<p>^^^“Families need to be supportive no matter how old/ young the members are”. This was exactly my point.</p>
<p>Times have changed as far as 18 year olds being able to put themselves through school while working part-time. In my generation, I had to do that because my parents had a houseful of children and they couldn’t really help, although I lived at home and they provided housing, meals and support until I could live with roommates.</p>
<p>My daughter’s HS friend “Jae” was admitted to Berkeley for fall 2012 admission. It was the only school she was admitted to because she also attempted the IVIES and the local UC but didn’t get in. (She didn’t apply to our local cal states). Jae was told by her parents that they wouldn’t pay for Berkeley, so Jae attempted to try to find scholarships to attend. </p>
<p>The family’s income made Jae ineligible for most of the need-based scholarships and the merit scholarships were too competitive. She was desperate to go to Berkeley and started asking us, parents of her friends, for loans. We all had children going to their campuses and we couldn’t/wouldn’t help. </p>
<p>During semester breaks, my daughter’s group of friends would meet but couldn’t discuss their schools in front of Jae since this would cause Jae to become extremely upset (tears). Jae called me once, after a group get-together, to ask why some parents were so supportive of their children and others weren’t. I didn’t know what to say and that’s exactly what I told her.</p>
<p>In the end, Jae went to the local community college and was recently admitted to the local UCSD. Which is what her parents originally wanted. They will be paying for her education, but the cost is high because “Jae” is a very bitter child. She is not on speaking terms with her parents and has her brother speak to them for her. </p>
<p>At a recent group get-together, Jae told my daughter that as soon as she is employed, she is moving as far away as she can from her parents. I don’t know if that will really happen, but I somehow believe some of that to be true.</p>