<p>I work in a middle school and see parents in denial pretty regularly. Actually, I think most parents hold their kids accountable, but the ones who don’t are in for some big problems down the road.</p>
<p>I have given this a lot of thought and in some cases I think that the parents who are most likely to blame everyone else but the kids are parents whose self esteem is based on their kid. Subconciously - “If my kid misbehaves, that must mean I am a bad parent. Since I don’t want to be a bad parent, it must be other reason why my kid has a problem.” So it is the school’s fault or the police departments or the mean neighbor next door or the other kids, etc. Is some ways, it is the flip side of parents that we occassionally see here on CC. These are the parents who feel validated by how good their kids are. Again, subconciously - “If my kid gets accepted to a premiere college, it shows everyone what a great parent I am.” So I think there is a group of parents whose kids are problems partly because the parents are overinvested in them, not underinvested. </p>
<p>The second main group I see are the parents who love their kids but are so overwhelmed with their own issues that they don’t see what is happening. The kids are left to their own devices way too much.</p>
<p>And I see another group who tries as much as they can, but they just have poor parenting skills. Unfortunately, they often don’t see that they have poor skills so don’t take action to try and change how they parent.</p>
<p>The most frustrating group are the no-shows, who don’t really care. These are the kids that I feel the worst for. Fortunately, I don’t have too many of them for they are the ones who tear my heart out.</p>