<p>Wow- I guess it is time for a number of lurkers to let you know we are here and reading. D. is starting to get her acceptances now and she is a happy camper, especially when they giver her some merit aid. We are waiting on a few more answers from some more selective schools, but she will be happy if she ends up at Siena College (to which she was accepted yesterday). She was not accepted to her ED, long time favorite (Smith) and I cruised the forums for a while to find comforting words for her. (Leaving her alone seemed to be the best advice and worked for her.) So Hi to all of you, and hope your student’s search is going well.</p>
<p>blueiguana - my heart goes out to you, BlueJr and his friend family. Such sad news.</p>
<p>Welcome to all new members.</p>
<p>Not a day goes by I don’t think about MOSB and SB and their devastating loss…and to see Bluejr has lost a friend is heartbreaking beyond words-I will send those postive thoughts your way.</p>
<p>welcome to all the new posters. I have been reading but not posting lately. My heart breaks for those of you who have experienced loss recently. Sending positive vibes your way. </p>
<p>I just need to vent today…D has pretty much decided where she is going. We will get tuition at state flagship and she got additional merit money but it still does not cover 100% of room and board. My problem is that I cannot get her to fill out any additional scholarship apps. She lost a pretty much guaranteed 1k scholarship from an organization DH belongs to. All she had to do was complete the app and get teacher recs. She did not submit the request for teacher recs…said she kept forgetting. Now there is another $500 book award that she can pretty much get if she completes that app. Again she is dragging her feet. that deadline is 1/31. I don’t know what to do. Its like she doesn’t care about paying for college. I asked her does she just expect her parents to pay for everything. She says she just plans to get a student loan for what ever is not covered by school scholarships. I just can’t get her to understand that this is money that she is just giving to someone else. She says she has too much school work and afterschool activities that she just can’t remember to do the scholarship stuff. I told her it is obviously not important enough for her to remember or she would…</p>
<p>I am just so frustrated right now. It so hard for me to just let it go and let her suffer the consequences. I know its not the end of the world but she just doesn’t seem to get.</p>
<p>thoughts are with the family and friends suffering the loss - so sorry!</p>
<p>glad everyone is joining in</p>
<p>blueiguana - I am so sorry for BlueJr and your loss!! Keep hugging those seniors (and anyone else that lets you). Cyber hugs to you ((()))</p>
<p>Welcome to OneGirlsMom, kinderny, ahappymom, WalkingTessie and any new ones that I may have missed! I hope you will feel free to contribute your experiences; it is really helpful to the rest of us to hear what others are going through!</p>
<p>Kinderny mentioned responding to her daughter’s disappointment about a rejection; my daughter has experienced rejection from an academic standpoint for the first time recently, in not making semifinalist for several scholarships lately. I am coming to realize how many other top students there are. I’m grateful also for any good news that is interspersed with the disappointing news! </p>
<p>My sympathy also to SB, bluejr. and their family. A friend of my daughter lost her brother to suicide recently, so my D attended the funeral to support her friend. I knew the friend as well; I gave her a hug and asked her how she was doing, but it was hard even for me (as an adult) to know what to say in such a difficult time.</p>
<p>Hi everyone - and welcome to the thread, anyone who is new. We love new people! AHappyMom - your post was truly inspiring, thank you.</p>
<p>blue - I am so sorry to hear about another loss of a young man. It is heartbreaking, and I send your son warm wishes.</p>
<p>Paperwork burnout - I have heard this story so many times. We can’t walk in their shoes, and these kids do have so much on their minds. I don’t blame them for thinking something could get put off until later, even if it bugs us that it means they will have debt. But sometimes doing that one more app - even to a school that might change their life - is just not possible. Good for you, mom, for letting her own this. Don’t let it come between you.</p>
<p>Lots of great, thoughtful parents here - Val, Sal, whatever. They are great kids any way it turns out. There have been some really eye-opening threads on CC in the spring of the past couple of years about end-of-year results at HSs: awards ceremonies, graduations, etc. There will be lots of surprises, for good and for bad. My personal opinion is get very strongly in the mode of “this is HS - soon it will be in your far distant past.” When money is involved … that is a big disappointment and frustration. </p>
<p>But so many people are right on here: the big lesson for everyone is to see the important things in life and be able to move on, and move forward. That’s my dream for my kid in a couple of months, when she WILL get a bunch of rejections. </p>
<p>I’ve been talking to D1 about her job search, and honestly I’m saying a lot of the same things to her that I’d say to any college applicant - don’t take a rejection personally, find lots of options, and just keep plugging. </p>
<p>D2 had her first alumni interview last night. She said she enjoyed it. Beforehand, when I was going to give her a pep talk, she told me right off all of the questions she wanted to ask HIM, so I figured she was in good shape. She said an alumnus was the best person to ask about student life and those kinds of things that aren’t on the website. Good for her! This is a reach school, but maybe the interview will help a little. It actually makes me realize how lucky we are to have those auditions - she’ll get time with major faculty at all of those schools, something most applicants don’t get. It has its good and bad points, but it is a privilege, and she knows they’ll really meet her and see what she can do.</p>
<p>Welcome to all the new posters. Thanks for sharing your stories.</p>
<p>BI: I’m so sorry to hear about your son’s friend. I’ll keep you both in my thoughts.</p>
<p>Congratulations on the lastest acceptances and scholarships. I’m sorry for the kids who are dealing with disapointments.</p>
<p>Emmybet: I bet that your daughter rocked that interview. She went in with a great attitude (must be hereditary).</p>
<p>FLmathmom: I thought of you when I put on my sweatshirt before bed last night. That’s okay, I wouldn’t trade the snowy view out my window for sunshine right now.</p>
<p>hello new friends
hugs to bluejr so sad</p>
<p>gamom - my D was approaching burnout so we had the scholarship work discussion. It helped her appreciate how valuable the $$ is when I said “if you win that it is like saving X hours of babysitting (or tutoring or lifeguarding).” When she figured out that one of the larger ones was like an entire summer of work, it motivated her. That being said, sometimes they do need a break. My D was quite stressed earlier this week and I told her to take a break. I even advised her NOT to do an app for a scholarship that she had a lower chance of earning. There is a fine line between needing a break for good emotional health and needing to put in a bit more effort. Hard to know where the line is, especially with teenagers. Glad to be in the home stretch at this point…</p>
<p>blue - sorry to hear that news. Hugs to both you and blue jr…</p>
<p>Welcome new posters! </p>
<p>BI – My sincere sympathy to your son…it is so sad to hear of a young life lost.</p>
<p>Burnout – Well, procrastination seems to have been replaced with burnout. S2 really has worked hard, but just as the finish line is coming into sight, he is fizzling out. He has one more RD application to submit and a couple of scholarship applications. A few local scholarships will open up in February. I think it just feels endless to him. I can’t blame him…it sort of feels endless to me, too. The good news is that first semester is over, grades were stellar, and he’s on to his last semester!</p>
<p>Interviews: My son has seemed so laid back about the alumnus interviews that it makes me wonder if he is taking them seriously enough. Really, shouldn’t he seem at least a little nervous?? He doesn’t want to prepare (I offered to role play) and doesn’t feel the need to brainstorm a list of questions (he said they’ll come to him during the conversation). I guess I should just be happy that he feels confident.</p>
<p>MOSB and Blue - you and your children and friends are in my prayers. This time is so difficult and poignant, even without tragedy - the fact that you are there and listening with love goes a long way!</p>
<p>So glad more folks are chiming in - please keep chiming - the more we have, the better the music!</p>
<p>S finished finals yesterday - YAY - no thoughts here of top placement in the class, but still hoping to eke out a B in calculus - he won’t know his grade for another week, probably, but the relief at the end of semester is palpable and this weekend he will have “guy time” with dad and a few friends for a weekend in the mountains. Much deserved!
Like some others, we are in waiting mode. One EA school hasn’t sent merit information yet, and two schools are evaluating for larger scholarship invitations in the next couple of weeks. Everything else won’t be until April.
In the meantime - state competition in EC is coming up, he will start practice for his sport, and he’s now able to give some brain space to planning a road trip over spring break with his older bro.
Good energy around here today :)</p>
<p>blueiguana, so saddened to hear of BlueJr’s loss of friend/teammate. My most sincere condolences to you, him and your community on such a tragic loss.</p>
<p>MOSB: keeping you & SB in my thoughts/prayers also.</p>
<p>Welcome to all the new posters. I lurked for a while last year- I gained tons of info that way, but joining this amazing and knowledgeable group has been even more helpful than you can imagine :)</p>
<p>Welcome to OneGirlsMom, kinderny, ahappymom, and WalkingTessie. We are looking forward to your input and getting to know you and your kids.</p>
<p>Families of BI and MOSB - huge hugs to all</p>
<p>Our family belongs to a Chavurah (a friendship group) that we pray with on Friday evenings and celebrate holidays with. Most are empty nesters with no family in town. One of our members went in for bypass surgery on Wednesday. I think we all assume these surgeries are sorta routine nowadays so hearing his situation is precarious came as a big surprise. Please pray for him, his family and his doctors. Thanks.</p>
<p>I have a controversial suggestion re:the scholarship question. Is it wrong to help your child complete the applications by completing the routine biographical and academic info such as name, address, school, grades, scores as long as your child writes the essays?</p>
<p>FIMath - Heck no, if I didn’t take off some of the pressure by doing the inane, I think he’d never get any of this done. Call me an enabler but this is my Tom Sawyer and I want to paint that fence!</p>
<p>BI- I am so sorry to read about Bluejr’s loss. Hugs to all.</p>
<p>Gamom- Perhaps you can have your D set aside 15-20 minutes a day to work on scholarship apps. I can almost always ask for 15 minutes of time from my kids, it is not overwhelming and they usually end up giving me more. </p>
<p>Welcome to all the newcomers! </p>
<p>Got a letter from the Mother’s Guild yesterday. They state “you must all have noticed the wonderful enbroidered tableclothes used at special functions…” huh??? No one in our family noticed them and we attend a lot of stuff at S’s school. Although I admit to not attending any Mother’s Guild stuff since freshman year, I would have prefered the Fathers Group. But, I won’t rant about how lame I found the Mother’s Group. Anyway, I guess for $15 they will engrave your S’s name and year of graduation on one of the “wonderful enbroidered tableclothes”. This will probably be the last time I feel pressured to buy something so my S doesn’t feel left out. He says he doesn’t care, but for $15 I will do it.</p>
<p>FLMathMom: I will pray for your friend who underwent bypass surgery.</p>
<p>Scholarships: Up 'til now, I’ve manned the schedule, nagged religiously, and left the actual work up to him. Oh, and I did all the FAFSA, Profile, and college-specific financial aid forms. This weekend, I’m joining the “enablers” group…I’m going to offer to do anything but essays to get this process over with. I’m going to tell him it’s a “limited time offer” so that it pushes him to get this stuff done by Sunday night. Let’s get this done!!!</p>
<p>BI - so sorry about bluejr’s loss. What a difficult thing to deal with. He is fortunate to have you there to help him through it.</p>
<p>Welcome newcomers! It is so nice to see new names and share some new stories. This is a great group, and the more the merrier!</p>
<p>The burnout/procrastination issue is a tough one. I can’t say that I’ve had much success in getting past it, but I like mamom’s suggestion of setting aside 15-20 minutes a day. Things can get so overwhelming, and the “small bites” approach could be the ticket. </p>
<p>And FLMathmom - there is absolutely nothing wrong with “filling in the blanks” with routine information. Let our students focus on the substantive stuff - that is more than enough for them! I am happy to help D with administrative support, knowing she has the laboring oar with the rest.</p>