I’m really banking on my guidance counselor explaining it to them. I could also talk to my track coach too. But I think any attempt would be in vain. My parents grew up in the late 60s/early 70s and they still think that a high school education is like a PHD.
I don’t think going away is an issue for them, I mean my parents told my brother and I that once we got to 18, we were done and were out on our butts, no exceptions. I’ve been paying my own way since I was 12, and my parents have never really given us anything, so I think its just the opposite that they want me gone and out of their lives for good.
I actually brought up community college when they said no to me going to University, and he said the same thing. Basically that any education beyond high school is completely unnecessary and that I don’t need it.
I don’t want to think that they hate me, as I’d like to think that I’m their son and they do care about me. and haven’t given them a reason to disappoint them. I can tell you that there is absolutely zero chance they will lend me money for college. My parents wouldn’t even pay for supplies for middle or high school. I was responsible for it all.
I think it may be past FAFSA deadline, but I’m not sure. I think you need to contact Financial aid directly. offices directly I had to contact FA for a few colleges due to COVID and my parents being out of work now. Each school came up with grant $$ for me. (varying amounts) You may be pleasantly surprised. Just be honest with them.
Also, if you are this determined to go to college without any financial or emotional support… I believe you are going to go so far in life. As long as your not in major debt, a few small loans will be ok.
I don’t think I’m in the top 10%. I’m filling out the application for the STEM application. I took AP History, and scored a 3. Which I guess isn’t great, but its passable, so perhaps with my GPA and SAT, it could help.
Although its not set in stone, I’m probably getting kicked out in June. Unless, according to dad "I have a full time labor job “with benefits, or I’m joining the military, I’m out on the streets.” (not doing either of those by the way). They’re going to find out tomorrow once my counselor contacts them. Theres nothing they could really take from me, everything is mine that I paid for, even my car is in my name, So I’ll be set with my belongings.
My best friend said I could stay with him, he leaves for New Paltz in August, So I’m planning on moving in with him after graduation.
Oh and mom and dad are asking for 20% of what they pay per month, don’t really know what that is, but I’m already paying about $300 a month with my phone and car insurance, so I’d be looking at enough to not be able to save for college while living there.
Ask your guidance counselor about GAP year. It is a real thing, postponing starting ANY college level courses will preserve your Freshman status. Colleges give their best scholarships to incoming Freshman, and not much at all to Transfer students.
Weigh your options for college (and for having a place to live during a GAP year). College Admissions will want you to explain what you did during your GAP year, and your situation will easily explain why you sat out a year, and you will have earned more money to put towards your education.
There are many different ways to get from high school graduation to college graduation. Some involve a lot more determination, grit, hard work, and patience. Do not give up.
Do you belong to a church? If so, you may find help in a trusted adult there. What about sports coaches? Anyone who can see past the limitations of settling for a high school education in your town?
Go ahead and collect letters of recommendation now, to save for next year’s college application cycle. Finding people who care about you, and who will give you good advice in real life is a good thing to focus on.
Best of luck to you. I can sense you will find ways to reach your education goals.
Yes I agree, I think taking out loans for school in this case is like “paying it forward”. A little bit of debt will pay off SO much in the long run when I have a steady income. I’m calling financial aid tomorrow while I’m with my guidance counselor and explaining why I couldn’t fill out FAFSA, maybe they can understand the situation.
Definitely determined! Working in pure filth and feeling dead after working in the sun for hours and hours since I was 12 makes me know what I DON’T want to do for my life.
I don’t think it’s a bad idea, especially with all the points you brought up. I just don’t want there to be a drop off from not being in school for a year. Of course saving would be a huge plus for me and my circumstances would be a great idea. Definitely something to consider if all options fail.
I DO have lots of teachers and coaches who said they would be “delighted” to write letters of recommendation for me. So I will absolutely reach out to them.
I wouldn’t recommend a GAP year in this economy right now. I would start with your counselor and the FA offices. They will all want something in writing from you.
I really am pulling for you…too bad you didn’t go to your GC sooner, you could have qualified form Posse (full ride) I have a friend with similar stats…hard life, no support. He’s going to Vanderbilt on Posse and another going to Chicago. A classmate last year went to Lafayette. All full ride.
Is your GC helpful? maybe discuss Posse and see if they can help in any way.
So far, all of your comments are absolutely wonderful!! I greatly appreciate the tips everyone is giving!! As it stands, a gap year is not an option for me right now as I’d like to start college this fall, whether it be a Community College or 4-Year University.
I will be meeting with my counselor tomorrow morning at 11. After the meeting, I will post back here and let everyone know how it goes!!!
Keep the input coming! I’ll take as much information as I can soak in!!! I live up to my personal commitments that’s the kind of person that I am, and I’m going to show my parents. They may not believe in me now or ever but I’ll prove it to everyone!!! Thanks for all of your support.
Just a suggestion, but it is really hard to be completely on your own at 18. I know you said you were not interested in the military, but it would provide support, some training, and a college education when you are discharged. We hire people all the time for very good salaries who got their start doing computer support work while enlisted. The other avenues seem far harder and riskier to me. Good luck.
And don’t forget that next year living on campus is not assured for anyone right now. It may be an online experience. So perhaps the SUNY Albany will be more affordable the first year and give you some time to plan. Or Jefferson community college would an option, if you can convince your parents to allow you to go to the library or use your room to study.
A gap year to really plan this out and save some money might not be a bad idea. You will preserve your freshman status and really have time to plan this out. Many people here will help you on this forum.
The military is not a scholarship service. It’s a career for people who are interested in that specific line of work. OP clearly stated he’s not interested.
All due respect to people who have served, I have zero interest in the military. While I know the college aid they have to offer is nice, I do not think I could handle having to deal with drill instructors screaming in my face and dumping all over me. I have lived that way of life under my father for 17 years now, and I will not do it for another 4 to 8 years. I would much rather take the risk and stick to my goals of starting college this fall.
If your guidance counselor and wise posters here can help you determine you seem qualified for a full ride or other major scholarship, a gap year might be worth the wait.
The military may not even be possible right now. My daughter’s boyfriend joined in feb/march. He signed and was sworn in. He was to report for basic on March 30 and then go to OTS (he’s a college grad). Four days before he was to report, after they’d given up their apartment, jobs, and packed, he was told his report date was delayed, probably until Aug. Now he’s on hold but because he was sworn in, he can’t just walk away. It’s a mess. Thank God they didn’t get married as he wanted to so that she could go with him to camp.
Make sure whoever is advising your parents tells them that filling out the FAFSA will not commit them to pay anything, but not doing it may affect your student loans and other federal aid. It is NOT too late to fill out the FAFSA and you can do that any time, even after you start school. What you may have missed is priority filing, and the school may be out of funds for work study and supplemental grants (SEOG) but sometimes schools have more of these funds available in the fall or spring as students who received them decide not to go/return to college.
Good luck. If you can’t go to college immediately you can still go. You might find a good job near a college, establish a job and life, and then start going part time. Or, you can get a job at a company like UPS or Starbucks that pays for college. Starbucks is at Ariz State online, but a lot of college is online these days. You can do it.
I really don’t like readings posts like these. It’s like your going through all this emotional abuse. Like why did they have kids in the first place… I was born in 1961. Around most likely your dad did or close enough. It’s not the times. As you know your parents are not educated. That is the battle your fighting. I like you have been working since I was 9 and had to pay for my car insurance clothes etc but it was out of necessity. My mother was a single parent and on public aid and food stamps. I have 3 older sisters all working and giving her the paychecks to help pay the bills. Getting government aid and working I went to community college my first year then to the local 4 year but got into medical school and year early… Trust me. It can all work out. All this crap builds character and some backbone.
Some jobs that paid well were hospital jobs and they have benefits. Some help pay for your education. Being a transporter or something like that.
Would your father entertain the idea of a trade school? There is computer programing in most of those now. Or just tell him the Suny is like a big trade school. It can lead to a better job
Also are your parents even aware of the economic issues with the Covid virus? Have their jobs been impacted? If so show them how to get some stimulus money. Maybe that can be used to help you?
I would not be against delaying Suny and working to save up some money first. You can do some online programming courses, things like Kahn Academy to sorts take your first year classes to stay sharp. Take math and science classes. Then maybe you can apply to be an independent and wouldn’t need your parents income.
Too bad there is not a way to show your an independent now since you pay your own bills now. Not sure but maybe your counsler would know?
What you don’t want to do is lose your ability to get financial aid in the future. Plus if you go the community College route you got to make sure your classes transfer over cleanly.
Also talk to your current employer, only if this makes sense. Since he had known you for a long time maybe there is a way he can help out with your future goals. Maybe he can loan you some money and you work it off (but you gotta have money for food /shelter)
Also talk to the counsler about Co-op school options. Many kids go to school then work the co-op job in their field to pay for school. One semester on and one semester off and alternate.
Keep something in mind. You might not have a 4 year path finishing college. It might be 5-7 years or more. But guess what. It doesn’t matter. That’s the good thing about being young.
Talk to your religious advisors also if you belong somewhere. Maybe they have resources for you.
And similar organizations. Your going to need help going forward. They might have resources for you now…
Make sure staying with your friend is a real option. If so try to contribute to doing chores and the food in some way. Maybe if that goes smoothly, you could rent your friends room for less then what your father wanted? Even temporarily.
I don’t have any more advice than the knowledgeable people on this forum, but I am rooting for you from afar. You are bright and resilient, and I know you will be successful. I am just so very sorry to hear your parents are not providing you with support. I will be staying on this thread, and I know you’ll continue to get good advice. Good luck tomorrow—I’m hoping your counselor can help your parents understand the situation!!
Also Americorp has openings near Albany for summer or part-time during school year, such as with Red Cross https://my.americorps.gov/mp/listing/viewListing.do?id=57333&fromSearch=true
“American Red Cross Disaster Resiliency Corps (Albany, NY)
The primary goal of the Red Cross Disaster Resiliency Corps is to increase individual and community disaster resiliency by educating individuals and groups across New York State on the importance of preparedness in disaster response and recovery efforts. Although the goal is to increase the resiliency of all New Yorkers, the Disaster Resiliency Corps will especially focus on increasing the disaster resiliency of individuals living in poverty due to the link between poverty and disaster vulnerability. The program also seeks to build disaster preparedness and response capacity by recruiting, training and engaging community volunteers. Finally, the Disaster Resiliency Corps will assist the Red Cross in New York State with its own disaster response preparedness by helping to plan and develop supply, storage, distribution, shelter and other logistics efforts for an effective and rapid response for both local and national disasters.”
"AmeriCorps NCCC FEMA Corps - Summer 2020
FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) Corps, a program within AmeriCorps NCCC (National Civilian Community Corps), provides you with life experience and skills in the field of emergency management while you serve on a team with fellow 18-24 year olds, earn money for college, travel, and help communities! The mission of AmeriCorps NCCC is to strengthen communities and develop leaders through team-based national and community service. Training for our Summer 2020 FEMA Corps will be held out our Pacific Region campus. Here is what you can expect during your service: -Serve full-time for 12 months -Join a team of 8-12 young adults -Work closely with FEMA professionals in the sector of emergency management -Deploy to 4-6 projects across the country (transportation provided) Next steps: - Complete an application by clicking the “Apply Now!” button below. Be sure to have ready the following information: a brief statement outlining your motivation for serving, your work/service experience, 2 professional references. - Once you complete an application, make sure to submit it! To do this, access this listing once more (we recommend bookmarking it in your browser now) and click the “Apply Now!” button. - In 1-3 days, you will get an email about how to complete a mandatory questionnaire - After your complete these steps, you should hear back about your selection within 1-3 weeks. If not, please email us at ANCCC@cns.gov. You can learn more about NCCC at www.nationalservice.gov/nccc"