<p>Our experience with private school has been the same as momofsongbird’s, but that’s because it is also a girls’ Catholic (fairly liberal) school with a very strong culture, modest tuition by local standards and a wonderful diverse and middle-class population. We are immensely grateful to the school. It’s not as competitive as some other area privates-- it might send only one or two girls to an Ivy each year, for instance-- but they get an excellent, rounded education and the place is not full of status symbols and eating disorders. </p>
<p>But we live in an area of Southern California with a lot of high-end private schools. Some do have issues with elitism, social pressure, eating disorders, drugs, etc. But most are excellent, and families who pay attention can help avoid a lot of the potential problems.</p>
<p>That said about privates, even in SoCal, where great public schools are not exactly rampant, I’ve seen many kids excel at them and go on to excellent colleges, if they get on the college track and stay focused.</p>
<p>Even in the Bay Area where there are some dicey public schools, there are also exceptional public schools where many kids go on to attend top colleges and universities. It really depends on the school and the population that attends the school. </p>
<p>My D goes to a small private school, which we chose not to escape horrible public schools, but more for the extras it could provide. The public school that she would have gone to had we not chosen her private is very highly regarded with many, many hard-working top students. We know many middle class families from there who have sent their kids to ivies/top 20 universities/top LACs or UCLA/Cal.</p>
<p>mamom, I think the private v. public choice is not always straightforward. We live in a Massachusetts town with a strong public high school. I think the kids in the honors/AP classes get into strong colleges with the same or greater frequency than the private schools. Interestingly, between the public where ShawSon went and the private that ShawD attends, people in the know tell me that there is more cliquishness and snobbishness among the girls at the public school. The private school seems to manage that much better, despite the fact that there is a significant amount of wealth among some of the parents. As I said, we chose it for ShawD because it would raise the bar for her. She’s quite peer-influenced and if she fell into a group of girls that didn’t weigh academics highly, she might be swayed. At the private school, those girls mostly don’t last long. The headmaster or other administrator would have a chat with the parents and suggest that “Little Joanie might find a better fit elsewhere” which is the WASPy way of saying goodbye. So, those who remain are all serious (and many become serious because of the peer group). One never knows what would have happened if we’d sent her to the public school or her distant second choice private school, but we think the end result is good. When we expressed concerns about freshman year disconnects, the school psychologist sent us out to get additional testing because he thought she was ADHD. That diagnosis, when confirmed, enabled a continuing improvement. Interestingly, I don’t think the teaching quality is on average any better than at the public HS, but the peer influences and the teacher demands have generally been very valuable for her. But, we chose the public HS for her brother and that was likely a superior choice as the public school was much more flexible than the private would have been with respect to a curriculum that matched his LDs.</p>
<p>We had the same private/public discussion for D. We went through a so-so freshman year at the public school and then decided that she would try for private schools. She did get into a couple of “elite” private boarding schools. Lots of angst - but she finally decided that she didn’t want to go to the private school. I do think she would have been challenged more in the private school, would have been a bit more well-rounded, but that’s just my gut feeling. The director of this school did tell us that in her experience, kids from these private schools are just that much better prepared for college. D’s public school is known to send kids to the Ivies every year (two kids are already in at MIT EA this year).</p>
<p>shawbridge - the clique issue and the peer-group thing bothered me as well. Fortunately for us, D fell in with a great group of girls - all academically oriented kids who love to have fun - but not involved with drugs and alcohol. On the other hand, she does spend a great deal of time with girls from her different sports - and these girls are a completely different story. Frequent talks of parties, kids having been busted for alcohol (interestingly, they are still allowed to play!).</p>
<p>I’m popping by to quickly say camathmom, I got a good chuckle out of your newfound love for Cornell. As the mother of procrastinator, oh how I understand.</p>
<p>Hi All
Has been a peaceful break and except for the "reminders’ for kiddo2 to start prepping for the semester exams…all is well in our household…
…kiddo1 is happy to not be doing apps and to be done.<br>
I asked what friends of kiddo are doing during break–(my guess is apps) and maybe some semester exam prep.
Our kids are happy to be playing Playstation and eating leftover Christmas cookies.</p>
<p>Does anyone have teens doing something for New Years??
Ours want to hang at the house, have a nice meal with the family etc…no interest in getting together with friends. I think they are enjoying the “down time”, sleeping late and getting their favorite meals etc.</p>
<p>Also–random question–I have the original Trivial Pursuit…which I bought in college when it first came out. Looking at new card sets–are there any sets as good as the originals -yet updated for changes in geography/maps/ etc…We generally answer with both 1980s answers and current answers…for example, Croatia etc…as well as Yugoslavia
or answer Pluto (even though science now says its not a planet) I have read some reviews that other card sets aren’t as good. (I bought the BabyBoomer set when it came out and we have never used it–we didn’t know any of the questions/answers–I think they are more geared toward my parents generation)</p>
<p>On privates- we have been happy with the choice–We had been big supporters of good local publics yet overcrowding and behavior of the general population (not in honors classes etc) was off the hook…That is not to say that the average student at this private is making the best use of time/resources - yet the opportunities are there whereas the local public has lost resources due to budget constraints.</p>
<p>On gingerbread houses–A-K it is wonderful! You did a great job!</p>
<p>Happy almost New Year to everyone. We returned this afternoon after four day with my family on the other side of Missouri and four days with my husband’s family in Louisville. My mom is 85; my husband’s parents are 82 and 80 and not in the best of wealth so we felt this trip was important, even though it cut our son’s winter break really short.</p>
<p>Our son was SO ready to be home with his friends after 8 days of grandparents asking him the same questions about high school, college, girls, et. He likes to wear hoodies over t-shirts (sort of his uniform) and his grandfather kept telling him to take his jacket off. My father-in-law wears Mr. Rogers type cardigans all the time and it was all my son could do to not say “why don’t you take your sweater off?” We played Apples to Apples last night–a game our son and his friends love to play. But playing it with my mother-in-law was excruciatingly painful. She over-thought every word and didn’t get anyone’s attempt at humor or sarcasm. Our son kept texting me during the game that he was about to scream.</p>
<p>He is usually very social and conversational with adults but I think we truly tested his patience on this trip. </p>
<p>Guess I need to go back a bunch of pages and catch up. Hope everyone’s holidays were awesome.</p>
<p>Just checking with a holiday hello…have been celebrating and traveling and am just getting settled back at home. Nothing new…but congrats to everyone making progress and good luck on the looming deadline.</p>
<p>OWM - Before you go to sleep, please give your son a huge hug. It is so wonderful that he spent 8 days of his vacation with his grandparents. Only when he is in your shoes or their shoes will he truly appreciate how much that time meant. He is a special child.</p>
<p>amanda: love the photos. it sounds like quite an involved process. to weigh in on the public/private debate: I am a huge believer in public education. obviously there are times when the district is just plain old bad, but if you are lucky to be in a district with even an okay school, then there is usually a benefit to being with a cross-section of kids. you may have to make more of an effort to know the guidance counselors and teachers, but there is likely to be less pressure to “one-up” financially. I guess the exception are the parochial schools, where you find more a values-centric population.</p>
<p>OWM: I bet the grandparents loved having your son there! I can just imagine what my daughter’s reaction would be if we attempted a game like Apples to Apples with our older relatives! The picture of Grandpa asking him to take off his jacket over and over again gives me the giggles…I guess a sweatshirt that is a shirt and not a jacket is a new fad!</p>
<p>Daughter’s application progress: 2 more submitted today EARLY! That’s what our family calls anything submitted one day before the due date. She has a couple to finish up tomorrow, which is what I expected. I had no illusions that these would be done before the actual deadline. I plan to go out to some friends’ party tomorrow evening with my husband and have a great time whether she’s done or not. I know that she’ll get them done by about 11:55 pm and I’m glad I won’t be at home trying not to nag!</p>
<p>Anybody else have kids who will be working away tomorrow to meet a Dec. 31st deadline?</p>
<p>Thankfully no-he is finished (although he may add one January 15 school).</p>
<p>Had to laugh at the EARLY line-that’s the thinking here of 50% of the household-this process is going to be so much easier for D (unless she completely changes her personality.). </p>
<p>OWM I agree that your boy needs additional hugs for being such a good sport. The time my children spend with the old folk in my family means so much to them and some day the kids will realize what a gift they received by being with them-but boy it can be hard on the little ones. My mother was lecturing me yesterday about making sure my D dresses respectfully (we were so blessed to have Mom at the Mall with us) and I assured her we would-and she is always telling S to "Pull up those pants!). Having almost lost her several times this year the kids are a little less annoyed when they hear it! I think trying to play Apples to Apples would push the kids over the edge-good for your son!</p>
<p>The public/private school choice is one that I tread carefully on. I don’t know if there is a right answer. My husband and I both went to Catholic schools and I got in a heap of trouble at mine while he excelled at his. I would have gotten in a heap of trouble anywhere and he would have excelled anywhere-I think it is very dependent on the person. I was a follower (back then anyway) and my husband was not. My kids are both not followers so I like their chances to “follow” in their father’s footsteps.</p>
<p>I do think if S had gone to his father’s alma mater as offered to him he would without doubt have a more impressive academic resume but would it matter in the long haul? Would he have done as much EC work there as he has with the HS being down the street and him being more comfortable here? I don’t know. It’s true he would have gotten better guidance but now that I have learned everything on CC my daughter will not have that problem.</p>
<p>Based on my limited view here, although I do teach in our parish Religious Education program so I (perhaps) am more connected than some parents in town, the social pressures on these kids seems high whether they are at private school or stay in town. I think it does depend on the child-the temptations are everywhere.</p>
<p>50isthenew40: Yes! We are right there with you finishing up one supplement and one scholarship application to meet the deadline today. </p>
<p>I guess I can’t complain too much as he would have been done “early” (the day before the deadline ) if we had not traveled 6 hours round trip yesterday to spend the day with my parents. They so appreciated having all of us make the trip. Always a bit of a struggle for us as their place is small (retirement cottage) and there are 6 of us. It always seems a bit smaller once you get all of us in there together. Top it off with my daughter who has special needs and the place seems like a shoe box after the first hour. But it was so worth it. The boys sat around the table eating Christmas cookies with them and answering all of their questions about high school, college, girls, etc. Neither of my parents have been in great health this year – my mom especially – so it truly was a gift to have both of them there to greet us yesterday.</p>
<p>Fingers crossed that today’s applications go out without a hitch! I have been reminding S2 of the bad things that can happen when one waits until the last minute…</p>
<p>Oh, one more update. He had an interview with a local alum for his reach-reach school this week. Said it went well, but I’m not sure it will carry much weight in the long run. The chances are just so slim.</p>
<p>OWM: Meant to mention in my last post – hat’s off to your son for his patience in spending 8 days among the retirement crowd! My husband’s parents visited us for 4 days over Christmas and then we traveled to see my folks yesterday. That was enough for my kiddos. My brother in law had recently introduced my father in law to Facebook and had shown him my sons’ facebook pages. Throughout their visit, my FIL kept telling my sons about the things that he had read on “The Face” as he called it. (Needless to say, my sons were soooooo happy that my BIL had shared their facebook pages with Grandpa!)</p>
<p>Thank you, my CC friends, for the wisdom you shared and the support you provided this year. You made the good times sweeter and the stressful times less painful.</p>
<p>Congrats to all our great kids who put in so much effort to wade thru this long and difficult process. Hugs to all those kids who exhibited patience and love with our aging family members. May you continue to develop into happy adults.</p>
<p>May 2011 bring our families lots of big envelopes spilling over with huge scholarships so our biggest question come May 1 will be which wonderful offer to accept. May illness not knock on our front doors. May our empty or emptier nests be filled will new, fun and interesting adventures.</p>
<p>ohiomom - thanks for the laugh; I actually snorted my hot beverage as I read about “The Face.” </p>
<p>ditto to FlMathmom’s lovely sentiment</p>
<p>Later today, I will be triple checking that the merit stuff at D’s schools do NOT require FAFSA or any other dreaded financial report. I did check about a month ago, but had one of those wake up in the middle of the night moments so I will do it again.</p>
<p>Yesterday, we did an IRA conversion, some charitable giving, and tried to figure out if we needed to create any capital losses to offset any capital gains (no, I think…) </p>
<p>Safe driving to all (kids included) tonight. I am happily serving as designated driver for our family and younger kid’s friends needing rides to the same party as younger kid as well as hostess to D’s teammates for a gathering/sleepover. Should be fun! Cheers.</p>
<p>(I just re-read my post from last night. Glad you all figured I meant that our parents were not in the best of “health” rather than “wealth,” which is what I typed!)</p>
<p>Thanks to the 2011 parents for all the encouragement. We really don’t “know” each other but I believe we’re all kindred spirits with great kids who make us proud now and will continue to do so–even if they stray off the path we’d like them to follow. Our older son, his wife and our adorable grandchild spent four days with us, visiting my mother and brothers. It was the first time our daughter-in-law had met many of our family. She fit in beautifully. The picture we took Christmas night of my mother, her four children, their four spouses, her nine grandchildren and one spouse and her great-grandson will be priceless for years to come.</p>
<p>For years, we will tell our grandson about his first Christmas morning in the hotel room that adjoined ours. The 3-foot Christmas tree on the desk and the TV station that showed a burning fireplace while playing Christmas carols. We are truly blessed.</p>
<p>May 2011 bring you all many precious memories–no matter how big the envelopes are this spring!</p>
) if we had not traveled 6 hours round trip yesterday to spend the day with my parents. They so appreciated having all of us make the trip. Always a bit of a struggle for us as their place is small (retirement cottage) and there are 6 of us. It always seems a bit smaller once you get all of us in there together. Top it off with my daughter who has special needs and the place seems like a shoe box after the first hour. But it was so worth it. The boys sat around the table eating Christmas cookies with them and answering all of their questions about high school, college, girls, etc. Neither of my parents have been in great health this year – my mom especially – so it truly was a gift to have both of them there to greet us yesterday.</p>