Wonderful that you’re there. Peace be with you today. Best wishes to enjoy this good news today.
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My mom is addicted to her bed, even when coaxed across the room to her little loveseat area. Preferred had her doctor ask for PT, which she just started 3x/wk. If nothing else it gets her up for some time. Best of luck to you and your dad.
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Yes, he doesn’t even have to stand up to urinate! Guys have it so easy. 
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Actually, you are very lucky in that regard. My MIL’s falls have all been at night, when she gets up to go to the bathroom. We got her a commode chair & put it next to her bed - but she won’t use it. She doesn’t want to bother staff to clean it up … we remind her how much she pays a month for people to take care of her. Once upon a time, that would have led to her using that thing nightly to get her money’s worth, but money doesn’t motivate her anymore. (Good thing she doesn’t have any access to her accounts.)
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My mom took a while to warm up to the bedside potty, but eventually they get so tired that they relent. At least my mom did. For her, it was pride. Once she started using it, she denied it was her 
but that might’ve been the dementia.
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My mother’s solution is to refuse to drink anything at all. She’s always dehydrated, by choice.
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MIL has used it exactly once in the two years it has been next to her bed. She is reminded about using it, but she’s stubborn. I guess she feels that she doesn’t have much dignity left as it is.
My SIL’s mother’s demise was from fall on the way to the commode during the night and broke her hip. Her circulation was bad from being a long-time smoker (many times avoided amputation of lower limbs due to needed circulatory surgeries). These older people bought a two story house that was available very near their son - and it is like “what are they thinking?” but their family didn’t dissuade them from the home purchase.
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MIL seems to have had another stroke. H talked to her today, and it was pretty scary. She was not sure of much, other than the fact that SIL brought her donuts this afternoon (she couldn’t remember what kind, though). After his sister left his mom’s place, she called him to talk. Things are nearing the end, but that may take time. SIL has an appointment with an oncologist in a week & a half as a follow up to a mammogram she just had. She is not going to be able to deal with everything with MIL if she does have cancer & all that entails … but there is no way MIL can survive a (very long) move closer to us. Ugh. This is a difficult point for them. While we don’t know for sure what is going on with SIL, the fact that she is having an oncology consult isn’t a good omen. 2025 is shaping up to be a tough year already. H isn’t having an especially merry Christmas, unfortunately.
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Oh dear. That sounds really hard. Hope things turn out as well as possible.
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Wanted to post this item (Able Life Universal standing assist - frame like thingy with handles) that my cousin helped my 97 year old father order. Yesterday my kids (visiting him in ny) assembled it. It is such a good help to him for standing up that I just ordered a second one for a different chair.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/r.html?C=1GDZONJ9HF37K&K=1DXPH65X73NRK&M=urn:rtn:msg:202412260018322f1bf1eac1f34b4c8b0a7238c750p0na&R=QZW7G0R7I68P&T=C&U=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fdp%2FB00I45JJRS%2Fref%3Dpe_386300_440135490_TE_simp_item_image&H=OTJWXPCY6APBTGWDJF92FL2Q9WGA&ref_=pe_386300_440135490_TE_simp_item_image
screenshot
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Oh that’s a lot. Make sure someone checks to rule out a UTI .
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They did, and she had one. She has been on antibiotics. I think that the stroke is on top of the UTI that may not be entirely cleared up.
On top of all this, H took one of our cats to the vet for a seemingly minor issue Christmas Eve, only to find out that he has a very fast growing lymphoma in his belly. We have him scheduled for an ultrasound Monday, but it’s not looking good. When it rains, it pours.
We usually go to see his mom together. The drive is long & goes through mountains. H is going to have to go alone this time so I can stay with the cat - he’s H’s buddy, and if I leave a sick cat alone, it’ll be more stress for H (who gets more emotional as he ages). So he’ll fly this time, which means staying with his S & BIL … and that has its own set of issues. Ugh.
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about your kitty.
Thanks. My H is taking it especially hard. I feel so bad for him. He got this cat after his dad died, so this is just too much on top of his mom & his sister’s health issues.
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By the way, speaking of recliners, I was in search of one for myself that wasn’t too wide. I found it at Raymour & Flanigan and it’s wonderful. Very basic though; no stick on the side.
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We had the most wonderful Christmas in Austin. Niece has a new husband and nephew has a new fiancée. Those four plus my two “kids” made for a lot of positive energy. My ill son did amazingly well. He looked “normal” all week, which is saying something. Happy and no glazed look. 
Sis and I took our two daughters (the cousins are a couple of months apart in age and very close) to the San Antonio River Walk Thursday through Saturday (I highly recommend a visit there, such fun). On Friday, we got a call that they took Dad to the ER - long story short, his c diff was not eradicated by the first antibiotic. Fortunately, the doctor released him after a few hours with a script for a different antibiotic. I hope it works.
In a new development, Dad’s ladyfriend talked to my sister and me yesterday and said she plans to propose marriage to him. She said she won’t convert to his denomination, which in the past my dad has said is a necessity for him to consider marrying her. I don’t think she really understands how strict and inflexible this group is. It really is almost a cult. Dad will either say no and hurt her, or somehow rationalize that marrying “outside the church” is OK. If he takes the second option, it will be very hard for my sister and me to stomach, since he held my mom and us to an incredibly legalistic standard our whole lives. He’s still upset that my sister switched to a more “liberal” congregation over 20 years ago! And when I told him in 1985 that I was marrying DH (seriously one of the most godly men I’ve ever met), at first Dad said he wouldn’t come to our wedding. Ironically, DH attended the same denomination that Ladyfriend does! It’s kind of ironic.
Ugh. Oh, well, I can’t do anything about it so I will try not to worry.
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How do you think your dad will respond to her asking him, knowing how old-fashioned he is?
I really don’t know. If I had to guess, I would say not well, but I know he really cares for her a lot. As my sister said, whatever happens, it will be interesting!
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So glad you had such a nice visit. And so cool that your ill kid did so well.
Wondering which would be worse church-offense for your Dad…. marrying outside his denomination or considering living together without marrying.
And of course if he does opt to marry, do ensure the proper pre-nup etc paperwork.
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