Random updates:
As of yesterday, my father has been moved off of hospice and on to home care. This will allow him to receive in-home PT and OT. The short-term goal is to get him strong enough to stand with assistance (right now, he has no quad strength at all and has to be lifted and held up, an impossible task for my mother, obviously). A longer goal would be to get him into a sub-acute rehab facility so he could walk again. I’m not sure we’ll get there, but it is worth trying.
As expected, his attitude about living, and mental clarity in general, has fluctuated, but I would say overall the trend is heading in the right direction. My mother told me that Saturday was the best day she’s had with him in ages. He was clear-headed and kind in a way that he hasn’t been in at least a year. Yesterday he was very depressed and negative and waffling a bit about whether it was worth it to try to get better, but he is not refusing to eat (though, his sense of taste is messed up and everything tastes very unpalatable, so he’s not eating much at any given meal. He’s trying, though).
We are replacing the 24/7 aide. He has been a great help, and is very competent, but his English is almost non-existent, and at this point, I think my father needs some mental stimulation as much as he needs the physical care. He has always been an extrovert and gets some energy from being around people. He is still unable to read and not much of a tv watcher - he really needs someone to talk to. While my mother is there, it is not enough. After 61 years, there’s not always a lot to talk about. So, she found someone that a friend of a friend used. He is a 62 year old man, very kind and chatty and seems game to talk about anything from history, politics, current events, books….basically all of the things my father enjoys talking about. So, I think the change will be a good one. As a bonus, he is also significantly less expensive than using the aide through an agency.
I had my daughter come and give him a haircut yesterday to help him look a little like his old self. I’m going to talk to my mom about making some changes that signal an attempt at getting better, rather than dying. I want her to get a portable commode. Right now, he’s in a diaper. I think it would do a lot for his dignity and overall outlook about getting better to feel like he’s has some agency over this. I also want her to rent a ramp for the steps to the house. While he can be wheeled out on to the back deck, he can’t be transported out of the house. No wonder he’s feeling like his life is very diminished right now. If he could stand, he could be moved from wheelchair to the car - I think even just a car ride to see the outside world again would do wonders for him.
On a final note, yesterday the visiting nurse pointed out the mottling on my father’s knees as a sign that his body may be starting to shut down (though his oxygen levels and blood pressure both have been great). So, all of this may be for naught, but it still feels better to be trying to improve the situation.
so I don’t think it is that. I think it is likely just related to the brain trauma of the surgery. My D24 had parosmia after having Covid some years ago. Everything tasted like rotting meat to her for nearly a year. The brain did eventually fix itself in her case. I am hopeful his will, too.
