<p>I am very humbled by some of these ED threads. Some of these kids that have been deferred/rejected are just amazing. I was reading a thread on the NYU forum early this AM (it has been removed). This one kid was rejected and stated he had a Colt45 and was going to kill himself - Sally Rubenstein (Ask the Dean reached out to him and posted that she thought he was going to be OK). But what he had to say really moved me - he claimed he had a perfect GPA and near perfect test scores. He has taken 11 APs and had gotten 5’s on all of them. He was an entreprenuer that has started multiple companies and currently has 11 people working for him. He said he has given up every holiday as long as he can remember because he was serving people less fortunate… all this with the dream of getting into the one school he always wanted to go to - NYU. He now feels that all his hard work wasn’t worth it.</p>
<p>As parents, we believe things will work out for him. But it raises the question - what impact will this highly competitive enviroment have on our kids? Are their expectations unrealistic about what college is and what it provides? How many of these kids understand that it is part of the journey, not the end of the journey? </p>
<p>His post really touched me, it was very passionate, alarming and heart breaking.</p>
<p>Big Congratulations and Big Hugs going out to all the families that are having ups and downs. Just a really weird season of EA/ED IMO. Attempting to make more goodies while the kids are in school to increase my chances of actually having something to give tomorrow. D got notification that she was going to receive a really nice local award that honors hard working, academically bright students who do community service. She will awarded at a luncheon next month and is very excited. No scholarship $$ but it does put her name in the hat for a national award from the same organization. We will see…happy baking to those doing that stuff, happy (??) shoveling to those in that situation and happy tree trimming to those that need it. Deep in the Heart of Texas it will be a beautiful 72 today, but tomorrow brings in the big bad arctic weather…we will have lows in the 30s and highs in the 50s. Down right blizzard conditions for south Texas…haha.</p>
<p>MofB…I cross posted with you and I wanted to edit to say that is just heart wrenching that the kiddo can’t see his future.</p>
<p>Lots of big news for wonderful kids here. Congrats to all. And I’m sorry others have to call on their resilience to weather deferrals and rejections. It stinks but I know these kids will all land where they need to be in the fall. And continued thoughts to those still waiting word. Hope its all good.</p>
<p>Yesterday I shared neuroses over cups of tea with a friend who was awaiting the word from Yale for her son. Later when I went to check my e-mail I found I was really nervous opening her e-mail. I can’t imagine how nervous I will be when its my own child’s decision. Fortunately it was good news and we are thrilled for him. </p>
<p>This is a hard week for those kids who are not awaiting ED/EA decisions too. Lots of emotion around our house and aside from the fact that yes, Mercury is in retrograde, I think a lot of it is from watching friends getting into schools and knowing she has months to go before that dream is realized for her. And the reality of the to do list in front of her. But she is marshalling her will to slog through and I know she feels good about that.</p>
<p>We had a last time event last night- the annual school winter concert. Seeing these young men and women so poised up there my mind went back to when they were little (D has been there since 1st grade) and I teared up. My own emotions are awfully close to the surface these days. </p>
<p>Glad to know everyone is caring for themselves with Christmas preparations, treats and wine (or whiskey as the case may be). Its hard in the hustle and bustle to meet our own needs but so vitally important. I hope all of you continue to tend your own gardens so that you have the reserves we need to support these kids.</p>
<p>This is so key…that they see it all as a journey not a destination…and there are many paths.
Also its important that they don’t see acievements and failures as defining them…kwim. They are part of what they do-- not who they are…there is a difference.
Like the scientist who does an experiment 100 times and fails 100 times–who sees it as learning 100 ways he didn’t achieve his goal and keeps moving forward…reminds me of the Robinsons movie by Disney.</p>
<p>
Truly–best we keep on our side of the fence and tend our own yard/lives lest we allow weeds to overtake our own gardens. Haha</p>
<p>That OP has achieved so much in his young life. With employees and a company established before college entrance? I hope he sees that he may be more cut out for the real work world (think Bill Gates) than the college academic world!</p>
<p>Me too! In fact, if we were match-makers (which I really am not), we could probably have fun fixing up some of these kids. Hey…maybe that should be Round 2 of our Who’s Who? game. Round 2 would be played while the bourbon was flowing! :)</p>
<p>^ When I told Bluejr about the planning of the parent & student get away that we decided our kids are so much alike we’d all have a great time… he quickly asked ‘any girls?’. Gotta love that boy. The discussion here has quickly morphed into a much better proposition of a mom’s getaway which is so fun to explore!</p>
<p>I’m so very thrilled for your kids that got early news yesterday!! Whoot, Whoot!! UT, I know you’ll be there to support your student. That’s a tough one even when you know the odds.</p>
<p>I’m thinking of all those with snow falling and those who may be digging out. I was so glad to wake up and find Bluejr did NOT drive today and took the bus!! I think we are going to get hit worse than they thought. A lousy migraine in the night caused me to cancel a shopping trip with a friend. What a blessing that was!! We would have been on roads that back up terribly with any weather for hours before we knew to turn back. I may have much to do, but I’m warm in my PJs with coffee. All I can add to the holiday decoration brag list is … a train :)</p>
<p>Bluejr asked to talk to me last night. His eyes were oddly sad. He talked to me about a composition in AP Lit he’s afraid he’d bombed and will probably cost his grade. He read the book, did the assignments, received good grades on them, and studied. Writing isn’t his strong point and has gotten lower grades on the essays all year, the higher grades on all else bringing him back up. I talked with him about a few things and we agreed he should contact the teacher and let him know he was doing everything he could think of to prepare, could he offer any suggestions to help him. Bluejr said he just wanted to tell me first. I could see the weight on him. He has wanted to send a pristine report to his top school for semester grades. AP Lit is just kicking his rear. They get tests that mimic the AP exam (where a 65 is generally a 5) and don’t curve… brutal. I don’t know if all teachers in his school are doing this, but this is the one he’s got. I talked to him before I went to bed, as he was slumped over AP Physics. I made sure he knew how proud we were and knew how hard he was working. We were not going to be disappointed if he has a lower grade at midterms. I didn’t see any relief but a heartfelt ‘I love you mom’. These are rough days for our kids. Really, out of all the classes, this may hurt him the least as it’s not in his major, he’s had A’s until now, and a strong SAT. If they bother to look at his essay score from the SAT, they will understand this is probably why he doesn’t have an A…not because he was careless. In the end, they do their best and you can not look back!!!</p>
<p>Today I am thankful that my oldest son only works a short drive from home so he’s safer from the snow…he’s also very close to the grocery store and will call before he comes home so I don’t have to go out. What a blessing he is to me! I am wishing you all a blessing in your lives today. Even if it’s small, it can fill you and take you to tomorrow. Day by day…</p>
<p>Blue, I remember my AP Lit class (a million years ago). Not only was it extremely rigorous, but if writing wasn’t your super-strong suit, you were going to have a very tough time. My D’s school doesn’t teach it quite that way today…they write, but nothing like the very frequent, brutally challenging papers we wrote. (Mind you, I loved it because that was my thing, but it was very challenging.)</p>
<p>I think you’re absolutely right that anyone who looks at bluejr’s mid-year grades will definitely interpret a less-than-A in AP English for what it is: the sign of a very smart, capable kid taking lots of challenging courses, doing superb work in his areas of strength, but still challenging himself and working hard in his areas of lesser strength. I wouldn’t worry a bit, and I hope he won’t either.</p>
<p>These are tough days. I’ve had a not-quite-right songbird around here for awhile, and I’m hoping Christmas vacation down-time is all she needs to feel better soon.</p>
<p>Keeping good thoughts for all of you today.</p>
<p>Disappointing news at our house yesterday:( D got deferred from her EA school. She didn’t have much to say after she found out but after an hour or so she decided that she would start looking at more schools. I am truly sad for her and all of the kids that got deferred or rejected. These kids work so hard and it is a major blow for them. I know that each one will find where they are meant to be and it is a life lesson but I just feel so bad for them. I can’t remember who posted earlier but sometimes I think it might be the parents that take it so hard. I truly believe D could not have done one more thing. Giving lots of hugs yesterday and today.<br>
Congrats to all of the acceptances! I know how hard your kids have worked!!</p>
<p>Congratulations to all of these awesome kids. Just putting themselves in the ED pool is an amazing accomplishment in itself. I am thrilled for those who got in, but frankly I am really impressed with the graciousness and resilience of those who didn’t. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: these kids are getting their values from home and it’s clear that while they feel disappointment, they know they are loved and supported by their families and communities. That is what will resonate with them in the years to come.</p>
<p>I know several kids who are waiting to hear from MIT. Good luck to everyone here who is waiting too.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear your news, Tessa. What an inspiration that just an hour or so after the news, she was already looking toward “Plan B.” I admire your daughter, and know she will land where she is valued and meant to be.</p>
<p>My son is waiting for results at 9pm tonight, and I know I haven’t lived such a long day since I was in labor! He has done everything he could and that has to be what’s important, in the long run. Good wishes all around.</p>
<p>Tessa - so sorry to hear of your D’s news. </p>
<p>I do believe one of the greatest things we can teach them is graciousness in success, and resolve when things don’t go the way they’d hoped. We know as adults this is something few every master. The greatest gift we can give them, IMHO is unconditional support. For every student that will be different. Space, a good cry, ice cream for dinner, sometimes a kick in the rear…but the knowledge that there will always be someone standing in their corner. I know it sounds trite…but simple works best sometimes.</p>
<p>scoutsmom - sending thoughts of peace your way (and chocolate!) as you make it though the next hours. I can’t remember if you guys are MIT hopefuls.</p>
<p>One thing that struck me while reading the stats on these EA and ED threads–is that so many candidates seem “alike”…similar scores and similar ECs…which is why finding their voice is so important. </p>
<p>Perhaps the kids who have come to the place they really “own” their own educational journey and who know themselves enough to let that voice come through on the essays so they are more “fleshed” out to the admissions are providing a clue because truly there are so many well qualified teens and without being behind the closed doors there is no way to know.</p>
<p>As the GCs say, it’s a match to be made, not a prize to be won.
And our kids have to “play the cards” then have in their hands without begrudging someone else’s hand…just ebing themselves.</p>
<p>Either a GC or Admissions officer (I forget who) said that the essays should provide enough insight and clue about who you are-- so that if it was found laying on the ground at your hs (with no name), and someone found it and read it, that they would know who it is by the qualities/voice and life brought to the page.
That’s a very attainable and real card these kids can play.</p>
<p>I heard a story today of a teen who is turning down an ivy because the teen and parents have realized it’s just not a match, just not the right place for her academically and the campus environment was going to be a big change. I think that says a lot and is admirable about good parenting and helping that particular teen evaluate the right fit.</p>
<p>I certainly can’t say it any better than the rest of you have. This is one heck of a group of parents, as well as kids.</p>
<p>Tessa and UT: I love your kids. They dusted themselves off immediately. I admire forward looking people – it’s a great attribute. </p>
<p>scoutsmom and everyone else expecting news – best of luck! </p>
<p>don’t know if anyone here is expecting news from vanderbilt but my neighbor’s son is and apparently that news was mailed on Tuesday night. should arrive any day now.</p>
<p>Sounds like several of us are in the same deferral boat today. My d appreciates the lottery aspect, but was mostly upset at first because she worried that this decision was a signal that her other apps would be unsuccessful and she was dreading telling her friends who thought she was a shoe-in (as stated earlier, unless you are in the thick of these selective apps, it is impossible to comprehend the insanity). D has perfect test scores, perfect GPA, 11 APs (all 5s), amazing recs (as reported to her by a scholarship review person), and deep ECs. Go figure. After about 30 minutes, she got to her homework and resolved to wear the rival school’s sweatshirt to school today. God bless her, her dry sense of humor, and her resilience! One thing I told her that seemed to help was: “you are the same kid tonight that you were this morning!” She texted me that she was feeling better today, so I think her friends must have been very kind at school. </p>
<p>BI - AP Lit is my d’s most challenging class this term; Bluejr is not alone! </p>
<p>Sincere best wishes for good news to the MIT and Chicago folks (and anyone else I am missing) and thank you all for the kind words of support.</p>
<p>TessaR, good for your daughter for going back out on the hunt. </p>
<p>In the good news by proxy category, I just heard that a relative who was admitted to WUStL ED was also awarded their big kahuna merit award, a true full ride. The family has gone through a horrid year with the illness and death of the student’s father, so the acceptance and award were especially sweet.</p>
<p>fog, I wish I could take that post of yours and paste it up on high school bulletin boards across the country.</p>
<p>fog, I’m not so sure about that in terms of the amazing candidates who were deferred on the threads for S, Y, columbia, etc. Most of those candidates had long-term, fabulous ECs in addition to their stats that probably reflect their passions. When we attended the Dartmouth info session, the director of admissions said that at least 90% of the essays they receive these days are truly wonderful. I really think that in the end this is just a crapshoot, plain and very simple. But there is some merit in the “match” aspect, but more from the perspective of the school – do they need a violinist, a football player, a mad scientist this year. There was one accepted kid on the Y thread who caught my attention. When giving his stats, he apologized to the deferred and rejected candidates. Told them he was admitted as an athlete and didn’t have their stats (although they were certainly respectable – just not the tippy top), and he felt badly about that. I was taken by his humbleness but I hope he realizes that he too brings something valuable to the table. His humbleness alone speaks volumes about him. And perhaps it was that athletic ability and all the fine personal attributes that reflects, that made him stand out relative to his peers.</p>
<p>I think you are right that it is about the community each college is creating that given year. These schools need well round and well loopsided kids, kids with ECs in gov, the arts, or sports. They are all bringing something. </p>
<p>What I noticed was how many had the same ECs…Mock Trial stands out in my memory as one I read alot…
For example, when we think about how many high schools have the same teams, same clubs, same ECs…
What makes one top band member or top debate member different from the top ones at every other high school in the nation??
I am not saying the kids shouldn’t be involved and taking advantage of whats available…and gosh there are kids who have had far more in opportunities than many others…I guess I am mulling over how admissions chooses x candidate vs y candidate vs z… kwim. I do think they look to see if a kid has been drinking deeply from the well they have attended so to speak.</p>
<p>Another way we might look at it—
Consider how many colleges “look” the same on paper…similar stats, or size, yet when visitng a campus often the culture of that campus is palpable…and a teen can “feel” the fit or not. One school we visited…seemed perfect on paper…yet upon visiting…our student was dead set on NO. Not even a “maybe” </p>
<p>Perhaps the admissions reps can sense cultural fit through voice/essays and LOR to get a sense whether x,y,or z is a better fit…
idk…just pondering…there is a story behind every teen’s app and that is what the admissions is trying to hear…</p>
<p>
It is sweet to hear that this young man understands the competition was fierce…and at the same time - do we see URMs apologizing for playing that card? Or Violinists who were first chair apologizing for playing that card…I hope his parents and GC etc give him a hug and let him know he got in on his merits and the cards he played…</p>