fora major thank you my kids (and we) would bring a gift and then take the hosts out for breakfast (or dinner)
To be honest, it would never have occurred to me to send gifts to kids’ friends’ parents once they were college-aged. I do think that it’s their job at that age–and I raised them to know their obligations, but I just would have been surprised that anyone would have expected me to step in in their name. Not that there’s anything wrong with doing so. I just wouldn’t have expected it (from the parents) as a host, or done so as a parent.
I also think the thank you note is the most important thing. I have hosted many of D’s and S’s friends over the years. The best gift is having my kids home. Their friends are a bonus. My favorite hostess gifts to give and receive are Williams-Sonoma Lotion and Soap Sets. My kids will order them online and have them sent directly to their host/hostess. They don’t even use my credit card anymore… 
I’m a beach-house denizen who has hosted many of my daughters’ friends and what I most appreciate is when they bring their own beach towels!!! And when the early risers make conversation at breakfast even though the rest of the gang sleep right through breakfast.
"I have a presents closet. I find truly great stuff and wrap them up with a post it telling me what is in the box. "
I have a very good friend who is a gifter like this. She does find really great stuff. But it’s all still … Stuff, which I’m trying to cut down on. So there’s a little bit of internal tension to receive a really great X when I’m trying to get rid of all the X’s I own. I guess what I’m saying is – for the decluttering types, don’t be so sure that your “perfect gift” is as welcome as you think. The thought is, of course – which is why consumables (or a gift certificate to an experience) are a good idea. But not an expensive platter or something of that nature.
I sent a lovely gourmet non perishable food gift basket to be delivered during the visit from taste.com. I know my daughter will be a tidy, helpful, friendly guest who will write a thank you note when she gets back to school because she is just that kind of lady. Thanks for all of your ideas.
That sounds lovely! Never heard of taste.com - will have to check it out!
My daughter’s friend family hosted her during Thanksgiving weekend this past Nov. They were very nice to my daughter. We sent the family a Christmas gift basket from Costco with a TY note… I don’t think it matters what you will give as long as the appreciation from you and your daughter is communicated.