<p>S has been accepted to 8 schools, deferred by two (one was his favorite) and still waiting on 4 more. His favorite that deferred him said they wanted midyear grades which so happened to go down, so I am assuming he will not get in and if he does he won’t get merit. If you remember he has very high SAT scores but a B average. He has visited most of his schools at least once, some twice. H who has visited the schools with him really likes the school that just offered him a nice merit scholarship in addition to the merit they previously gave him with a statement that they were looking for more money for him. I think they see beyond the GPA, thank goodness. S likes the school but it is not his favorite. At this point I would not be unhappy if he doesn’t get into his 54K a year favorite because I would rather they tell him no, than me. I don’t think the school is worth full pay if he has an offer at what we think is a just as good school that will only cost us 40% of the favorite. He has one other school that also offered hm a similar amount of merit so there are at least two cheaper choices. There is a kid at H’s favorite school who graduated from S’s school last year. H knows the Father and we are thinking of asking him to arrange to have S visit his Son overnight and perhaps for two nights so S can go to some classes and get a feel for the campus on the weekends. Other than that I think we are done with visits. </p>
<p>Not sure if I mentioned it here, but we recently had S evaluated for ADD at the local public school. He tested very superior, superior and high average in everything except processing speed where he tested average. Because of this it was suggested he see a medical doctor for an official ADHD diagnosis and then have S go to see an educational therapist. The psychologist who evaluated him said she is surprised he still loves learning after all these years. Bad Mommy. We always though he was just unorganized and a little lazy. She felt he has enough time between now and college to adjust and get on track for school. She said his inefficient way of thinking has to be exhausting. …sigh.</p>
<p>mamom - NO Bad Mommy’s here! We missed a learning disability with our oldest son that was only found by a neuro-psych evaluation for ADHD. How in the heck does a kid who is gifted artistically have a written language disability? His handwriting is stellar. Evidentially he ‘draws’ his letters, which is a much different neurological pathway and far more labor intensive. He has a high IQ and was able to compensate for many years so we missed it. (The answer btw was to keyboard which bypasses that part of the brain).</p>
<p>There is a fine line between ‘quirky and simply who they are’, and they things that need to be ‘fixed’. What you saw in your son was simply part of who he was. He was obviously very adept at compensating. Learning coping skills will go a long way. You can spend a year beating yourself up because you missed this, or have some chocolate and call it a day. I suggest the latter. ;)</p>
<p>Wow- I knew you were my people. D has a learning disability too. The one she allows us to mention is dysgraphia- she can draw her letters with beautiful penmanship when she is copying something and has time- it is art to her. But if you ask her to write something out- like answering a short answer or essay question, she will miss letters in words and lose complexity of thought. Because she was so high functioning in other areas, she was able to compensate and was diagnosed very, very late. Even now her teachers resist accomodations because they see how smart she is and think the help is not necessary. Good going mamom for finding the issue irrespective of the timing.</p>
<p>AK - Tough question that we are debating as well. S applied to 10 schools (2 safeties he is admitted to and 8 stretch/reach schools). We have visited one of the safety schools but it isn’t the one he prefers. We have visited 6 of the 8 stretch/reach schools and he has his favorite 3, all of which we have visited.</p>
<p>We have told him that he may visit/re-visit up to 3 schools once the acceptance decisions and FA numbers are in and they make sense (our decision). If he gets 8 denials, its real simple - we just visit the one safety we haven’t seen. One of the reaches is on the west coast and we will only go there if he gets in and his preferred schools say no. Otherwise, we could be bouncing from the Chicago area to the mid-south to the east coast and New England as only two of the schools are even near one another. If by some miracle he gets 7 or 8 acceptances, I will need a stiff drink to sort it all out. </p>
<p>His spring break is the last week of April (21st through the 29th) and we don’t want to wait that long so we will check the admitted students visit schedules and try to coordinate with travel options and his varsity baseball schedule (sorry coach - he might miss a game or two). Fortunately, all of this will be over by the AP testing period. Then we get to argue with the school about absences as he only has two official college visit absence days left and even if we fly, it will be hard to take less than two days for these visits, particluarly if they are overnight on campus visits. Hopefully the school will cut him some slack as he is currently top in his class. Bottom line - we are holding off and we realize that last minute air will be higher. We have to wait until we know where we may have to go. If I can, I will try to use airmiles to avoid last minute fares. At least during the week, it might be easier to use miles.</p>
<p>I am sure that most everyone on this forum will have similar issues, concerns and constraints. It will be quite interesting to read the posts in April and May as all of this insanity is put to rest and the final chapters of all of these stories are written.</p>
<p>arisamp – When you arrive for dinner, announce that you are declaring a moratorium on ‘college talk’…you’ll talk about anything else, even politics and religion, but you feel as if one more person brings up college with you, you’ll just lose it. Then bring up a prepared subject like how lousy the last Oscar telecast was! </p>
<p>To see or not to see: We’ve been to two of the four, both of which have accepted her. If she chooses one of the ‘un-seen’, we will go up w/o waiting for the accepted student day.</p>
<p>blueiguana- I think this must be what my oldest had. Since he was already recognized as ADHD, we once mentioned his incredibly slow writing. The development psychiatrist ordered some writing tests. He was about 9 then. His skill was that of a 16 yo but his speed was slower than a 6 yo. We also transitioned to typing. He does draw very well, though.</p>
<p>Mamom- I am taking my d to her neuropsych evaluation visit on Monday. SHe has a long time ADHD diagnosis but now we will have it done officially again for college and also figure out why she has such memory problems. D and I have been filling out the forms for the evaluation today and it has been hard. There is no doubt in my mind or anyone else’s who has seen her unmedicated that she is ADHD. She has, in fact, severe ADHD, which is rather well controlled by her medications. But that isn’t who she is so it is hard to anser questions like does she do her work= well, yes, of course she does or she wouldn’t have such an excellent GPA or have all these merit awards that she has been receiving. THe question isn’t whether she gets the work done but how long it takes her, how much more difficult it is for her, and are there any ways that accomodations might help her. </p>
<p>D so much needs a single room/ Partly for her- she has migraines and needs to have a no smell zone plus a no light zone, in case she gets one plus she needs total blackout for her insomnia. But just as important is that she needs to be alone not to annoy others- in the morning before her medication takes effect and in the evenings, she talks. SHe repeats sayings and she can be very, very annoying. She also gets stuck on subjects and needs to be able to escape to her room so as to not annoy people. It really isn’t an issue from around 9am to 7pm but before or after, it really can be and usually is. It is why we can’t have a favorite choice until it is clear which colleges grant her a single room.</p>
<p>The human brain is fascinating. We always thought that our son was terrific at puzzles (the kind where you put together physical pieces.) When he had an extensive assessment, we found out that he is terrible at puzzles - it was his weakest skill! What he had was a terriifc memory - so once he put the puzzle together one time, he could remember where every piece went and then put it together very quickly thereafter.</p>
<p>Novelisto - nice idea about the moratorium on college talk at dinner. Fortunately for us, S has a very busy Saturday and we are going to have to cancel the dinner plans with those friends :(</p>
<p>We broached the topic that D might be ADD with her doctor a couple of times. We hadn’t noticed anything significant, but just that she didn’t seem to be able to concentrate on anything for a significant period of time. The doctor dismissed this saying that a kid who could manage all the schedules and the work that D does, cannot be ADD. Now, that might very well be true - but I am learning a lot from this forum - that high achieving kids might actually be able to mask or cover up some of these deficiencies until much later.</p>
<p>Sigh - got an email from school - S is in trouble (has a demerit) for talking in class when he’s not supposed to. This kid is going to be so much more trouble for me rather than D :(</p>
<p>Here’s the thing, oh mighty '11 parents, and please listen carefully: The crucial issue is not necessarily whether there is or isn’t ADD or any other diagnosable condition. The issue is whether the student has achieved what he has on his own, or whether it has required coaching from you. Even if your child is very ADD, or has a severe processing disorder or whatever, if he has figured out how to juggle assignments without your help, how to stay on task without your help, how to get everything turned in and on time without any help or prodding from you, then he’ll be fine in college. BUT, if you give constant reminders of deadlines, help him get organized for major projects so he won’t get overwhelmed, help him manage his time and workload, that is a signal that your child may have executive function issues. That is when you should be concerned.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that coaching by parents is wrong at all. I’m just saying that if you have needed to act as your child’s “executive function” in high school, he is going to need a similar coach in college.</p>
<p>Also grats to all done with finaid stuff. I have still have a few things to send. I wish school’s that want tons of stuff (signed tax forms, W2’s etc.) could wait til the kids are admitted. My daughter’s “reachi-est” school is the one I have to send all that to, and it’s likely she won’t even get in.</p>
<p>Owm, I am also anxiously awaiting MIT’s “pi day” decision for daughter’s bf, will send good vibes your son’s way as well!</p>
<p>Kinderny, I think your daughter’s “date” is a lucky guy – and sounds like he and their friends know it.</p>
<p>Onegirlsmom, too bad we don’t have those cryo sleep chambers like in Alien/Aliens. Of course things didn’t work out so well for those guys…</p>
<p>MilMom, Ah I remember the days of moving with the military. I hope you get stationed somewhere you’ve been wanting to go!</p>
<p>On visits: It depends so much on individual circumstances. My daughter has three schools she hasn’t visited, but two are fairly low on the list and we don’t plan on anything until after all the decisions are in.</p>
<p>On learning disabilities: My senior has a mild ld (though it can come with executive function problems and I second what missypie says!) and second kid is high functioning autistic. She’s doing fairly well in school, but her “fluency” scores (basically processing speed) are in the single digit percentiles. Finding the right postsecondary fit for her will be a challenge. (And I’m already sure she’ll need a single room!)</p>
<p>Oh, the good news: daughter got second acceptance – Beloit College!</p>
<p>The visit question is a tough one. My D is accepted at 3 and waiting on 2 more, but really just one more, since the other no longer interests her (since she’s in to some favorites). She has visited all of her top 3, and just re-visited one of them for Accepted Students’ Weekend. She is not one inch closer to knowing what to do after that visit.</p>
<p>So we’re debating on whether to spend the money and time to send her to the others in April. Maybe that will make the choice clear for her… but then again, it may just confuse her all the more!</p>
<p>When you put all this effort into finding the right “fit,” you often find several good fits. She’s fortunate to have this problem, but she so stressed about the choice that she’s currently in a No Talking About College state of embargo.</p>
<p>The last week of April is going to be filled with Pro and Con lists, I suspect.</p>
<p>missypie - get what you are saying. In D’s case, she manages completely on her own. Oh, I did nag for some of the college deadlines (more like I needed her to finish them ahead of time) - but other than that, she’s usually on top of all her work/deadlines etc. Being a three sport athlete has taught her how to stay organized and make best use of her time.</p>
<p>Now, S on the other hand - completely different story. I might need to watch him more carefully to see if he is “just” disorganized or if there is something more lurking under the covers!</p>
<p>Novelisto - neat dress uh? I should send the link to H to make him feel better about what we spent last night :)</p>
<p>So D calls me from school today and leaves a message asking to take a city bus to my office instead of the school bus home. She asks me to call her back. I knew she was still at school (in study hall, not class) but I figured the call would go to voice mail and then she would retrieve the message. Instead she picks up the phone and I hear voices, etc in the background- some talking to her it appears. We conclude our business quickly and I hang up.<br>
When I meet her to give her a ride home she tells me what happened. She saw the call was from me and asked to be excused from the room, the teacher assented. She went out in the hall and proceeded to pick up the call and a few freshmen objected and tried to report her to a teacher. It was one of D’s former teachers. The teacher just looked at D and said, “Are you talking to your Mom?” D said yes. Teacher then started to point out that the school prefers students to use the office phone, but D said that I had called her. So the teacher said fine, all the while the freshman objecting that phones weren’t allowed in school. </p>
<p>I looked quizzically at D wondering how she worked this permission? Turns out that once when her phone was confiscated sophomore year, she found and presented to the principal the State Education Law that said (I am paraphrasing) that schools had to permit students, who attended classes more than a specified number of miles from their school districts, to use their phones at school. She also gave another provision to him that mandated that phones could not be taken from any student conversing with their parent. </p>
<p>Funny, she never shared this story with us before. :eyeroll: I guess she figures the statute of limitations is up on this one. God only knows what else she got up to without our knowledge. (And God only knows if the teachers think she did this with our knowledge and support. No wonder they “hate” me there. )</p>
<p>Novelisto - thanks for sharing the dress link! I spent more than I intended for D2s dress, probably because she loved the dress and partly because I just didn’t have time to keep looking. This made me feel sooo much better.</p>
<p>Mamom, It sounds like your son was given an IQ test. When I had my 14 year old tested last year, the psychologist told me that it is very common for gifted kids to have seemingly disproportionately low scores in processing speed. Google “Gifted processing speed” for a explanation by an expert in gifted children. I’m not sure I would accept that my son had ADD just because he took longer to process things. He might just “think more” about the questions. JMHO</p>
is dysgraphia- she can draw her letters with beautiful penmanship when she is copying something and has time- it is art to her. But if you ask her to write something out- like answering a short answer or essay question, she will miss letters in words and lose complexity of thought. Because she was so high functioning in other areas, she was able to compensate and was diagnosed very, very late. Even now her teachers resist accomodations because they see how smart she is and think the help is not necessary. Good going mamom for finding the issue irrespective of the timing.</p>