My parents are Japanese, both with PhD’s. That’s no small thing, especially for my mother, who was 15 when Japan surrendered. They are firm believers of “the best education possible, at all costs” because their families lost everything in WWII and their education was one of the few things no one could take away. My mother tells the story of how, being the oldest and a girl, she was forced to drop out of high school and get a job. She ended up taking a civil servant test and got a government job because she placed first and that job allowed her to pay the fees to finish high school at night and go on to college. They also believe in self-sufficiency; saving for what you need. Whether this is “right” or “wrong” with respect to the American education system, it’s how they have lived.
I don’t know that they would have ever refused to pay for a school that they didn’t think was good enough – I certainly didn’t have the guts to test that premise – but I’m sure they would have taken out second mortgages, liquidated investments, whatever it took, to send me to the best school I got into. For them, being the “top” is something worth striving for, because it obviously made a difference in their lives. And “best” from their perspective would have meant the most selective. Of course, big sacrifices weren’t necessary because they saved diligently for my college expenses; it wouldn’t have occurred to them to expect financial aid.
I don’t have quite the same guiding principles… I’m definitely “American” in this. But obviously, my upbringing has had significant influence. I’m puzzled by those who seem to resent the fact that others get more financial aid than they do; that those able to pay are “penalized” for saving. I feel the complete opposite. We’re not wealthy. I’m a single mother, my annual income is just over $100K, my ex has never paid child support. I’m damn proud of the fact that I can afford to encourage my son to shoot for his dream school. We’ve applied for financial aid but are realistic in our expectations. I’ve saved money and I drive a nearly 10 year old car with well over 100K miles on it. I’m perfectly OK with that.
However people evaluate school choices and whether the costs are worth the value is really up to them, and it’s not up to me to criticize their priorities. But I do think you have to take ownership of your own priorities.