I think there may be a hearing aid thread but I can’t find it - my mom has pretty severe hearing loss and I think it’s contributing both to her cognitive decline as well as her inability to make friends at the assisted living place (and trouble keeping old friends who come to visit or call her). I know over the counter aids are really for people with mild to moderate loss but there is no way I’m paying thousands of dollars for prescription aids with no guarantee she will use them. Nor, I suspect, will she cooperate with going to an audiologist. So I want to buy a relatively inexpensive (no more than $300 preferably, less is fine) over the counter pair and tell her she has to wear them at least a few hours a day (she usually does things if I tell her she has to though not always). Anyone have success with a brand/model? They should be super simple to use, don’t need any bells or whistles, and battery recharging should be easy. Or if this is a bad idea feel free to tell me that. Thanks!
It really depends on your mom’s hearing loss. Some folks have found one of the Apple earpods to be helpful as a hearing aid but my H hated the high pitched sounds that they sometimes emitted (yes, we bought and he had us return to BestBuy). Some insurers do reimburse a portion of the price of the hearing aid. It may be worth exploring that. My folks and H have hearing aids. They have to be turned ON or they don’t help. Mom and dad had trouble turning them on. H generally doesn’t wear his all that much, but it does help when he does and he can follow the conversations better. Costco sells hearing aids at the best prices and gives a 90 day free trial (if you don’t like them AND haven’t lost them, you can bring them back for a full refund). That maybe a good way to give them a try. H lost his the day he got them, so he got the Costce free replacement but then was locked in & couldn’t return them.
Thanks. I don’t know that she’d do well with an EarPod but that’s definitely a thought. No Costco anywhere near us unfortunately. Most likely I will have to order.
My MIL won’t go to an audiologist, so we have tried a number of OTC hearing aids on her. For her, the basic Costco hearing aids are best. We tried the kind that you can control with an app, but she can’t use the app - and no one will use it for her when family isn’t there. She needs to be able to at least sort of hear at meals. She refused to wear them for too long, and the social isolation really contributed to an overall decline. The AL attendants know that they need to put them in her ears when they dress her … and there are signs around the room to remind them.
Any hearing aid is best if adjusted periodically. If patient won’t cooperate, it’s extra challenging. So sorry! Sorry Costco isn’t an option—worked great for our family, so much so that when 5 years had elapsed, we went back to Costco for a new pair of aids for my folks. Insurer paid 30%, I think.
Yes, we wrote out a list of tasks for the aides to do, including turning on hearing aids & having mom wear them. It helped. Also reminders to put aids back in recharger each night.
Both my in-laws have hearing aids but they don’t seem to wear them very often.
@MaineLonghorn sending healing thoughts your way. It’s hard being far away and also feeling divided when you also have work plus challenges at home.
My MiL had expensive audiologist adjusted hearing aids but she wouldn’t wear them regularly, and they had tiny tiny batteries that were impossible to change. Then she got OTC ones which are more of a blunt instrument, but she loses them, forgets to charge them, won’t wear them, still insists (as does FIL) that she doesn’t need them.
My mom wore her hearing aids all the time. She was very devoted to hearing well.
She had 3 pairs over the years. Her least favorite were the pair from Costco. She just didn’t think she heard the best in them.
My husband has hearing aids which he wears sporadically but is getting better since he had them adjusted recently. He’s going to get a new pair, the audiologist says that there have been advances recently, they should be better in crowds and will have Bluetooth
It’s hard when they won’t wear them, something I see a lot of from friends and family.
Doesn’t help that they are expensive, insurance doesn’t cover and then you have to wear them for them to be effective.
No advice for an inexpensive pair.
Even OTC hearing aids need to fit properly. I’m not sure how you would do that if you order by mail.
My FIL had expensive hearing aids that he wore. But he also had dementia, and his acuity was not the issue…it was the processing of what he heard that was the issue.
My MIL tried wearing my FILs aids after he died. That didn’t work well…at.all. She has since been fitted with expensive aids at least three times…and one always goes missing.
Other family members thought the aids were the solution to MIL and FIL and their lack of interaction with others. I took a lot of flack because I suggested that might not be the case.
So, @Juno16 I would try to get some buy in from your parent before I get any kind of hearing aid. Discuss the possible benefits with them. Then talk locally and see where you can get OTC aids local to you.
My opinion.
Best if you can drag her to an audiologist. Both Sam’s and Costco have services, BJ’s has some over the counter type but no service.
My dad said he didn’t need them either. Until I refused to answer his questions in anything less than normal speaking voice. Told him I was tired of yelling and I was doubly sure the constant repeating wasn’t doing anything positive for our relationship. I was DONE! And as a caregiver you literally give up explaining anything or trying to have a conversation. Multiply that by all the daily interactions.
When we did finally go to the audiologisti (yes, he caved) it was such a breakthrough moment! The audiologist tuned him in and then asked me to speak (I was behind him in the room) and he heard me loud and clear. He was thrilled.
Couple things that you may already have discovered. The most expensive ones are very small and while that’s nice for younger people with more hand dexterity they aren’t necessarly the best choice for the elderly. My dad’s were pretty big but it made them easier for him to handle. He had no problem taking care of them. They hung around his ear vs going inside (which bothers a lot of people–so apple might not be a good choice). He could change the batteries but I did that mostly. The next generation were rechargeable and he was able to figure that out.
You do need decent ones. Background noise etc is a real deal breaker for most. I tried some cheaper over the counter ones for my mom years prior and while she was excited to try them they ended up a waste of money.
I know they can be expensive but being able to hear is huge for cognitive decline and socialization. And it’s important for everyone around them–without hearing you can’t call knowing they understand, doctor’s appointments, aides etc. Without being able to hear it’s just “smile and nod” all the time until they drift off.
My mother was in memory care from age 99 to 101. She was essentially deaf without her hearing aids. I can’t tell you how many times I went to visit her and found that the caregivers had put the hearing aids in the wrong ears or had forgotten to put them in the charger overnight. Now and then she’d lose one because it fell out (because it was in the wrong ear). I spoke to the aides, put up signs in her room and left notes on her nightstand but it didn’t really help. There was a lot of turnover at the facility and as soon as one helper knew how to handle them, there would be someone new 
.
The last two pair my mom wore had rechargeable batteries. It was easy to put them in their case to charge.
Much easier than my husband’s which have small batteries. The pack they come in is almost impossible to open. Requires scissors and a lot of dexterity. I guess they changed the cases they came in because too many dogs and kids were eating them. The downside is that no one can get them open now.
What I’m trying to describe
Don’t get hearing aids that require small hard to open and install batteries
The ones with batteries never worked out well for my folks. My dad would change HIS batteries on HIS aids but not mom’s so mom’s aids didn’t work because batteries were always dead. When they got rechargeable ones, that was better, WHEN they wore them and turned them on AND they were charged (yes, many steps).
My brother bought over-the-counter cheap amplifiers. I tried using them (I have normal hearing) but they didn’t amplify anything, so I thought they were worse than worthless and no one ever used them!
My mom didn’t struggle with cognitive decline until very close to her death. I’m sure that helped with her doing well charging her hearing aids.
I can understand that it would have been very difficult to remember all the steps.
Mom got a new emergency alert button very close to her death. She couldn’t remember how to operate. It was on the charger when she needed it at the end of her life.
My mom would NEVER push a button to summon anyone. We tried repeatedly to explain it to her but she never wanted to “bother” anyone and was unable to ever push to get assistance at any time in the hospital or in the CCRC. Someone had to be with her and tell the staff that she needed help.
My MIL, too. We keep telling her that the staff are employees that she is paying, not neighbors she is asking for a favor. She insists that others need the staff more than she does (doubtful). It’s also a contributing factor to why she has yet another UTI. We can’t force her to ask for help, unfortunately.
My mom refuses help all the time. Local discovered yesterday that she has escalated from wearing 2 depends, to having on one and then one on each leg, sliding out the bottom of her pants. She insisted she needed them “one for each leg”. Staff come every morning to help her dress, ever 2 hours to help with the bathroom and 95% of the time she rejects all help. Wouldn’t want to be a bother.
My mom would happily take their help. She wants the help but complains they don’t come. She’s never figured out how to call on the phone though and I think she thinks the call button around her neck is really for emergencies so she just waits for them to show up. Which is infrequent and not on a schedule. Thanks for all the advice on hearing aids - wish we had a Costco nearby but it’s at least an hour away in an area/city I don’t know well and never go to. We do have a BJs closer but pretty sure they don’t have audiology and the one year I was a member I decided it really wasn’t a good deal.
My MIL finally moved into an assisted living community after years of honestly just being stubborn and demanding a lot of time and energy from her three children. She is in a wheelchair ( after years of refusing physical therapy) and has no bladder control. After a week of three meals a day, a trip to the movies, casino night, an ice cream social and a football party, what did she say to my H the other day?
“ So this is my life now?”
I truly admire anyone who can hear that comment and still smile. I’m just not made of that stuff. I’m just at the beginning of the journey with my own mother and it’s going to be a rough ride!
Dad has been moved from ICU to a regular room. As usual, he has rebounded remarkably well and amazed the doctors! He’s been off all oxygen for short periods and done fine. His pneumonia is much better.
The only remaining issue is his swallowing. He didn’t pass the test yesterday. They will try to keep working with him, but he’s not very alert - for some reason, every time he’s in the hospital, he sleeps almost non-stop. My sister told them they should throw something at him - he used to throw chalks at his students to wake them up in class. 
The doctor asked if Dad would want hospice, because his quality of life won’t be great if he needs a stomach tube. We know Dad, though - he will prefer a tube to death.
The speech therapist said there’s still a danger of aspiration even with a feeding tube, if the person doesn’t sit up at a 90 degree angle. Ugh.