<p>I actually plowed through the rest of Profile last night. Didn’t submit but printed out summary which is much easier to read than the online screen by screen version.</p>
<p>Several questions arose along the way, but what most surprised me what that they asked about cash gifts at parent and student level. Really?? Not that either of us receives large cash gifts, but it just seems so out of place in a financial aid app.</p>
<p>No major action here, either, except lots of homework and rehearsals and some time spent with new BF (who’s a doll). We actually went out to dinner as a family on Thursday night, which was a real joy! She says she’s doing ACT prep, and I believe her. It’s her baby.</p>
<p>I finally called the priority app school - I realized I was checking for e-mail daily and starting to scour the mail. No e-mail confirmation, so I figured a call was OK. Turned out they hadn’t gotten the e-mail address correction, so I’m glad I did. But everything is in order. They’re not going to notify people until 11/1, and who knows where we are in the queue. We’re visiting the 28-29th, and I may quietly inquire while we’re there, if it feels right … getting rejected on-site would be a bummer, but it would save us time, and being accepted is an awesome way to look at a school. Or maybe I’ll call the day before.</p>
<p>The lure of an acceptance makes her safety MY first choice, at least in my mind! I keep thinking, Just go there and be done with it! Also it’s one of her 2 close-by schools, and I find myself secretly hoping she doesn’t go 1000 miles away. I’m realizing how much I’ve missed D1 all these years, how uninvolved we’ve been with what she’s been doing. Having a kid in the arts will make that harder - not getting to performances on any regular basis, yuck. And I’m selfishly feeling like I don’t want my kids sprinkled all over the country, as much as in principle I think it’s great.</p>
<p>But in the next couple of weeks D2’ll get the EA apps in for several schools that could take her east, so that ball will finally start rolling. I just wonder when she sees this safety if she’ll think about distance and cost and bother, and what her gut feeling will be. She’s been so relaxed - and distracted - lately that I’m not sure what her current feelings are.</p>
<p>Oh EB, I hear you about kids being so far! Two of my son’s choices are in state. The third is 15hrs away. It makes me ill to think about it! Sadly, that’s the safety school! His first choice (and reach) is an easy afternoon drive so we could go for lunch and back without it being a big deal or taking more than an hour of his time.</p>
<p>^Yes, the prospect of my child living on the east coast while we live on the west coast is suddenly a real and very daunting possibility. I <em>think</em> he’ll learn to look after himself and I’d never want to communicate (to him, anyway) that I don’t think he’d cope, but I am now thinking about how he will juggle the new daily survival tasks, actually study and do homework, figure out how to get along with a roommate and make new friends – let alone deal with weather. We do not have much weather here in So Cal.</p>
<p>My head and heart are engaged in a wrestling match over this: he’s a bright kid but hasn’t really had to look after himself for longer than a week or so. My head tells me that he’ll learn, albeit through trial and error. My heart tells me that if he attended his in state safety, he could hop in the car and drive home for a weekend if he felt like it, or we could go and visit him – only if he wanted us to. Yikes. </p>
<p>Dude can do some basic cooking and certainly can do his own laundry, he’s not helpless. But I have this ache when I think that he might go far away and see us only twice a year, max.</p>
<p>I thought I was really open-minded about this. I went to school 1000 miles away from home and didn’t bat an eye. And I live far from my folks now. Maybe having had one kid already do the 4 years of flights and long-distance relationships and all that makes me wonder “what really was so great about this?” Or maybe I just will miss this one, because of who she is or because she’s my last. Or maybe it’s the feeling that if she’s a theatre major I’d like to see her shows. Or…?</p>
<p>I’m trying not to dwell on it. But it does come up. She has a safety and a nice LAC out here. But she couldn’t find the exact program she wants that’s near to home - all of those are east. And she hasn’t exactly committed to a safety out there, either. I’ll just have to see where her heart takes her (and what schools take her!). </p>
<p>With much of this I have to force myself to go numb as much as possible … such a whirlwind!</p>
<p>I’m not worried about my son navigating survival tasks, assignments, roommates, etc. He’s self-sufficient. I wouldn’t be anymore help 90 miles away than 900 miles away. It would be nicer to be able to have a lunch or dinner once in a while (I’m talking once a month maybe, not once a week!), only asking an hour of his time, not creating pressure of ‘I’m here for the entire weekend so how much time can you spare for me?’.</p>
<p>In the end, he’ll figure it out…and so will we.</p>
<p>I have conflicting feeling about letting my little bird leave the nest. On one hand, sometimes I think that he will forget to breathe, if I don’t remind him. Just the other day our all family was looking for his eye glasses, wasted about an hour and he missed his EC because of that. He found them finally in the sleeve of his jacket. On the other hand he is a lot more responsible when he is on his own, so I am sure he will be OK and maybe even needs some independence.</p>
<p>So in the frigid cold last night, with a blustery nor-easter passing by, my son the head drum major, 4.25 gpa was crowned Homecoming King. Each of the nominees (5 girls, 5 guys) had to be escorted by their parents around the track while their accomplishments were read by the announcer - when his name was called, there was such a roar from the band (on the field) and the student section, that I was just shocked. We were between the cool, “jello-shot parties in the basement before the teen nightclub” football player and the richy rich student body prez. I totally didn’t expect the nice band geek to win…my dh and I are quiet people who blend into the woodwork, and it was just nice (albeit strange) to be next to my son who is so very different than us. Today band practice and another band competition which he has to leave early to go to the homecoming dance.</p>
<p>p.s. Do you think focussing on college apps will happen Sunday like planned?</p>
<p>Oh, congrats to you and your son!! Enjoy the moment, and enjoy the weekend! The apps will wait. Have a family party Sunday and bask in what a great time he’s having and how proud of him you all are.</p>
<p>One thing I’ve been realizing as my D waits to write essays is how much more she knows herself and how much more she has to think and to write about as time goes by. She’s not the same person she was in August, and that will come through.</p>
<p>In November I’ll be more antsy, but for now I’ll keep my bright disposition. Hurray for the small triumphs!</p>
<p>The 2011-2012 EFC Formula Guide is out for FAFSA for anyone interested. This will give you real numbers, not estimates. <a href=“http://ifap.ed.gov/efcformulaguide/attachments/101310EFCFormulaGuide1112.pdf[/url]”>http://ifap.ed.gov/efcformulaguide/attachments/101310EFCFormulaGuide1112.pdf</a>. I will be updating my Excel spreadsheet so you don’t need to figure out your EFC by hand and you can run a few scenarios. For those who want a copy, please PM your email address unless someone can tell me another way to transmit it.</p>
<p>Amandakayak, that’s such a nice story - congrats to your son! I can just picture you and your h when they announced your son was the winner. A moment of stunned confusion, looking left and right to see if this was a mistake…if perhaps there was a mix-up and some OTHER kayak boy won. And then the sort of glazed, endearing smile that says, “This sort of thing just doesn’t happen to people like us…” I’m happy you have this lovely moment to add to your senior year memories.</p>
<p>Progress report:</p>
<p>Clue #1 - posting report at 3:45 instead of noon, as promised.</p>
<p>Clue #2 - posting from blackberry – in bed.</p>
<p>Clue #3 - I just don’t feel right about forcing a person (in this case, me) to spend their Saturday doing something they so loathe.</p>
<p>Ok, enough with the clues. I didn’t get a lot done, but I did get a little. I give myself a C-minus.</p>
<p>Baby steps…</p>
<p>D has a somewhat legitimate excuse for not working on her apps today. She somehow managed to crack the LCD screen of her laptop which was less than 1 year old. Not sure if it fell or if maybe dog jumped on it(it was on her bed of all places!)</p>
<p>Of course, no coverage for accidental breakage, so spent a bunch of time researching replacement of LCD screens. Had always heard the cost to replace was as much as new laptop. Well, we found a shop that replaced it in an hour for less than $300. It was one of those things where it just made sense to get it fixed so she didn’t have a constant nagging feeling about it. </p>
<p>No more excuses, though!</p>
<p>Funny conversation with D today. We were waiting around at the cell phone store, and chatting. What was funny was how her tolerance for talking about college, etc. hits a wall so suddenly.</p>
<p>We were talking about some choices she has, including some safeties that go on and off the list. I asked her about how she feels about size - we’ve found she can handle pretty big schools, is confident she can “find her people,” and actually kind of likes them. On the other hand, she’s more comfortable all the time with the smaller LACs on her list, knowing that they probably will be full of “her people,” and not like our small HS at all. I told her I was pleased that she was able to go both ways, that she can make either work … but also that I knew it might make her ultimate choice difficult, with so many options … and right about then she was done with the conversation (5 min).</p>
<p>Later the subject of ACT came up. She was able to say that she’s doing OK with her prep, not feeling there are any guarantees, but definitely clearing up some things she missed the first 2 times. She’ll be glad it’s over next Sat, of course. I mentioned that under various circumstances she can decide which AP test(s) to take - she has 3 this year, and 2 might become irrelevant; only Lit is for sure. But we’d hit the 5 minute mark again at that point - and she was done.</p>
<p>I just keep trying to be respectful of her saturation points. Each 5 minutes we get is a little more helpful … and at least we’re talking about it. I also got a glimpse at one point today that she truly is fearful she won’t get into a college. This surprised me because she has so many solid matches and safeties. So again it was clear how important an acceptance in hand is to these kids. Thank you, thank you, for rolling and EA admissions!</p>
<p>Very cool, amandakayak, Congratulations to your son and to the student body for choosing such a great candidate! 2012 son has now been accepted into two state schools - one that I filled out the app for and one that dh submitted. I will say that neither of those schools required essays so we didn’t doing anything illegal. The one state school has automatic merit aid equaling free tuition for high gpa and test scores, so he has that offer. I have arranged for him to visit that school at the end of the month to see if their computer science program interests him. If so, I might be able to convince him to work on the essays necessary to apply for their selective scholarships that would give him even more $. We’ll see… there is no movement towards working on the Common app. for out of state schools. He won’t hear about his top choice in state school until mid December. </p>
<p>Why’s everyone working on the financial aid profile already? Clue me in. This is my first child.</p>
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<p>At least a couple of S’s schools require them for merit scholarships and the deadlines are Nov 1 and Dec 1 to have them submitted. I am so confused right now, there may be more but Ihave to weed through all the merit app materials. Worse part is these are"merit" schloarships, we do not qualify for FA. They must somehow be using this info to evaluate how disadvantaged, how much of a boast he got from us. I don’t know. H has started the form and had to laugh when it asked for make and model of our cars: a 10 year old car with 122K miles and an 8 year car with 229K miles on it. hmm, what does that tell them, how frugal we are?</p>
<p>Congrats to AmandaK’s S!! You must be very proud. </p>
<p>S has 3 local schools, within an hours ride, and 9 that range from a couple hours plane ride, or 5 hour+ car ride to clear across the country. Although I will really, really miss him when he is at school I don’t want to see him home often. I think being away is a great experience. From folks who have kids who graduated in '10, I am learning that with skype and texting it is almost like they never left. Its not like S and I sit on the couch and watch tv together every night, I never see him when he is home now.</p>
<p>Amandak: Congrats to your son. I love it when the nice kid wins.</p>
<p>No progress on apps here. Yesterday was Homecoming, which is an all day event around here. I spoke to lots of other senior parents who are frustrated with their kid’s lack of prgress. Homecoming was great. We had perfect fall weather, and no hair drama! Last year we were late for pictures because my daughter curled her hair, hated it, and had to wet it and straighten it at the last minute.</p>
<p>Hi All</p>
<p>Random question here–Someone told me that they won’t have to pay anything towards their student’s education because of “retirement”–sooooo because they play tennis and golf all the time and don’t regularly “work” they can show no income…Is this possible? They have assets, a 401k (according to parent), have an expensive house, several expensive vehicles etc…Put it this way–they are not drawing social security/are not “old” sr citizens if you know what I mean…
I was really really surprised…</p>
<p>So what do you parents think? On my D’s Early Action app, it asks for the names of three other colleges she is applying to. This school, for her, would probably be considered a safety or low match. I feel very confident that she’ll get in, but I don’t want them to think that she’s not serious about them (Tuft’s Syndrome) if she lists reachier schools on the app. I want them to accept her with a big merit scholarship! 
Also, that section is optional - she doesn’t have to list anything. We’re wondering if she should leave it blank, list one or two less-selective schools, or what.</p>
<p>She is having an interview with them on Tuesday, and I hope they don’t ask her that question in person!</p>
<p>^^ About listing other schools
everything I have read is to list schools that are peers to the school to which you are applying…</p>
<p>and it would be perfectly easy to say…"other schools with xyz major " in the abc region perhaps</p>