<p>I agree that as a first-gen with 2300 SATs, you have a shot at some very selective colleges—assuming your HS grades, class rank, and ECs are also first-rate. But it seems to me the first hump you need to get over is getting your parents to agree that you should go to college at all. You can worry later about how far up in the academic food chain to aim, once your parents are on board with the idea.</p>
<p>Understand that when you’re 18, you’re legally an adult for most purposes, and your parents can’t legally stop you from going to college. But this is going to be much easier if you have their approval and cooperation, or at least their acquiescence. Among other things, colleges can’t give you financial aid without your filing a FAFSA, which requires a lot of detailed financial information that only your parents have. But beyond that, you don’t want to tear your family apart in this process.</p>
<p>So the first question you have to ask is, why are they so resistant? Is it that they just don’t see the value of higher education, never having experienced it and having been reasonably successful themselves without it? Is it that they fear “losing” you if you move away from home and become acculturated in other communities with other mores and values? Is it that they have insecurities about your ability to succeed in the world of higher education, which they express as disdain for the educational enterprise itself? Is it that they hear stories about sex, drugs, and alcohol abuse on campus and believe that’s not a morally fit environment for you? Do they just think it’s just a big waste of money for someone like you who is positioned to eventually take over the family business? Is it just that your father has worked hard to build up a successful family business with the dream of passing it on to his children, and is insulted if that is not of interest to you? Some combination? All these views are common in immigrant communities of various stripes. You’re not the first to go through this, and you won’t be the last. But I think you need to sort through these views, and address them. And you need some help.</p>
<p>Are there others in your ethnic group, neighborhood, or religious community (if any) who might have more enlightened views on higher education, whom your parents would trust?
Other extended family members or family friends who have gone to college, or are currently sending their kids? Other business owners whom they respect, who have gone to college or sent their kids to college? I agree that your school GC could be helpful here, or perhaps some of your teachers; talk to them. If your school has parent-teacher conferences, you might ask some of your teachers put in a good word for you, explaining to your parents that you are a very talented student for whom the sky is the limit in educational attainment, and that they hope you have the opportunities to make the best of your talents. That kind of flattery may be helpful. And you might think about educational options that are less threatening to your parents: looking at schools closer to home, or in communities where there are others of your ethnic group or religious persuasion (if that’s an issue). Or think about taking a gap year (but you don’t need to tell your parents it’s a gap year) in which you take just a couple of classes at a local community college, to warm them up to the idea of your taking classes. You could even make some of those classes things they might see some practical value in, like, say, an accounting class. You can get a toe in the academic waters this way, and if you limit the number of credit hours you take you can still apply to a 4-year college as a freshman. The ultimate leverage you have is that they really can’t call the shots in your life anymore after you’re 18, but it’s probably best not to start with a lot of threats, because going to college is going to be much easier with their cooperation and financial support than if you cut the apron strings prematurely.</p>