<p>We’re behind the game in some ways but as a result we never got inundated with mail. My older kid didn’t take the SATs and ACTs until September. He did quite well but we were off cycle and never got all the junk mail. He won a couple of prizes junior year at his HS that were sponsored by colleges so they did send him stuff. </p>
<p>Because of the slowness of the ACT in granting ShawD extra time, she is going to take the ACTs in September and possibly October so again we’ve been spared the mail. The stakes seem a bit higher that way, but the tradeoff is that several rainforest trees are still standing as a result. The good news is that ShawD is diligently preparing for the ACT, which she (and I) discuss as a complete diversion of productive resources, but it is something that you have to do.</p>
<p>She is prepping this morning for her first interview. ShawSon is giving her tips on how to do interviews. Her college tour week will terminate with a meeting with the President of one of her target universities. She was expecting she’d drop in to his office for 15 minutes, but instead he’s invited her over to his house to meet him, his wife and his college-age kids. I’m going to prepare her for that. Fortunately she’s a socially skilled and extremely charming kid, but off Ritalin, she can bounce around topics a little randomly. Her enthusiasm warms up a room, but she’ll have to prepare some questions to ask and give him a sense of why she’s in interesting person to have at the school. No shrinking violet allowed for that conversation.</p>
<p>Not too much mail here. College board has S as a potential “art” major, so what is arriving is interesting to say the least. He’s changed it, but the art mail just keeps coming. I’ve been looking for the “free application” mail, but alas, none of those. I don’t think we are going to get anything useful via the mail at this point, so throwing most if not all of it out.</p>
<p>Just an FYI–
if your student missed an ACT test this spring (ours missed due to a last minute conflict)
…
you can now go into your students ACT acct online and change the date forward to the Sept or Oct test dates.
You select the previously missed date and select make changes.
From there you can pick a new date, test center etc etc…
The system will refund your original fees back to your credit card used for the last transaction and then charge you the new test fee plus $20 for the change.
In the end you only end up paying the extra $20 instead of losing the whole $48 of the original fee.</p>
<p>As far as snap apps…our kiddo just got one again–the third from the same school. Its a nice school and still it doesn’t have engineeering…so unfortunately it doesn’t help…
However–pretty nice option for those who do it–easy online app, no essays, no fees, no GC recs etc–basically its test scores and the transcript…</p>
<p>Got one via an email—and started it. It does have a save feature–and required some short essays. Kiddo hasn’t even started those essays–even though I keep hinting that getting started might be a good idea…however kiddo has been reading a few chapters here and there in the book about essays by Bauld…</p>
<p>a quiet reading day in this house…I was re-reading a book on apps–</p>
<p>About those calls,… I wonder if I should have my D “show interest” and actually call some of them back? There have been a couple of calls from schools she is really interested in (MIT, Dartmouth, Harvard, etc.). They invite her to call back “if she has any questions about the school or the application”. Well, she doesn’t really have any questions thus far, but perhaps she should make up a question and call anyway (?)</p>
<p>dignified - I would just keep it honest. Unlike some other schools where showing interest might matter, I think the three you mention assume everyone is interested in them anyway.</p>
<p>dignified1: I would definitely have your D “show interest” to those schools that she is truly interested in! It certainly can’t hurt, and the impression it makes may make all the difference in admissions at some point.</p>
<p>Just wanted to jump in about Duke: I feel as if I do know it a little, having had 3 different parent interactions: a child did the Duke TIP program 2 years in a row; have visited and taken the tour/info session route; visited there as the parent of a recruited athlete (felt like being in The Blind Side!). Every interaction has been extremely impressive. Beyond the education and facilities, it is a beautiful school - literally modeled on Princeton in appearance (although with a different culture - southern/non-ivy). Also, has a great hotel on campus - something appreciated by this parent! The town of Durham is no booming metropolis, and is surely limited in its offerings. It is definitely not an urban campus by any means, nor does it pretend to be. It felt as if there was enough action on campus to make up for any lack of city culture - at least, for 4 years. </p>
<p>My daughter really loves the idea of being in the Northeast for college (focused on HYP, Dartmouth, etc.), with Duke being one of the two schools she would consider leaving the Northeast for. The other, Stanford, is truly a different culture - Duke has much more of an “east coast” feel in comparison.</p>
<p>Cornell is really impressive, and offers so much. At the time, we had felt that there was enough going on just on campus to make up for the rural location. It is no longer on my daughter’s list (ultimately felt it was too big, too cold, and too remote), but I will always have a place in my heart for Cornell as it was the first school that my daughter was really excited about once we stepped on campus :)</p>
<p>I was wondering–why would the HYPs be calling kids–
meaing–they get 30k apps a yr–and have theirpick–so why solicit apps?
Are these for slots like …Athletes? orchestra? URM?..</p>
<p>Thanks for the recommendation of WashU, but LuckyBoy has no interest in anything in the midwest. Oh well, it’s one way to prune a list LOL He actively talked about the state flagship today at dinner (he’ll be working there for the next two weeks at the “geek camp” he attended). He knows he needs to come up with 2 or 3 more schools by the start of school, so this week’s job will be to figure those out. <sigh> But he’s a happy guy and so unstressed, even with facing 6 AP courses and finishing up Eagle work! I think I like it :)</sigh></p>
<p>This is my first time through the process, so I don’t know what is normal or not. D checked all the appropriate boxes during testing (PSAT, SAT, SATIIs, AP, ACT), did very well on all of them, and, like most of her friends, has received tons of mail, email, calls, etc. from every type of school imaginable. I’m personally happy to sort through it all because we have certainly managed to discover a couple of schools she had not previously considered. Up to now, however, she has left me to answer the phone calls, and was away at an internship when both Harvard and MIT called.</p>
<p>She has thankfully taken charge of her applications, so I’ll just sit back and let her decide what to do about any future phone calls.</p>
<p>The college trip to NY is shaping up as follows:</p>
<p>Campus tours at SUNY Binghamton
University of Rochester
Cornell</p>
<p>Drive throughs at Colgate, Syracuse and SUNY Geneseo</p>
<p>I want to ask a question without opening a can of worms but here goes:</p>
<p>My son is just a good student and a pretty good kid-like I am sure the vast majority of our kids are. His two best friends going through the process with him are girls.</p>
<p>They are all very bright kids. I will be very direct since this may come off the wrong way and I want to be careful that it isn’t perceived the wrong way but I have a problem and I need some advice.</p>
<p>One girl is a very good swimmer and has gotten a lot of interest from colleges for that. The other girl is adopted from Columbia and I was at dinner with them a few weeks back when she told us she would get in anywhere because she was Hispanic. </p>
<p>These two things are causing my son to have a lot of issues both with them and the process. He asked me if they may get into schools and get more aid because of these circumstances-I told him I believe they may but I can’t answer for sure-I really don’t want him to be focusing on this so I downplayed the whole thing. He is pretty upset that colleges want you more because you can swim than because you are a better student. He is particularly upset with the other friend because he says she may biologically be Hispanic but she was raised down the street in the same environment he was. </p>
<p>If you had to rank the kids he would be the best student, the girls are very good but he is a notch above. I told him colleges are looking for all kinds of things and this is just the way it is. </p>
<p>I only bring it up because I see phone calls getting made to URM and athletes. I personally don’t lose any sleep over it-I have been seeing the athletes getting favored treatment since tykes soccer so it’s nothing new-plus my daughter is a pretty good athlete so maybe some day she’ll be getting those calls. I personally have no issue with affirmative action either-I think it’s good to broaden opportunities for those who haven’t had all the advantages my son has had-whether he realizes this or not.</p>
<p>Has anyone else had this kind of situation? I fear that when the acceptances come around and they get into places where he believes on merit alone he should get into and does not it may damage these lifelong friendships. I hope they all get in wherever they want but it is definitely a concern.</p>
<p>Thoughts either on the schools or this other issue? Either specifically or other cases where this process is causing stress on relationships between friends?</p>
<p>I grew up in MA and was very familiar with this whole game when I was applying to college. It’s one of the reasons why I decided to go outside the bubble in looking for schools. There are preferences for athletes at any schools where sports exist. There are preferences for other characteristics everywhere. I was finally able to find a school where admissions was based only on intellectual qualities - that was what was important to me. I had sat in too many classes with kids who were athletic or otherwise hooked that got into Ivies but had nothing to say, and I didn’t want to do that again. </p>
<p>Your S seems to have an open mind about “prestige” and already seems to be spreading his net past the typical schools high achievers go for. He’ll continue to see admissions recruiting, and admissions results, that will baffle him (and you!). As a thread that recently got a lot of stories on it showed, HS awards nights and other measures of “success” also will be confusing and a set-up for hurting friendships among kids and adults. It isn’t going to end, either. We’ve all seen the angst among adult friends based on their children’s achievements, and we’ve probably all felt it ourselves sometimes (even here on CC forums, no?).</p>
<p>As in many other activities, my D is having to learn in music and theater to take situations where she is pitted against her friends - whether she wants to be or not - and try to come out with her own self-esteem and the friendships intact. She’s had to learn to be gracious when she’s seething (when she’s the one who’s disappointed) and to handle tactfully the kids who deal with their own disappointments by trying to shoot her down (when she’s the one who gets the solo, or the part). She’s trying to find a school that tries to make this inevitable situation more reasonable, but she also knows that learning to deal with it is the only way she’ll get through life, in the theater or otherwise.</p>
<p>We’ll all have to stand by and watch, and support, as these kids handle a very stern time of judgment - and at times arbitrary, at times truly unfair - in a very public way. No advice except to know that it will just be something to be lived through, hopefully with some dignity and sense of long-term perspective. </p>
<p>One thing we’ve done when we’re hearing “I can’t believe so-and-so got such-and-such honor/award/distinction” is move the discussion away from “so-and-so” (whose life we have no say in) to the bigger meaning of how to handle one’s own disappointment and move on. Sometimes we can privately rail together about how inconsistent the world is, or how some people may find their luck won’t always last, but mostly we just try to take a look at what we do have and what to make of it.</p>
<p>Hi Pepper - I can understand how your son would take such statements, especially now that he is really getting ready to put in applications. I especially understand about the Hispanic friend. Even if one is in favor of Affirmative Action
from what you said this girl has had the advantages your son has had, in broad terms at least. At least I am assuming that growing up down the street there is not a great deal of difference in their general circumstances. I know with my kids I would use it as a chance to point out that this is the reality when the government gets involved, even when you agree with the politics. The solutions tend to be very broad brush and so there are unintended consequences, both good and (usually) not so good, although the intended consequences may still outweigh the unintended ones. But that in fact is the reality. The other reality is that she is likely deluding herself if she thinks she can get into Harvard just because she is Hispanic. I don’t know her stats of course, but if they are somewhat lower than your son’s, I would say her odds are slim. So I think those are the two pertinent points for her case.</p>
<p>For the swimmer it is a little tougher, but also a moment of reality. Schools should be mostly about academics, of course, but they are not all about academics. Some lean much farther that way than others, as we have all seen for some years now. And you know from our other communications that I have a huge problem with schools that give athletic scholarships while giving zero or very few academic merit scholarships. But schools that give both, or neither, I think is OK. Having competitive sports is part of the college atmosphere at many schools, including the Ivies. And let’s be realistic, even the Ivies wink when it comes to the “no athletic scholarship” policy. I am quite sure their FA office knows when they are supposed to come up with better packages for certain students. But with their recent changes in aid to middle class families, I have less of an issue with that than I used to. Anyway, the girl has a talent, just like schools might favor someone that is a very talented musician or actor.</p>
<p>So to bottom line it, he has to come to grips with the fact that admissions is not a 100% academic proposition. Colleges try to reflect and/or actively remedy societal issues, real or perceived, of great importance (race and poverty) or somewhat less so (sports). In the end, all you can do is sigh and be trivially cliche by stating the obvious, no one said life was fair.</p>
<p>D returned this weekend from her two-week program at the Robert E. Cook Honors College and LOVED it. She loved the professors, the counselors, the in-depth discussions, the personal attention, the atmosphere…She had gone to a couple of CTD summer programs at Northwestern and really enjoyed them,but said she liked this one better - a little surprising to me b/c she was so pumped about her Northwestern experiences. I’m really glad this was such a positive experience for her and on a broader scale, pleased that this confirms that our initial approach to our college search - small academically-foused LAC’s - is the right focus for her. I had thought about supplementing our list with some larger schools like Wash U or Rice, but don’t see any reason to do so since she agreed that the schools on our current short list reflect what she’s looking for (and are ones much more likely to get her merit $$).
Next week - the Ohio Six tour (three schools for us) and the following week we’re doing a Day at Lawrence. Hopefully this will motivate her to start working on some applications/essays.
Interesting - lots of mail (email and snail) but no phone calls here.</p>