<p>Kathie - congrats to your S! Two in one day, nice.</p>
<p>I like the Twain quote and have noted it on my list of ideas for the yearbook. Somewhere in the back of my brain I have something stored for the yearbook, but I just can’t pry it loose. </p>
<p>We encouraged S to look at schools all over. Except for VA schools, which we dragged him to and he ended up impressed with, he refused to look at schools in the south. I categorize VA as south, it is isn’t it? He also refused schools in CA because of earthquakes. So all his schools are in the midwest or on the east coast. He is not the adventurous one in our family. His younger sis will not only be going far away to school she may bypass college so she can hitch hike around China. I have two neices who are plane trips away at school and both may end up settling near school and not coming back home. The other neices and nephews who go to school locally will probably stay here for life. I am of the mind I want my kids to spread their wings. If they settle somewhere away from where we live now I will worry about it then. </p>
<p>S has midterms/finals this week. Took Calc BC AP yesterday. Said it went well, but he just tells us what we want to hear so I will have to wait for the grades.</p>
<p>BI that is a great idea-do you think we could actually get them to wear those shirts? It is entirely possible that some of our children will be in the same school, and that would be so cool if they actually met.</p>
<p>I can handle any kids coming into the NE region-particularly Southern New England.</p>
<p>@pepper: yes, the pangs have started for me too. @flmathmom: there is a silver lining to sending a child to college up north when you live in south florida, namely that your house will be the cool destination for all of his friends when they want to get out of the freezing cold…expect lots of visits from S and company all winter long.</p>
<p>When my kids were choosing schools, people were always shocked that I would consider sending them far away. My parameters were that if it’s on the Southwest map, then it’s viable. It’s actually much easier to get on a plane from the local airport and show up at college three hours later (often for $59) than it is to arrange for buses and trains, etc.
One thing I insisted on was that (after admission) my child traveled back and forth alone to said college for a scheduled visit (set one up with admissions where they spend the day with a current student, go to class, eat in the dining room). If she was able to navigate the travel on her own, then I was comfortable. If it proved to be cumbertsome, it was off the table.</p>
<p>I’m of the mind that you never know where ANYONE will end up. My in laws are a good example. My FIL grew up in Colorado, graduated from CSU. My MIL grew up here in PA, but spent summers with her teacher parents in Wyoming (her father was a huge fly fisherman), she decided to go to college in Wyoming. Met my FIL, married and then he got a job in NJ so they moved just across the river in Delaware. FIL worked for the same company his entire adult life and they raised their kids in DE. But when it came time for retirement, they moved back to Colorado. Meanwhile, my MIL’s siblings married and moved to Michigan and Missouri. Who would have predicted that? The rest of their extended family generally stayed in the same area of PA. And ironically, my husband and I moved to the same general area after having been raised in Delaware and having moved ourselves to four different states. College is just four years, and in my experience is no prediction of where they will end up.</p>
<p>Unfortunately his schools the greatest distance away have no easy and/or inexpensive flight options so that is going to be an issue in “The Decision”. One of them is in his top two so I can see this becoming an issue.</p>
There will certainly be a column to note this on S’s (my) spreadsheet when comparing schools, but I don’t think it will be given a lot of weight. Unfortunately at least 3 of S’s schools will be a pain and relatively expensive to get to. They are not on well traveled routes from us and not within driving distance.</p>
<p>Don’t you wish you were the one going off to school? I am at a crossroads in my own life, wish I had that chance again and could take it for all it offers. I took the easy way out alot in college and didn’t push myself - I just think I am so much more interested in this college search, the options and ds? He’s just hanging out waiting for it all to fall in his lap! Midterms this week…he couldn’t be more laid back…this senioritis/heartbreak/boy-ness UGH!!! I am having pangs alright but I am not sure if it is just an ulcer developing. :)</p>
<p>amanda - funny thing you should say that. I was just thinking this morning while I was getting dressed how I wish I could go back 25 years but ONLY if I could go back with all the wisdom I’ve gathered I don’t have regrets per se, but I was unaware of many opportunities that have now passed me by.</p>
<p>I get you, amanda. Going to college is exciting! Except when my college D is in the throes of finals stress, I do kind of envy these kids.</p>
<p>Distance: I went to school 1000 miles away from home. It was very refreshing to me. I know my mom wondered if she was “losing me forever.” I did stay in that city for several years, mostly because I’d met my now-husband and he was in med school. We went back to my home area for his residency program, and both of my kids were born there. But then we moved to the midwest again. We could live in either place, but there is a lot that I really like about my “adopted” part of the country. Would I have lived anywhere but the east if I hadn’t first come to college out here? I’d like to think I would have struck out for parts unknown at any point in my single life. I think hooking up with a life partner is a big part of how you decide where to live.</p>
<p>D1 did want to go “away,” and for her it was logical to go back where I was from, for something new AND familiar, too. D2 has her eyes on that area. Part of it is what they could get from schools there that is somewhat unique, but they don’t have stars in their eyes about that. D1 is finishing now, and she’s told me she doesn’t feel like a transplant. But again, she has a BF here, so that plays into it. D2 has a BF, but she’s willing to go far away from him for the sake of her college experience. </p>
<p>I think there are a lot of factors that will play into where they end up. The travel stuff is a pain sometimes, and I envy kids that can get in a car and be home in a couple of hours. But on the other hand they’re at schools where they see kids from home all the time, where they aren’t getting the experience my girls really crave - being someplace really new and different. I find myself wishing D2 will pick the school 5 hours (or a quick plane ride) from home, because I’m a bit tired after 4 years of the long travel grind, and because she’ll be in performing arts and otherwise we’ll be lucky to see her perform once or twice rather than whenever we/she wants us to. But I won’t begrudge her “getting away” one bit. I think it is a tremendous opportunity, one I had, and one don’t regret for a moment.</p>
<p>My D, as you know, is in boarding school in MA. She’s been negotiating the cumbersome (good word for it, college4three) airport craziness alone since she was 14. When I see those ads on tv with some guy or gal easily navigating through an airport like a road-warrior, I think of my D and how she chooses the right line, has her shoes off, computer open, and a big smile ready almost instantaneously. Why, however, the airlines will have you route through a more southernly or westernly airport when you are going a pretty much straight line shot from Point A north to Point B south or vice versa is something that has me in a quandary. They’ve tried routing her through Cleveland on more than one occasion. How is this cost effective? </p>
<p>/rant</p>
<p>Any way, I’m sure after a time or two everyone’s kids will be traveling the ‘Sort-of Friendly’ skies without any problem. I’m only going to start worrying when she traverses the skies to someplace like Outer Mongolia – on her list! – and gets in a 5-yak pileup on the Steppes.</p>
<p>I work right across the street from UT - Austin, so if any of your DS’s or DD’s end up here, I can look out my office window and check up on them. Okay, not exactly – the UT campus is huge, but I can see the south side of the dorm where two of my DS’ good buddies will be living next year.</p>
<p>Ahhh to go back to college. I have LOVED the campus visits and could envision my sons (or me!) at so many of them. The one thing that I’ve done differently with my kids: When I was ready to apply to colleges, my dad took a map and a compass and drew a circle that was a 2 hour drive from my hometown. Then he said that anywhere affordable in that circle was okay. I have sworn that I will not limit my kids in the same way. S2 will definitely take advantage of the opportunity to spread his wings and fly the coop. S1 (a real homebody) ended up closer to home – by his own choice.</p>
<p>OMG my mom did the compass thing and basically that led me to pick schools on the circumference of that circle so I had Maine to Chicago to NC!!! And Novelisto - there was a House Hunters Int’l episode on the other day where the english guy was uprooting himself to Outer Mongolia and was buying an apt there, starting an english language school - I was shocked that Ulan Batur was so modern, the apts (all under $200K) looked like lower manhattan lofts. I just assumed it would all be yurts.</p>
<p>blue - thanks for that quote, it fits right in with what H keeps telling D. Might end up using it - for now, I’ve added it to the list we are considering.</p>
<p>Distance - we told D we wouldn’t limit her in this at all. She herself ruled out CA and the west coast (she had to somehow trim schools!). But she has applied to several in the east coast, mid west and the south. Some will be a 2-3 drive from home, some will be a 2-4 hour flight from home. One is a painful 7 hour drive from home, with no real easy flight access AFAIK. A friend’s D went to school about an hour’s drive from home - and it was nice in some ways - she could come home for a special birthday, come home when she was really sick - I think that’s what we would miss if D were a flight away from home. But, this is her opportunity to test the waters outside of home and we don’t want to hold her back.</p>
<p>During Spring Break last year, we traveled from Florida to Boston to Southern Calif (Ontario airport) to visit colleges. I specifically booked the red eye for our return to Florida as that would be how our son would likely travel if he chose a CA school. It didn’t faze him. He has taken plenty of 20+ hour flights to Israel to visit his sisters so CA is a hop-skip-jump. He has also flown on his own during the past few summers to attend different college programs - some in Atlanta, others in Boston, NC and Calif. He knows to go with the flow when planes are delayed and gates are switched.</p>
<p>Altho I’m not one for regrets, I do wish I had more options when I chose a college. I had one - a SUNY school. Since I grew up on Long Island, I decided Stonybrook was too close & Buffalo was too far. I chose Albany, my sister Binghamton. I got a great education for almost nothing (Regents scholarship). My employer paid for my MBA which I did PT after work at NYU. It took me six long years. After that was done, I finally got to take some fun and interesting music, art & philosophy classes at the School of Ethical Culture in NYC. Now my husband and I take a class each semester at FAU. Gotta keep the brain alive.</p>
<p>I have an idea for our tee-shirts. We could create a logo that our kids would recognize if they saw another kid wearing. Maybe a high-tech heart/computer with the letters CC intertwined. Not sure the boys would go for the heart part (representing the mom). Any thoughts? Other ideas?</p>
<p>Hi all -
I’ve just read the last few pages to catch up before running off to work, and I can hardly post for the tears — it WILL be different next year. Finals start tomorrow and S is stressed feeling like his calculus is going to win the battle and a c in that class would kill his chances of his dream school (he’s doing IB diploma and has never had a c - so he’s not dealing with the idea very well!). I am threatened with losing - or significantly cutting my job, and besides that - my baby (graduating S) is going away!! It is so unfair that menopause and your children leaving hit at the same time! How am I supposed to go off to work sweating and crying at the same time!!! HA!
So glad you are all on the thread to enjoy this little part of the journey with :)</p>
<p>We didn’t limit dd in geography but rather in money- she could go to schools that had the GI bill. Turns out, totally surprising us, she is getting great merit money and we will have to rethink even using the GI bill now. Maybe much better to pay some money now and use for her law school or for part of younger’s schooling. So she chose lots of schools in the South (for the climate and also where I thought we would be ending up in a few years) and several in the upper Midwest and Mountain state and lower plains. Her requirements were climate (though she did do some school in very cold places), not big bastions of liberalness, enough Christians for a good community, and that is about it on the non academic side. NOw that she will be visiting, food and housing will play a role along with general atmosphere on the campus.</p>
<p>oh yeah, if only I could turn the clocks back. I sometimes regret not being more of a risk taker. S is just like me in so many ways. D is the risk taker and just like H. I have told both kids they need to move outside their comfort zone a million times. You can’t lose or win the game if you never step up to bat. </p>
<p>I have to smile when S is asked about the college search process by others. He was on board, but he certainly wasn’t driving. He likes to take the credit and I won’t dispute it.</p>
I don’t have regrets per se, but I was unaware of many opportunities that have now passed me by.</p>
Okay, not exactly – the UT campus is huge, but I can see the south side of the dorm where two of my DS’ good buddies will be living next year.</p>