My condolences on your loss. Very tough time of year to lose family.
I like to believe there is a big family reunion on the other side.
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Hopefully, everyone had a nice holiday. My MIL hasnât left her AL facility in 11 months. My SIL wanted her to come to her house, 30 minutes away, for Thanksgiving. One of the aides got her out of bed and into some clothes (also something she doesnât often want to do). There were 11 people at SILâs, most of whom were my nephewâs in laws (MIL knows them a bit, but between having nothing in common with them & not being able to hear even with hearing aids, she had no interest in talking to them). When H talked to her yesterday, she said she was glad she went but didnât really enjoy herself. That would be because the cold she had ended up being RSV. She felt awful yesterday & is on oxygen and antibiotics today. She is on hospice, so there wonât be any hospital visit if she gets worse. Weâre hoping the antibiotics help her.
My MILâs AL facility is currently under quarantine because so many residents have RSV. Iâm glad that there is a vaccine now ⊠hopefully, our older loved ones will actually get it. MIL has been very sick, although she has seemingly turned the corner. My SIL is allowed a caregiver exemption to enter the facility, but only for a certain two hour period daily.
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It has been a bad respiratory illness season this fall. Between COVID, RSV, the new childrenâs pneumonia, and pneumonia in general, lots of people are sick. I personally would not enter a quarantined senior facility right now, too much chance of getting sick. As it is, my immediate family have all had a bug (not COVID) which began right before Thanksgiving.
My SIL, who is in her 70âs, seems to think sheâs invincible. I guarantee you she only wears a mask if someone in charge makes her ⊠and even then, itâs under her nose.
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Thatâs helpful for getting a handle on what things might cost.
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Helpful link - Thanks. Also good to have reminder that of those who need long term care (oooh - two thirds⊠yikes), most wonât have ultra long term needs - âAbout one in five people who need long-term care need it for more than five years and one in 10 need it for a decade or longer, according to the same federal data.â
This site is useful too because you can drill down by city/region. Cost of Long Term Care by State | Cost of Care Report | Carescout
i was curious about the accuracy, so I looked up my parentsâ zip code and it highlights the difficulty with generalized information. The closest numbers were for a major city 60 miles away from their rural town, and that set of numbers were about half of what we know to be the actual costs we (and other families in their town) experienced. Not that it isnât helpful to have at least some idea, and rural areas canât be included, not enough data.
Itâs the uncertainty that leads to stuff like my Mom, who survives my father, having lots of money they saved for their elder years but sheâs too afraid to spend it lest she outlive it. And she wonât say it outloud, but I also see her thinking that if she hurried up and died, she cohld leave it all to her grandsâŠ
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Yea, when I put in my town it gives figures but says they are from the bigger town 20 miles away. But⊠the granularity can be helpful to differentiate cities and rural (with results not always expected). I think perhaps data old though based on the 2021 etc decade markings on chart.
Certainly agree that the costs can be shocking, especially to older generations who earned less and have a hope to leave money to family.
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One typically expects costs of elderly help/aid etc. as well as AL and other facilities to be more expensive in a city area versus more rural areas - but always âit dependsâ.
I end up having a parathyroid issue that needs surgery. Had to rule out Vitamin D deficiency, but Medicare will not cover Vitamin D lab testing, so of course my Blue Cross/Blue Shield C+ supplement wonât cover it either. I signed off having the lab test run as I knew my Endocrinologist would not have ordered it if it wasnât needed. However when the hospital lab tries to bill me for full cost, I plan to negotiate to pay what Blue Cross would have paid if they were primary insurance. I know how these costs are âreasonableâ with the insurance payment rate.
Endocrinologist and I discussed how so many of her patients donât understand what she needs to order, and how the insurance companies try to get between the patients and her. Of course she is dealing with a lot of diabetic management and people with chronic illnesses. She was glad to have a patient who understood all the ins and outs. Besides my BSN, I worked in insurance and risk management when DRG (diagnostic related groups) came along (1983 time frame), and later was CFO and Administrator of a physician specialty group.
I manage DHâs and my medical stuff, including having updated medical information in a canvas carrying bag for each of us. We have fairly good medical care, but it helps to know and understand everything going on as well as understanding the medical systems of health care in our area. I trusted one MD specialist and absolutely regretted it!
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This may be a tough read for some, but Diana Riggâs daughter is brutally honest about her momâs end of life: âNobody speaks about thisâ: Diana Rigg made impassioned plea for assisted dying law before death | Diana Rigg | The Guardian.
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This was my tough read this month. It made me thankful that my mother, a long time advocate of assisted suicide, did not have a need/request for it. This author usually writes fiction, but this book is about her husbandâs Alzheimerâs and their trip to Switzerland (Dignatas) where it is legal. Tricky stuff for those who want that⊠there is a window of time where there is still enough ability to decide for self. Lots of documentation etc.
In Love: A Memoir of Love and Loss - Amy Bloom - Google Books
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After a week of sustained, new, back pain, I put a message in to Momâs back doctor (who adminsters Prolia shots and watches the bloodwork).
Doctor messages back that originally Mom rated her pain at 7/10 so 9/10 doesnât represent anything new, doctor is not a pain specialist so we should get a consult with a Ortho doctor.
I message back thanks, but we were looking for something more practical. Doctor responds that Mom canât have more than 2000mg of tylenol a day, try heating pad.
Call the PCP, leave messages. Many phone trees later, PCP says we should talk to Ortho. They call again, and say Ortho and Pain Management arenât the same, which do we want. I say, you said Ortho? They say, well, the bone doctor gets to decide.
I say, bone doctor wants us to see ortho and arrange it ourselves with a practice 2 hrs away. Thereâs a ortho/pain specialist HERE in TOWN. PCP office says, well, weâll see what we can do.
Doctor just called to say they called in a script for Tramadol. I called the store : Pharmacy says they donât have that until later. this. weekâŠ
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So frustrating!!
Oh man, sorry so many hurdles. Hope the med comes in early.
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My FIL broke three vertebrae, and no one knew right away. He had lots of new pain, and his PCP just said that it was due to his existing issues. When we finally got the go-ahead for an x-ray, the reason for his pain was clear. Make sure that doctors donât just assume itâs how it is, especially if she has severe osteoporosis (as my FIL did).
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@greenbutton my mom had a burst fracture in her back last year.
Calling her PCP was absolutely no help.
We finally took her to the emergency department. Once there, we were finally able to get help. They gave her a MRI, got her on pain medication and finally help.
Would she go to the emergency department? Could she have fractured something?
Edited to say that I said finally a lot! The ED was such a relief after a week of extreme frustration
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