<p>You know how someone mentioned yesterday about how the little pats on the back were what these overstressed kids need? Well, ds had a great day yesterday, got a few tests back and marking period 1 grades were in…things were looking great, studied with gf…played with sisters…we talked about the honors college app essays…then FB news starts filtering in, people start calling. A recent grad, fellow band geek, drum major, took to the hospital either yesterday or the day before and died last night. I didn’t know him, my son barely knew him but he was a kid, just like our kids, invincible. Posted on his FB just a few days ago. Remember how I mentioned the parent’s perspective forum our GC dept has? He was one of the dads on the panel who spoke about his ds’ applying to colleges. It’s just so tragic and incomprehensible, his FB is alive with posts from friends, now messages how he’ll be missed. I hate FB when it comes to this, makes it all too visible, palpable.</p>
<p>Oh what a tragedy. And what a heavy reminder of the frailty of life. Its cliche but true, we do need to treasure the small moments of each day because they are so fleeting. Healing thoughts to your community Amandak.</p>
<p>Like amandakayak’s community, ours is also hurting today. A junior at the smallest of our local high schools was struck by a school bus yesterday morning and and died at the hospital a few hour later. Our older son is a ministry assistant at a local church and several of the students in his youth group witnessed the death of their friend. </p>
<p>I hugged our son a little longer on his way out the door this morning.</p>
<p>amanda - My heart is just breaking for your son. It just knocks the wind out of them. My students have lost more classmates than I care to count…three this August alone. Each one is followed by the facebook postings you mentioned. It seems to be something the kids want to do, but I agree it is all too public at a time when the family could use an ounce of privacy. At these times often the facts surrounding their passing are not completely known to the students and rumors and misinformation can spread fast. The internet just feeds this.
I hope your son’s high school offers some type of grief counseling for those who want it. A culture of accepting that it’s okay to admit that ‘No, I’m not alright and I don’t understand why things just happen.’ is very important for our kids. Sadly, the losses they face are not going to diminish overtime.<br>
It does put the entire college application process in perspective. Your son is very lucky to have a perceptive mum in his corner.</p>
<p>OWM - Oh, I am so sorry. A youth minister serves many roles for young people, sadly it includes supporting them during crisis like this. The students are lucky to have a caring adult in their lives in your son to hold them up right now. I understand about hugging your kids a little tighter…I about strangle mine.</p>
<p>My deepest sympathy to OWM and amandak - so close to home. We’ve had a break here the last couple of years, but had several deaths (usually in cars, even without alcohol involved) in years past. I do know that the kids all feel it very deeply and also get a real wake-up about priorities in life. I just feel for the families - they don’t get anything “good” out of these tragic experiences.</p>
<p>And D left today very washed out and tired … I do know she’s running on fumes a lot of the time. And one little bug could knock her out completely. So we’re trying to keep things balanced, as best we can. </p>
<p>Thanksgiving will have a lot of meaning this year, for all of us. I remember 4 years ago with D1 - her ED app pending, the others in the chute to be started if she heard bad news (she was one of those who insisted on waiting) - it was a very intense time. </p>
<p>I am so happy for everyone who has something “in the bag” right now. But I can’t help noticing no one has told us about rejections. I hope everyone feels they’ll get just as helpful and caring support about bad news as about good. We’re all here for you!</p>
<p>OWM & Amanda…there are no words…just (((hugs)))</p>
<p>OWM and amandak: My heart aches for your kids and communities.</p>
<p>Amanda and OWM, So sorry to hear about the sadness in your community. Life is precious. I’ll never forget a friend of my daughters who died in a car accident in the late winter of their senior year. It made for a very confusing and sad time for all the kids.</p>
<p>EmmyBet, Good point about the rejections and I think they are harder to mention amidst the acceptance celebrations. My son was rejected from Main Campus at both Pitt and PSU but accepted to their Satellite campuses. I don’t think that appeals to him at all. Both were reaches and we knew that chances were slim because both are numbers driven schools. His GPA isn’t bad or is the rigor of his classes but his SAT was below the average for both schools. Oh well, no tears in this house. Meanwhile, IRL he’s getting an A in his Penn State class - the Prof apparently just doesn’t feel like putting the grades on-line!</p>
<p>amandak, owm - sorry to hear the tragic news. Kind of puts all this crazy app season into perspective, doesn’t it?</p>
<p>Kathiep - congratulations on the acceptances! 3 in one day - wow!! And with merit - can’t be beat!</p>
<p>EmmyBet - sorry to hear about the scores and the problem with EA. Kind of frustrating - especially when she had put in all the hard work. Ah well - all things happen for a reason…that’s my mantra when things go wrong…</p>
<p>Amandakayak & OWM: So sorry for the tragic losses your communities have experienced. D’s HS had 2 students die this past summer- one from the choking game of all things. Definitely puts things in perspective :(</p>
<p>On another note, I saw the movie “Race to Nowhere” and it was another one of those “put things in perspective” pieces. I recommend seeing it if you have the opportunity.</p>
<p>As for rejections, none for D yet, but could certainly happen for her reaches. And I agree w/ Emmybet- no one should feel that they can’t post that info here.</p>
<p>I’ve heard that UC Santa Cruz has a very good physics department, and for a strong student it might be a near safety.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing more with us, kathie. We’re all so happy for your son, and we know that he will end up somewhere wonderful. Your perspective is always so helpful, too.</p>
<p>Yes, it isn’t like I’m eager to hear about rejections. I did wonder if people felt embarrassed telling them. But I also was a little concerned that if all we hear is acceptance after acceptance someone might think their kid is the only one getting rejected, and feel left out.</p>
<p>So share as you like, everyone. We all know that probability-wise, we’re going to have plenty of everything among this group, within each of our individual experiences as well. No pressure - but also no reason to hold back, within our community of support, good humor, and a tremendous wealth of information.</p>
<p>AmandaK and OWM: I’m so sorry for you and your kids. This does put things into perspective. If our families are healthy and safe, everything’s okay. I will be counting my blessings next week.</p>
<p>Kathiep: Congratulations to your son on is acceptances! I’m sure the rejections sting a little, but it sounds like he has a lot of great choices. You are a model CC Mom.</p>
<p>AmandaK-you’re right. FB is a horrible way to learn about some things. My sympathy with the family and community.</p>
<p>OWM- gosh, a tragedy like that really hits home. What a sad thing to happen. You just never know.</p>
<p>Slithey : Yes he is definitely looking at UC Santa Barbara and the CCS - if the ELC had gone through, by now he would have been guaranteed admission at UCSB and UC Davis ! But CCS applications are definitely not a safety. Will definitely look at U of Rochester.
He is also reconsidering UC Santa Cruz because of the reputation of the physics department. One reason he has set his eyes on the Ivys/UC Berkeley is because he also wants to minor in Public Policy or International Relations - so he was looking for schools which had both a good Physics program ( primary ) and also good policy schools ( secondary) and he hates to admit it but I think schools with good football programs are also at the back of his mind !</p>
<p>Momjr : Yes he has applied early to Michigan - I think he should make it there, but one never knows. RD for U Chicago.</p>
<p>mamom : He looked at CMU, but they have an interesting requirement for SAT subject tests - they have to be taken in Junior and Senior year only. He completed 3 subjects in Freshman (Chem) and Sophomore (Math2c and Physics), aced them and never bothered to take another one in junior year. I called CMU up and they said he should take it again !</p>
<p>UT84321 : He did look at Rice ( we have visited Houston several times) - but felt that the school was too small. Never considered Utah - but will have him take a look at it. His admissions index is pretty high (140) … the admissions process seems straight forward ( no counselor report, no recommendations, no essays ) so it might be easy for him to apply. Thanks for the tip.</p>
<p>Overall while he was pretty upset in the beginning - but has put it behind him right now. I think it will affect him if he does not get into Berkeley. His school typically sends about 20-25 kids there - so a lot of his friends will be there likely.</p>
<p>dadmm - I don’t know it it will make your son feel any better (probably not), but even with ELC, Berkeley is not a shoo-in. The admit rate goes from about 25% to about 60%. I know an ELC student from last year who was denied at Berkeley. But better not to dwell, and it sounds like your son is moving forward in a good way…</p>
<p>amandak, I’m so sorry to hear this tragic news. My heart goes out to your school community.</p>
<p>OWM, same sympathies to you and yours. These stories are so very, very sad. Makes me want to hug my D and never, ever let go (that’s the strangle-hug, right, Blue?).</p>
<p>I’m glad to know the kids, teachers, and community have counseling available. But in moments like these, my thoughts turn to those poor mothers. They will never be the same. Even after the acute initial grieving is over, and they’ve learned to go on with “normal” routines, I’m told it’s like an essential light has gone out of your life and it can never be re-lit.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your kind words, I really appreciate having you all to “speak” to with both the ups and downs of our days. Ds was inundated with simultaneous txts, calls, aim…it was overwhelming. OWM - terrible loss too close to home too. </p>
<p>I am very sorry Kathiep for inadvertantly stealing your thunder from 4 acceptances in one day - and with merit to boot!!! That is absolutely fantastic! Congrats!!</p>
<p>AmandaK & OWM condolences to your family and your community. What more can I say/? Their families will never be the same.</p>
<p>Kathiep Way to go Your family must be very proud. Thanks for sharing your wonderful news.</p>
<p>Emmybet Im sorry your talented child is suffering at the hands of inept bureaucracy espec after all the effort yall put into doing everything right. Youd think since they dont have their act together that theyd give the kids a break. You shouldnt feel dumb. If one of us did what you did, would you think that of us? Mistakes/oversights/stuff happens. Just proves were human. Im with you Everything happens for a reason.</p>
<p>Dadmm85 I dont understand the CA system. Sounds complex. ELC? Your son must be pretty amazing to have taken the Math, Chem & Physic SAT II tests as a freshman or sophomore. Have you considered schools in the DC area for Public Policy or International Relations?</p>
<p>RM It sounds like the CS course your S is taking is similar to CS AP w/out the exam. Did he have programming b4 taking this class? Is he finding it difficult? If so is it b/c of all the other stuff he is doing or is it just hard?</p>