<p>Kajon - My heartfelt condolences on your family’s loss. I can see going either way on this. Only you know your family dynamic and how your son might react. Is there any way you or your husband can go to school to talk to your son before your flight or delay your flight? Maybe one of you could leave today and the other tomorrow. Did your older son have any suggestions? I would recommend that someone your son is comfortable talking (crying) to be in the house with him should you decide to tell him.</p>
<p>Kajon…If this were my D and her dog, I would leave for the airport an hour earlier than typical, go to the school and have the counselor pull him out of class and you tell him in person. I can’t imagine having my daughter come home and being told by phone or by note that her dog was sick/or dead. I would want to hug my kiddo and tell her how it plain sucks. Counselors are at school not just to arrange schedules and write LOR. They have the ability to be there in times like these also.</p>
<p>We left jobs and started a business earlier this year, and thus have absolutely no way to predict what our earned income will be for 2010, but know that it will be much less than that for 2009. We’re taking money out of retirement early, so our returns will show that as “income.” Has anyone else had a similar situation and determined how to make the difference between earned income and retirement withdrawals clear?</p>
<p>Also, we have money in a 529 plan, but would love to have some of this left for grad school. Has anyone else determined whether schools will have any sympathy for parents who want to hang onto 529 savings for grad school and are seeking financial aid?</p>
<p>Finally - I am so glad to hear that kids are not all endlessly retaking the SAT. We’re done, and our child will take a run at doing better on the SAT II’s.</p>
<p>325…
You have to estimate as best you can by projecting the next couple of months. Your 2011 estimate will need to be a WAG, but keep it on the conservative side.</p>
<p>Taking money out of retirements accounts does get whacked by the FA process. You are converting an asset they don’t count into a revenue stream that they assess heavily. And I don’t think they care about your intentions re the 529–assets are assets, and they assume they are available. Probably best to spend down the 529 on freshman year expenses, and keep everything you can in the retirement accounts.</p>
<p>P.S.-- Welcome aboard.</p>
<p>Kajon – I’m so sorry about your dog – it is so sad. If at all possible, I would probably stop by the school to explain it to him. He will still be sad, but will have heard the news from you in person and will have had the chance to get a hug. I would be reluctant to share it with him over the phone.</p>
<p>@Kajon: I agree with the others that the truth is best. If it is possible to stop by the school and deliver the news in person that would be ideal, but if not an option then a long detailed letter for your son would break the news gently.
I know how hard it is to lose a family member. when one of my dogs died, a child of mine was out of school literally grieving for days and the school was quite understanding about it.
I don’t know if your son would want to go to the vet and have a moment with Kajon, but that is always an option too.
I am really sorry for your loss. It is obvious from your screen name that he was very important to you.</p>
<p>Kajon, so sorry about your dog. We are a dog family and lost our 8 yo golden suddenly about 2 yrs ago, it was a hit to everyone, and everyone processed it differently. Some retreated to their pcs or xboxes, but we were shattered as a family for a few days. That is when you need your family most. I would have to stay home and let hubby take the trip but that is me and my ds, you know your son best. Maybe a good friend can take him for the weekend or at least the first night? Again, I am so very sorry.</p>
<p>Kajon, What a problem! I can’t imagine what you are going through, trying to get ready for a trip, mourning your dog and worrying about breaking the news to your son. I’m so sorry for your loss. I also like collegeshoppings idea of stopping by the school and breaking the news in person. Is that a possibility? If I were you, and if I didn’t tell him, it would be a worry in the back of my mind the whole weekend.</p>
<p>So sorry about the dog.</p>
<p>Okay, I shed the first major Senior Mom tears this morning. Senior pep rally. I made it though the senior drill team dance, because who can cry during a hip hop? BUT, they do this thing every year called “slo mo.” The seniors in every sport/group in the school get together on the gym floor - football, soccer, drill team, band, etc. - they play that “I Will Remember You” and in turn, each group does something in slow motion…the drill team girls did their fight song motions and one of their stand dances. A lot of us drill team moms were sitting together and I could just feel all of our collective sobs. LOTS of moms wiping their eyes on the way out.</p>
<p>Kajon, Sorry to read about your S’s dog. I think I would opt to tell asap, but you know your S better than anyone. </p>
<p>As for the high SAT scores, I haven’t read the thread but lets face it, there are a lot of high fliers at CC. Second, the folks who score well are more apt to want to discuss their scores than those who didn’t. And as other have mentioned maybe there are a few who are exagerating or just playing games. </p>
<p>F1 I would go ahead and send the scores now. Why wait?</p>
<p>missypie - that sounds like a wonderful tradition. Maybe because my S goes to an all boy school, they don’t seem to have these types of things. oh well…</p>
<p>Kajon: Tell him straight up about his dog. Holding the information back will only make the situation worse. Losing one’s dog is bad enough, but learning that your parents don’t think you are mature enough to handle it is annoying. My dog dies the first time I came home from college and my parents were on their way to the airport. They were going to keep the info from me until they returned, but my 93-year-old great aunt said, “you’re dog died.” as soon as she saw me. It was sad at the time, but I laugh about it now. I was disappointed that my parents didn’t think I could handle it. I had the “ceremony” alone. He was a great dog.</p>
<p>My D, queen of the procrastinators, is finally showing measurable work on her apps. She’s writing the personal statements on the express apps and actually talking about the RD ones.
She’s doing the SAT again in November. I can actually see light at the end of the tunnel. </p>
<p>Kajon - Our dogs are quite old and I dread the day we either come down to find the inevitable or we have to take them to the vet. My niece had to deal with their old dog last Friday - a scheduled vet appt turned bad. She was home alone while her parents were at older sis’s parent’s weekend. Not good for all concerned, but another aunt went to be with her for a couple hours and she got through it. I hope you’re able to see your son and let him know what happened.</p>
<p>Kajon, so sorry to hear about your dog but i agree with UT: better to be honest about it. He’ll respect and trust you more for it because you will have treated him w/ respect and honesty. You’ll be demonstrating that you think he can handle it.</p>
<p>Re: SAT, I also agree w/everyone that the test shouldn’t become an extracurricular. At my S’s school they counsel that you either take the SAT or the ACT, but not both – too much testing. So, the kids take the PSAT and the PLAN during sophomore year and whichever they performed best on, felt comfortable with, is the way to go. My S preferred the SAT, studied for it because we were also told not to use the actual test as a practice, took it twice and was done. He had never seen the test before the sophomore PSAT. He took one each of three SAT IIs: the bio, the US history (which matched his courses last year) and then in Oct the Math II which didn’t turn out as he would have liked. While it still felt like a lot of testing to him and to us, it was within reason.</p>
<p>As far as the Oct SATs, I think that test must have had a great scale. My son’s girlfriend took it and scored an 800 in the CR and nearly as high in the other sections. It was a substantial improvement over her May SAT scores. Oh, and she’s not among the 50 you guys are talking about who have posted their scores on CC; neither she nor my son are members of CC. They think I’m nuts to be on here but both benefit from what I learn.</p>
<p>Thanks for the kind words and help. I am on plane and just spoke with him. He said he already knew cause he heard us whispering this am and snuck downstairs to eavesdrop. I really Do not understand teenage mind.</p>
<p>Hi All</p>
<p>Through a google alert I got this article…about the best values in private colleges…</p>
<p>[url=<a href=“http://www.kiplinger.com/magazine/archives/best-values-in-private-colleges-2010-2011.html]Kiplinger.com[/url”>Best Values in Private Colleges 2010-2011 | Kiplinger]Kiplinger.com[/url</a>]</p>
<p>Kajon, sorry to hear about yur dog. Have a wonderful tiume with your student. ;O)</p>
<p>Kajon, so sorry about your dog. See, I would vote for not telling your son about it until you are back. But you did and it worked out for the best. Have a wonderful parents weekend with S1.</p>
<p>Fogfog, I took a list at the Kiplinger’s list. On the one hand, I like how they list average need-based aid and average non-need-based aid, but the results look odd. For instance, they say that average non-need-based aid at Brown is $14k. I thought that Ivy schools didn’t offer anything but need-based aid. Any idea what’s up with this?</p>
<p>I wish Kiplinger’s would point out that what matters is how much aid your own child is offered, not just the averages. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Oh, please. For a $50k-esque school, that’s an increase of over $2k, which then compounds to even more for years 3 and 4. And that’s in after-tax dollars. In order to keep up, I’d need to receive a 9% annual raise. Relatively modest, my foot.</p>
<p>^I wondered about some #s too—because the ivies only do need based aid…no merit and no athletic.
Its possible they are referring to outside scholarships–Aid the kids get through an award/organization/merit of some kind … or perhaps outside loans?</p>
<p>Had to smirk at the “average” numbers too because our pre-read did not come close to those average pay/debt…
and as I learned those charts about 10% of income if between x and y are about the “average”…not typical aid awards…</p>
<p>LOL. The average non-need based award for Brown is $14K, but 0% of students get it. They should of go for a higher average $$$.</p>