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<p>It is really helpful when the family has the resources to see some Broadway shows, attend performances by a respected symphony or opera company, etc. I don’t really think it’s the parents’ job to say “you aren’t good enough” but I think that if kids can really see what is GOOD, not just good for their school, they can more realistically determine if they have it.</p>
<p>MOSB & Emmybet - A very bright and talented friend of mine who graduated from CMU in the early 70s devoted most of her life until recently raising her severely developmentally challenged child. That child now lives in a fabulous group home thus giving my friend the opportunity to resume her musical and theatrical career. She started with some local one woman shows just outside NYC about three years ago. Now she is on the road with a traveling group of FIDDLER ON THE ROOF in one of the lead roles.</p>
<p>Kudos to great ACT scores achieved in the homes of Emmybet, Emilybee, Arisamp and anyone else I missed.</p>
<p>Ohio - I have no idea what Destination Imagination is.</p>
<p>MOSB & UT - prayers to your parents</p>
<p>OWM - the kids in our school bring in their SAT & ACT study guides and college guides for the NHS to sell at their fundraiser. Cleans out our house and they make $$$.</p>
<p>The theatre/music discussion reminds me of a very lengthy thread from last year. “would your child be better off as a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond?” </p>
<p>My son has a couple of tippy top reaches on his list, but I think he would be happier at a match school where he could be a bigger fish. Going to a school full of big fish might be more of an academic challenge and force him to swim a lot faster in order to excel. If he ends up with multiple choices, I hope he gives a great deal of thought as to which option would make him the happiest.</p>
<p>What an awesome idea! Add it to having a used prom dress sale and all of the other ways to reuse and reduce!</p>
<p>And what a beautiful story! My D plans to be a character actress, so age shouldn’t ever matter to her, either! </p>
<p>One thing my kids grew up with was seeing creative people doing all kinds of things in all kinds of ways. They know that it’s about passion and desire and fun. But they also have seen so many different kinds of performances and projects that they have a very good idea of what is meaningful and what has value - to them, and on a more general scale. </p>
<p>They also know that people make important choices, in their creative lives and their personal lives. I’m glad they are not linear in their understanding of how the world “should” work. This goes for my scientific D as well as my artistic D.</p>
<p>It’s an important lesson that I’m very grateful that they have understood.</p>
<p>Ohiomom: I think it would be a good idea to highlight your son’s Destination Imagination accomplishments on the activity sheet. I think admissions people should be somewhat familiar with the program if they’ve been reading applicaitions for a few years. My younger daughter participated in elemenatary and middle school. Her team just missed qualifying for the global competition one year, and I can’t say I was disapointed.</p>
<p>Kajon, mosb - it will be an interesting time when decisions roll around. I guess for all of us, huh? I’m glad to take this trip with you people!</p>
<p>Ohiomom, I am sure Destination Imagination is quite well known to adcoms, but certainly why not spell out any special achievement? Congrats are due to all whose scores met or exceeded their expectations, certainly the same score that causes sobbing in one home will cause rejoicing in another… that is how the world is. We are progressing with apps slowwwwly. Still deciding how many common app versions to submit - will depend on which if any essay my son will want to use as “additional information”. And another regatta this weekend, senior play coming up… I was upset when my son requested a small role in the play this year (he usually has a significant, though not leading, role). I was upset thinking how in his last year he will have only a small part in the play… but now am beginning to think he was right, you can’t do everything and the timing is such that the play performance is right around the time all of the apps are due…</p>
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In a similar vein, a friend of mine just started a consignment business with Bar/Bat Mitzvah clothes. The girls in particular can purchase upwards of 25 outfits a ‘season’ which they outgrow before sweet sixteen, then prom time. I predict she will do very well.</p>
<p>Aniger, my D1 as a senior requested to play JV on a sport (she hadn’t played before and wasn’t all that good anyway). It was perfect for her - early games, no weekend tournaments, etc. - and meant she didn’t have conflicts with her other activities. They thought she was crazy, but she knew it was right for her. Was it ever!</p>
<p>ohiomom, I would suspect that DI is known to adcoms. D participated in teams for several years prior to high school and then has been volunteering as an appraiser for the past few years. She does have that on her activities.</p>
<p>Love the idea of selling the prep books as a fundraiser. Should tell D to see if they would like to do it at NHS. We have so many books at home (pretty much all have been handed down - I don’t think D has used very many of these!). Current plan is to continue the handing down process - we have a friend whose son is a sophomore.</p>
<p>FlMathMom, I love the story about your friend. We sometimes forget that
there are many seasons and chapters to our lives. And how much richer and sweeter this season must be for her because it was deferred.</p>
<p>EmmyBet, your thoughts about balance and real-world perspective for performance-talented kids are dead on. And it’s why I’m very confident both our Ds will make the right choices next spring. It sure will be fun to watch them and Kajon’s son and others grapple with their options. SO glad I have you guys to take this journey with and to bounce things off of. Thanks one and all for being here!</p>
<p>Congrats everyone on all the good news. </p>
<p>MOSB and UT: I know how hard it is to deal with a parent’s illness while in the midst of tending to your own kids and spouse. Five years ago I had to help my mom with my dad when he was diagnosed w/ cancer. I left my family in NY, went home to RI, and stayed for six weeks until he died. Thankfully my brother relieved me on the weekends so that I could see my kids and husband. My parents had done the same for me a few years earlier when I underwent my own treatment for cancer. Being there for them, and particularly for my dad, was one the most meaningful periods of my life. </p>
<p>My seven years of studying Renaissance art history for a Ph.D. doesn’t even compare. And so yes, no matter what these kids do w/ their educations and their lives, their most poignant, triumphant, courageous moments will probably be derived from their relationships to other people. Puts the college/career stuff in perspective.</p>
<p>so glad to hear that the ACT’s have worked out for everyone’s kids and that this can go into the “complete” pile for you. I’d like to second emmybet’s sentiment that it really is good to have you all with me on this trip.</p>
<p>Today I am proud of my “surrogate” kids. Our son has two friends who will be first generation college students–both from blended, low to middle income families. Our family has encouraged them to think beyond our local regional university because we know there are other academic and financial options for them. (One is also a racial URM.) We have taken them to our state flagship for tours and football games. Their parents said they would pay for one ACT sitting only. Today, they both got their scores–both 31! So they qualify for the Honors College at the flagship and automatic merit aid.</p>
<p>I am so excited for these two students and now I am pushing them to get their applications in by the priority deadline for merit aid. (Dec.1). </p>
<p>The whole process has fueled a passion in me to help these types of student and their families to learn about their options. Might quit my job and volunteer to do that full-time. (Might decrease our EFC, too?)</p>
<p>Olderwisermom, Congratulations to both kids! Fantastic idea to volunteer to help more kids. Go for it!</p>
<p>Olderwisermom – Congrats to your “surrogate” kids! And hats off to you for encouraging them and helping them along the way! I was very touched by your dedication to them. They are lucky kids!</p>
<p>Just back from a benefit for Ronald Mcdonald house. What a great organization. And please give thanks for the healthy kids in your life. Saw lots of kids and parents whose only wish has nothing to do with college admissions…</p>
<p>OWM - Maybe we can start an organization to help kids who don’t have resources to guide them. It seems a waste to let all of our group’s collective knowledge to go unused once our kids achieve their goals. Espec us moms of onlies. We’ve spent years gathering this knowledge. Let’s figure out how we can help other kids. Instead of Big Brothers, Big Sisters we could be Guidance Moms or College Moms or Mom Advisors. I’m sure one of you will think of a clever name.</p>
<p>OWM- I’m totally inspired by your story. I know you would tell us that the gift has been to you…funny how that works! 
I love FMMs idea! Wouldn’t that be something.
Aniger- Great organization and wonderful reminder. Parent houses where you can stay when your kids are ill are an amazing resource and offer so much more than a bed to sleep. We spent only a week at one when one of ours was being treated. The support was overwhelming. We send a thank you card each year at holiday time with a donation we can afford that year…always the anniversary of his treatment. It was also a keen reminder, there is always someone walking a more difficult road. </p>
<p>I’m so grateful for our supportive community here. I love to hear updates, triumphs, goofy kid stories, and my personal best…parental falability.</p>
<p>RenMom, I’m very touched by your story of caring for your dad near the end of his life, and how the experience affected you. Reaffirms some things I’ve come to understand lately. I didn’t know you’d dealt with cancer in your own life. I hope you’re in excellent health these days!</p>